


What Now

by BabiesAteMyDingo



Category: State of Decay (Video Game)
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/M, Forced Pregnancy, Job is a real dickhole, Sexual Slavery, Zombies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-03
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-23 22:11:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 63,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2557562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabiesAteMyDingo/pseuds/BabiesAteMyDingo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maya and her group are captured by the Wilkersons. Fearing what the men might do to Lily, Maya offers herself to Mickey, hoping her body would be enough to keep Lily safe. But it seems Mickey isn't quite the monster he appears, and Maya is thrust into a new life of servitude where she has to maintain a lie to keep all three of them safe. Maya/Mickey ON HIATUS</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just really love this pairing WHY BRAIN. WHY. THERE IS LITERALLY NO FIC OR SUPPORT FOR IT.
> 
> WARNINGS: NON-CON/DUB-CON (discussed, off-screen, past occurrences), violence against women (and men), swearing, sort-of slavery, DARK THEMES OKAY. Oh and zombies.
> 
> I just can't get this stupid pairing out of my brain. So I'm dabbling some more in a (hopefully) shorter story. But yeah, this is pretty dark, with women being enslaved by men, used etc. But I'm a romantic sap at heart, so expect a happy ending.
> 
> ON HIATUS (because I am a horrible human being)

* * *

 

 

The massive campfire set out on the grass cast the surrounding men in a hellish red glow, distorting their grinning faces in flickering shadow. They hollered and laughed, swigging bottles of alcohol, swaying in towards the prisoners with lewd shouts and pinching fingers.

Marcus, Ed and Jacob struggled futilely across the fire. They had been hogtied and gagged, even more so than the women, and separated from the others. Maya didn't like to think what was planned for them, but it had to better than what was in her future.

It had been stupid, and Maya still wasn't done swearing to herself. They should have put up a fight, should have been  _prepared._ But they had been expecting zombies, not other survivors, when they had begun boarding up the old church. When a group of men toting machine guns demanded they opened the doors, what choice did they have? Too late, Maya had realized what they intended and tried to fight them off. It had been a short but intense firefight, ending when one of the goons took Lily as a hostage and threatened to blow her head off.

The survivors had been tied up and thrown into the back of a truck, spirited away from the only shelter they had known in weeks. It was left to the zombs now, crumbling and empty like the rest of the town. Had this happened to others too? Maya and her group couldn't be the first; not judging from how easily these men seemed to work together.

Maya wasn't even surprised as the truck pulled up the dirt track leading to the Barrett House. Of  _course_  this was Wilkerson work. They had a warped definition of gratitude considering it was thanks to Maya their crumbling fortress hadn't been brought down by one of those fat fuckers. Maybe that had even made her a target, who knew.

The only small comfort was seeing Doc, tied up on the porch and shouting. At least the old doctor hadn't agreed to this. And Maya had a pretty good idea of what  _this_ was.

One man made for Lily, large hands pawing at the teenager's shivering form. She screamed, prompting more laughter, trying desperately to wiggle away from the groping hand but unable to with her hands tied behind her back. The man grabbed her ankle, hauling her towards him. Maya lunged, pushing herself in front of the teenager and baring her teeth at the man as he pulled away.

"Touch her again, I bite your balls off," she threatened. "Try me, motherfucker."

The man retreated hurriedly to the raucous laughter of his friends. Lily pressed up against Maya's back, trembling.

"Maya, what are they going to do with us?" she whispered, and Maya could hear the tremor in her voice. "I'm so scared."

There were two other women who had survived the assault. Maggie, an older women with greying hair, and Sam, the tough cookie who Maya had just begun to become friends with. They sat side by side stoically, but caught Maya's eye with their own, all three women understanding what was to come.

"I'll try to protect you, Lil," she said quietly, "But I'm not going to lie to you, these men aren't…friendly."

Sam struggled, cursing darkly. "Just say it like it is, Maya, no point sugar-coating it. First, they'll rape us, and if we're lucky, that's  _all_ they'll do."

Lily went still at Maya's back. "R…rape us?"

Maggie glared at Sam. "You're scaring her."

"Good!" Sam wriggled, earning herself a kick from one of the men who had originally captured them. Sam spat a curse at him. "She should be scared! They'll gang-rape us half to death, then make us play Mom to them, cooking and cleaning and we'll be expected to be their fucktoys whenever they damn well please. Might as well get used to the idea quick."

Maya's stomach churned, and she fought down the vomit rising in her throat. Lily was shaking, audibly sobbing now.

"I promise Lil," Maya said, louder this time to be heard over the jeering men as she scrabbled her fingers to latch on to the teenager behind her. "I'll do  _anything_ to protect you. I swear to God."

Maggie looked at her sadly. "I don't think these men will let you, Maya. Lily, sweetie, just remember that you need to  _live._ Let them do what they will with your body, they can't touch your mind and soul. You hear me, baby? They can't touch you."

Lily only sobbed harder, curling onto Maya hopelessly.

Across the fire, Marcus' eyes met Maya's. He looked devastated, bound and helpless, and even he knew what was to come for them.

A voice rose over the men, and the noise began to die down.

"Alright, enough o' that you rowdy bastards!"

All three women stiffened, Lily curling into a defensive ball.

Job Wilkerson strode through the crowd, the fire casting feral shadows across his face.

"Well, well. Look who it is," he grinned, glittering eyes focused on Maya. "We meet again, sweetheart."

Maya tilted her chin defiantly. "Let them go, Job. Let them go, and I'll do whatever your dark little heart desires, I swear it."

The men roared with laughter. Job tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Oh I bet you would. But, see, I can't do that. I promised my men a good time, and we wouldn't want to disappoint them now would we?"

He beckoned to one of the men. "The feisty one."

Lily screamed as Sam was grabbed and pulled forward. She didn't make it easy on them, kicking and spitting like a wildcat. Job watched her bemusedly as she was pulled away from the fire towards the house. Further away, cheering started up, men braying like hounds who had spotted a fox.

Maya's vision swam, her stomach churning. She blinked, swaying.

"Please," she ground, getting up on her knees. "Please for the love of God, just let them go."

Job smirked. "Now the old one."

Maggie was next, and she caught Maya's eye, the older woman sorrowful but resigned. She refused to be dragged though, getting to her feet and walking to her fate as dignified as she could be. Maya wished she could be half as composed. Rage filled her veins, made her shaky and her vision blurry.

The coppery tang of blood flooded her mouth, and Maya realized she had bitten through her lip. "Please, Job. I'm begging. I'll do whatever you want, just…just not her. Leave the girl alone."

Lily sobbed harder. Job laughed, head thrown back and Maya fantasized about sinking her teeth into his exposed jugular, ripping his life out in a spray of crimson. "Oh you'll do whatever I want, I know. But that one, she's a one-in-a-million. Bet you're still a virgin, 'aint ya sweet thing?"

He snorted, and the men laughed. "Not for long."

Lily had plastered herself against Maya's back, her face hidden between Maya's shoulder blades as if she could just disappear. Maya wished she could too.

Job took a step forward. "I'm gonna enjoy breaking her in, myself."

Hands grabbed Lily's arms, tearing her away from Maya.

" _No_!" Maya twisted, nearly dislocating her shoulder as she struggled to free her arms. "No,  _please!"_

"Maya!" Lily screamed, hauled away from her. Tears streaked down her dirty face. "Maya, help me!"

Another shape pushed through the crowd, coming to a stop beside Job. Mickey Wilkerson stood a head and shoulders taller than his brother, and was twice as mean. He watched the scene with an emotionless expression, the firelight dancing in his pale eyes.

Maya didn't have a hope in defeating anyone. Even if she got free, she was desperately outnumbered. Across the fire, Jacob was shouting through his gag, flopping around like a fish. Someone kicked him, once, twice, and he finally fell still. Marcus had chewed through his gag and was screaming obscenities, but four or five punches to the face and he fell silent too.

Face burning in shame at what she was going to do, Maya managed to stumble up onto her feet. The men around her stiffened, hands going to their guns but she only made it a few paces, falling back down onto her knees. Job watched her with a smirk, but it was to Mickey Maya crawled, knees scuffling against the grass and dirt, wrists throbbing from her movements. She didn't stop until she was practically on him, pressing her chest up against his leg.

"I'll do anything," she pleaded, staring up into his impassive face. "Please, I'll let you do anything to me; just…just let her be."

"Jesus, woman," Mickey growled, shaking her off like a misbehaving dog. "Have some goddamn dignity."

Maya bit down on the rage that threatened to engulf her. Lily was screaming behind her, she only had this small window to try and save her.

She pressed up against him again, trying to stifle the urge to throw up on him. "Please," she said softer, hopefully more seductively. "I'll show you a good time."

Despite the jeering and laughter of the men surrounding them, Maya forced herself to rise up on her knees, pressing her nose into the crease where his thigh joined his hip, the warmth of her breath fanning his crotch.

The laughing rose in volume. Maya glanced up through her eyelashes.

Mickey's eyes had darkened. He stared down at her, saying nothing, and Maya's heart was in her mouth, precious seconds ticking away as Lily sobbed in the background.

Job laughed loudest. "What a fucking whore. Fucking gagging for it!"

Mickey pulled his gaze away from Maya, looking over at his brother. Maya stayed pressed up against him, holding her breath.

"Get me the little one," he grunted, and Maya's heart almost stopped beating. "I'll have 'em both."

There were protests.

"Aw, c'mon, Mickey," one man whined. "You can't have  _both_  of 'em, that's just greedy!"

Cruel hands latched onto Maya's biceps, dragging her backwards, fingers digging bruises into her skin.

"Yeah! Let us have a tast-"

Mickey moved faster than Maya was expecting. The man dragging Maya went down with only one hit, blood pouring out of his broken nose as he gurgled. Promptly all laughter stopped. A nervous tension filled the air, only broken by the quiet punches of Lily's sobs.

Mickey wiped his bloody knuckles on his shirt. "I said, I'll have 'em both."

Job shifted nervously. "But Mickey-"

"Job," Mickey said calmly, reaching Maya in two strides. She didn't fight him as he bent down to haul her onto his shoulder, flopping like a doll as he straightened, a possessive arm holding her in place across the back of her thighs. Maya stared down his back, hardly daring to breathe. "Don't make me repeat myself."

Even Job feared Mickey's temper, Maya realized, wondering what exactly she had gotten herself and Lily into. Maybe she had just made things worse.

Lily was thrown at Mickey's feet, the neck of the girl's shirt torn and gaping to reveal her pale shoulders and a grimy bra.

"On your feet, girl," Mickey growled, and trembling, Lily obeyed, stumbling on nerveless legs as she wrapped her arms around herself. "And quit your damn cryin'. Can't stand a woman weepin' in bed."

He grabbed the back of her neck roughly, and Lily yelped, prompting a few amused titters from the men. Mickey steered her towards the house and Lily went meekly, keeping her eyes on the ground as they pushed through the crowd. Maya raised her head, craning to see the others, but she only caught a glimpse of Ed's wide eyed stare before the ranks of men closed around them.

Mickey pushed Lily up the creaking stairs, and Maya could see Doc then, tied up and struggling. The doctor looked like hell, one side of his face bruised and one eye swollen shut.

"Don't you do it boy," Doc threatened as Mickey climbed the porch steps. "Don't you touch that little girl. Maya, Maya I'm sorry I tried-"

"It's okay, Doc," Maya said to him, even as Mickey pulled open the squeaking front door, pushing Lily inside. "It'll…it'll be okay."

Mickey jostled her, digging his fingers into the back of one thigh. "Quit your yammerin', 'fore I decide to let Job have his way with ya."

The door slammed shut on Doc's horrified expression, and Maya was left blinking in the darkness, trying to adjust her eyes. They ascended the stairs, Maya's head butting lightly against Mickey's back. She could hear Lily hiccuping, the girl trying to force her cries back down. Mickey said nothing, merely directing her to the top of the stairs and down the rotting hallway.

_At least he won't rape us out there,_ Maya thought dimly, brain already beginning to switch into survival mode.  _Maybe it won't be as bad for Lily that way._

The room Mickey shoved Lily into was small, a camping mat spread out beneath the window. A small pile of pillows and blankets were piled in the corner, and it was here Mickey forced Lily down with a heavy hand on her shoulder.

Lily got to her knees, tears still streaming down her cheeks. Next was Maya, dumped unceremoniously onto the camping mat. She rolled onto her side, desperately searching out Lily's face in the gloom.

"Lil, Lil  _look at me,_ " she said desperately. Mickey had gone to the other side of the room, rummaging in a bag set up against the wall. Lily turned to her, sucking in air through her mouth.

"You just think of a safe place, okay? You think of the happiest memory you have and you  _stay there_. Just…just close your eyes and everything will be okay. I promise."

It was a goddamn lie, but Lily seemed to take strength from Maya's words, nodding as she turned back to face the wall, shoulders heaving. Mickey's boots thudded on the floorboards, and Maya craned to look up at the dark figure looming over her.

"Please, you don't need to touch her; I'll do whatever you want."

Saying nothing, Mickey moved towards Lily. Maya rolled onto her belly, furiously trying to wiggle close.

"I swear I won't fight you. You can fuck me anyway you want, just…just please leave her alone."

Something glinted in the dim light from the window, and Lily whimpered. Maya struggled against her bonds.

"Please!"

Lily went quiet, and something fell to the floor. It took Maya a moment to realize Mickey had cut the rope binding Lily's hands. He grabbed a nearby blanket, tossing it to the shaking teen.

"Here. Stuff a pillow over your ears and a blanket over ya. Do that, and I won't touch ya. Just keep quiet."

Lily did as she was bid, shuffling in the dark. Maya breathed, relief flooding her as Mickey moved to her next.

"Thank you," she breathed, limbs trembling as they were finally cut free. "Thank you, I…I'll do whatever you want."

She rolled over, sitting up and rubbing her numb wrists. There was a chair in the corner of the room and Mickey grabbed it, dragging it over to the window, sinking down, his legs parted in a sprawl.

"C'mere."

Maya was too relieved to fight. If it kept Lily safe and untouched, she wouldn't put up a shred of resistance.

She got to her feet, moving to stand in front of him. Her boots had been pulled off by one of the men before she had been dumped into the truck, though she hadn't understood the purpose. The wood was cool beneath her feet, rough. Mickey sat in silence, looking her up and down. Finally, he leaned back with a sigh, the chair creaking beneath him.

"You shouldn't have t' thank me for not forcin' her," Mickey's voice was rough, fierce. "God _damn_."

Maya stood in front of him, uncertain. The night air trickled in from the open window, goose bumps prickling along her skin. She could hear men's voices, a women yelling if she strained her ears.

Maya tried not to think of Maggie or Sam.

Mickey beckoned her forward with a hand. "Alright. We gotta make you look roughed up."

Maya stepped between his knees, still confused.

"I…I don't understand. Aren't you going to…?"

Mickey growled, reaching out to grab her wrist. Maya flinched as he pulled her down onto his lap.

"Dammit woman, I'm not my brother. I don't…I never…" he turned to stare moodily out the window, jaw tense.

Maya sat on his knee, unsure of what she should be doing. He sighed again, scrubbing a hand across his face.

"I only do my women willin', yeah? But Job he, I dunno. He's not the same. None of 'em are."

Maya hardly dared hope. "You…aren't going to rape us?"

"No!" Mickey spat, turning on her. "No, goddammit. She's what, thirteen? Probably 'aint even had her first blood yet and Job was gonna…wanted to…"

He growled. "I couldn't take you all. If you hadn't done your little beggin' act, probably wouldn't have gotten you either. I wouldn't have let 'em have her. I swear."

Maya stared at him. "It wasn't an act. I'm…willing to do what I have to."

Mickey touched her then, pushing her hair away from her neck to cup her jaw. Maya couldn't help but flinch away from the contact, and she knew Mickey had noticed.

"Sure. You're a downright martyr. But I gotta put some marks on ya otherwise they'll start thinkin' I've gone soft. And you'll be here a while. I'll do what I can but I 'aint gonna be around all the time. So 'round the others, you're mine. You obey me like I've beaten and fucked you docile. You understand, yeah? 'Cause they'll take you, and they'll take  _her_ , if they know I 'aint touched ya."

Mickey looked over towards where Lily was cowering, buried under blankets and no doubt thinking that right now, Mickey was having his way with Maya.

Maya took a deep breath. "I understand."

Mickey nodded, eyes locked onto hers. "Take your shirt off."

Maya did as she was told, pulling the stained and torn fabric over her head, revealing a black bra that had seen better days. She wondered briefly if her coat had made it, confiscated with her weapons, but then Mickey was leaning forward, his lips latching onto her neck as his hands grabbed onto her hips, sucking a mark into her skin.

Maya froze, heart pounding against her ribs as he sucked a bruise into existence, moving to the other side of her neck as soon as he was finished. His beard was rough against her skin, his lips demanding, and slowly Maya yielded to him, tilting her head back for easier access.

Mickey shuffled her closer against him but the angle was awkward, Maya sitting primly across his knee. She pushed on his shoulder and he released her with an obscene pop, his lips slick in the gloom.

Maya's face was flaming and she looked anywhere but his mouth, getting to her feet. "Here, just…this is easier."

She stepped over his legs to straddle his thighs, his legs still sprawled in a wide v. Mickey grunted, wrapping his arms around her waist to haul her close, mouth going back to her neck. Maya stared over his head, uncertainly resting her hands on his shoulders.

She felt the blunt scrape of teeth, and a few seconds later he was moving down to her collarbone, biting lightly. His hands moved down to her thighs, pinching hard enough to leave marks, and Maya bore it silently.

A whirlwind of emotions threatened to choke her. Relief, fear, anger, worry. Out there her friends were in danger, yet she was in here engaged in some…heavy petting.

_To save Lily,_ she told herself stubbornly.  _I'm doing what I have to._

Mickey grasped her chin, turning her head so he could nose along her jaw-line, leaving her skin red in his wake.

Furiously, Maya realized her body was responding, growing warm beneath his touch. She wanted to hate him, hate him for what was happening outside, for what his brother was doing, for just having the cursed name  _Wilkerson._

But she couldn't. It was thanks to him that Lily was curled in a corner  _untouched._ For some unearthly reason, Mickey wasn't like his brother. And Maya was lucky enough to have ended up with him.

Maya was a survivor. She had been willing to do any terrible debauched act in order to barter her and Lily's lives. Now, she was willing to do whatever it took to make sure that this little act of theirs was successful.

Determined, Maya rolled her hips, pushing herself more firmly into Mickey's touch. She wound her arms around his shoulders, fingers sliding into his thick dark hair.

Mickey jolted, lips breaking contact with her skin. "What're you-"

"You better bite me like you mean it," Maya said fiercely. "You do what you have to, and I'll take it. I mean it, Mickey. If you're serious about helping us, then you need to do it right. Break skin, make me bleed. It's the only thing that'll satisfy those dogs outside."

Mickey's eyes were black in the darkness. "You don't know what you're askin'. I'll hurt you."

"I can take pain. I'm strong."

Mickey stared at her, trailing a finger down her jaw. "Never said you weren't."

His eyes flickered down to her lips, thumb rubbing over the chapped skin of her lower lip. "But I wanna make it good for ya, too. That alright?"

Maya swallowed, merely nodding sharply. She didn't know what that meant, but whatever he could dish out, she could take. She had to.

He breathed shakily, dropping his hand to curl gently around her neck. "Alright. I gotta…I gotta wreck your mouth some. Make it look like you fought me."

His fingers tightened on her neck, and Maya fought down the instinctual panic rising at the movement. "I'll only press hard enough to make it look like I choked ya."

He leaned in close then, and Maya held herself still, hardly breathing as he slotted his lips to hers, fingers digging into the vulnerable skin of her throat. He bit her at her lower lip, tugging the sore flesh between his teeth.

Maya could taste blood, but she remained still. The fingers left her throat then and Mickey pulled away, grimacing. "Sorry. Bet that'll look convincin' though."

He kissed her again, gentler this time, soothing her stinging lip with his tongue, and Maya parted her lips hesitantly, half expecting him to just thrust inside, his whole story of protecting them a lie to get behind her defenses.

He didn't, leaving her lips to mouth her smarting throat. "I'm gonna bite down hard a couple times. It's gonna hurt."

He shifted her hips until she was straddling him completely, his hands dropping to the curve of her bottom. Maya resisted the urge to squirm, face reddening as she felt him beginning to stir beneath her.

There was no warning, one minute he was just running his lips against her pounding pulse, and the next he was biting her, everything screaming at Maya to push him away, get him away from the most vulnerable area of her body.

Maya struggled through it, her arms clamping like a vice around Mickey's shoulders.

_This is the best possible outcome,_ she reassured herself, even as he released her to bite down in a different spot. Maya's teeth ground at the pain, tears pricking the corners of her eyes.

She didn't realize she was doing it until Mickey growled at her, his hands stilling her moving hips. It was an instinctual movement, rocking to ride out any waves of pain, but her movements in their position had her grinding against him.

"Stop that," he pulled away to glare at her, and woozily Maya saw blood on his lips.

"You said you'd make it good," Maya shot back, nerves shot with too much adrenaline. "So make it  _good_."

Mickey stared at her for a beat. Without a sound, the hands at her hips pushed her down, copying her movements from earlier, as he shifted his legs wider. It brought Maya's crotch directly in line with his, and Maya grunted as she felt the hard line of his beginning erection through his jeans. Maya's own yoga pants were thin, and as he rocked her over him, she could feel him grow harder, pressing up into her softer folds through the fabric.

He moved his mouth to her collar bone, sucking and biting as she ground against him.

Maybe it was all the adrenaline, or the pain, or just the goddamn  _craziness_ that had been that day, but Maya's body responded to his, concentrating more on the pleasurable jolts every time her sex came into contact with his, rather than the pain of him biting marks into her skin.

"Better?" he rumbled, voice vibrating against her skin.

"Shut up," Maya panted, fingers scrabbling against his scalp. "Just…just finish it."

She didn't know if she was referring to the marking or the grinding, but Mickey obliged her on both counts, biting down where her shoulder met her neck, thrusting his hips up sharply.

It was enough to get her off, Maya's body shuddering and thighs shaking around Mickey's hips. A few jerky movements later and Mickey seemed to find his, mouthing a curse into Maya's shoulder as his fingers dug welts into the curves of her ass.

They breathed heavily in the silence until Maya's thighs started protesting. She clambered off Mickey, legs wobbly and collapsed down onto the camping mat. Mickey got up, moving towards the corner of the room where Maya could see a box with piled clothes on top. She closed her eyes as he began to strip.

"Will it be enough?" she asked tiredly, body aching. She longed to reach out and gather Lily into her arms, reassure the girl everything was fine, but she was so tired, and in her current state she might frighten Lily more.

Mickey slipped off his boots, letting them thud against the floorboards. "Hopefully. Like I said though, you gotta act like I've beaten ya."

Clothing rustled, and then Mickey was moving back to her side. Maya opened her eyes to see he was offering her a shirt. She sat up slowly, wincing. "I will. What exactly are we expected to do now that we're…staying?"

It was the nicest word she could think of to describe their situation. Mickey watched her pull on the shirt, himself now clad in just a pair of boxers. In the dark Maya couldn't see details, but he was solidly built, broad shouldered with a toned stomach.

"Clean and cook. Got some other women here, they'll show ya. Most of 'em are…" he frowned, obviously uncomfortable.

"Shared," Maya said bluntly. "Like a harem."

Mickey avoided her eyes. "But I'll make a show of it, tell 'em you're off limits. Mine."

Maya flopped down onto the bed, uncaring of how uncomfortable it was. "Great. Can't wait."

Mickey stepped over her, snagging a spare blanket from the pile Lily was buried under. The girl didn't make a peep, hopefully already passed out from exhaustion.

Maya didn't pull away as Mickey settled down beside her, draping a blanket over them both.

"I'll dig up some more beddin' tomorrow," he said quietly, breath warm against Maya's abused neck. "Get the girl somethin'. But for now we should-"

"Sleep together. I get it." Maya closed her eyes, exhausted beyond words. She didn't protest when Mickey slid an arm under her head to give her something to rest her head on, didn't make a peep as he slotted himself against her, a warm wall of protection.

Maya fell asleep to the beating of his heart against her back, the movement of his chest as he breathed.

She didn't dream.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Discussions of non-con, past implied non-con, and pretend non-con. NON-CON. NON-CON EVERYWHERE. OC's as well.

* * *

 

 Maya woke up as someone carefully pulled away from her, cool air flooding into the space they left at her back. Cold, she grumbled unhappily as she opened her eyes.

The room wasn't familiar, paint peeling down the walls, a couple of dusty boxes in the corner and a sad looking chair. Startled, she raised her head.

Mickey moved around his meager belongings, picking up his discarded clothes and dropping them in a corner. The events of the night before flooded back to Maya in vivid Technicolor, her hand flying to her throbbing neck. The pile of blankets beside her rustled, Lily poking her head out.

"Maya?" she whispered. Mickey ignored both of them, pulling clean clothes out of one of the boxes. He had pulled on a pair of jeans but they hung low on his hips, unbuttoned. Maya's assessment of him last night had been accurate, he was muscled and toned, and in any other circumstance she may have been interested.

As it was, she felt a hum of resentment as she sat up, every muscle protesting. The fight yesterday, her rough treatment as she was dragged around like some sort of object, and now the bruises and bites Mickey had marked her with…she felt like a piece of meat. Away from the fear of the night and in the light of day, Maya let herself feel angry, trying to ignore the hot embarrassment of the memory of her grinding Mickey's lap like some sort of teenager.

_Adrenaline and fear,_ she reassured herself.  _Nothing more._

Lily was trembling, staring at her with wide eyes. Maya beckoned her over, knowing what she must look like.

"Come here, Lil, I'm okay," she said, barely opening her arms before Lily was in them, clutching her in a desperate hug.

"Maya," Lily sobbed, jamming her face into Maya's tender neck. Maya hissed, but didn't pull away, stroking the girl's hair. In the morning light Maya could see both of their wrists were chafed and raw, painful to touch.

Mickey glanced over, eyes meeting hers. "Get her ready," he said, voice flat. "Got work to do." There was no trace of the soft-voiced Mickey Maya had let mark her last night, just a hardened Wilkerson ready to face the day.

She glowered at him darkly, but knew she needed to do as he said. Despite last nights…c _onclusion,_ he hadn't forced her to do anything, hadn't taken advantage any more than she had let him. Now she needed to convince everyone else that she could be a docile obedient…whatever she was.

Maya pulled Lily away from her neck. "Lil, I need you to listen to me. There are things we're expected to do, and we need to do them quietly and obediently. Don't look at anyone, keep your head down and stay close to me."

Lily snuck a look at Mickey. "But…what about…"

"Mickey has me," Maya said, hating that she had to tell the lie to keep Lily safe. Let her think what she wanted, if Lily believed it, the other men would too. Someday, when they got out of this hell, Maya would tell her the truth. "He won't touch you, but you need to do exactly what he says. Okay? Promise me, Lil."

She was shaking, but Lily nodded. "I…I promise, Maya."

Maya looked over at Mickey. "What do we do?"

Mickey pulled a plain white t-shirt over his head, doing up his jeans and grabbing his usual red plaid over shirt. "Follow me. I'll take ya out back to the kitchens and they'll find work for you both."

Maya picked at the overlarge shirt Mickey had lent her last night. "And clothes, shoes?"

Mickey grabbed his own boots, pulling them on and lacing them up with quick movements. "I'll find somethin' later."

Lily's torn top still gaped, so using her hair tie; Maya scrunched the fabric up and tied it off, hiding Lily's shoulders. It meant Maya's hair cascaded freely, no doubt mussed and crazy, but she could deal. Lily's eyes were puffed and red, eyeing Maya's neck worriedly as they got to their feet, but she was quiet, trailing behind Maya as she in turn followed Mickey.

It was still early morning, most of the house still asleep as Mickey led the two women down the stairs and out the back door. She knew from visiting here before that most of the men slept out in the barn, only a select few settled in the house. Maya studied the house as they moved through, committing everything to memory. Who knew when their opportunity to escape might come, and she wasn't going to miss it when it did.

The weapons locker was in the same place, locked by the looks of it. Maya wondered if it was there Mickey kept his rifle, it certainly hadn't been in the room last night.

A few men had passed out on the porch but Mickey stepped over them without glancing twice, and Maya followed, Lily's sweaty hand firmly grasped in hers.

Behind the house there was a rickety building that could have been a barn at one point, but was now just a skeleton. The roof remained but two of the walls had holes in them, and judging from how the vegetation spilled through it, it had been like that a while.

Under the creaking roof, rows of wooden tables had been set up, with a menagerie of odd chairs and stools. A few women rushed between the tables, setting out bowls and spoons while two sentries watched them, guns held loosely. A fire was crackling outside the building, set little ways away, a stooped old woman peering into a large cast iron pot suspended over the flames. She was dressed in a long skirt and blouse, standing out among the younger woman in their ragged shirts and jeans. Occasionally she would stir, and as Mickey led them over to her, Maya recognized the smell of porridge in the air.

The ground was cold against Maya's bare feet, but luckily not unbearable. Hopefully Mickey would find her something by the end of the day; she didn't relish walking around barefoot all the time.

A red-head caught Maya's eye as she passed the tables, giving her a smile before ducking her head and resuming her work.

The old woman didn't look up as they approached. "The hell you want, Wilkerson? Can't you see I'm busy?"

Mickey snorted. "You're always busy doin' somethin', Sarah. I brought two new helpers for ya."

That got the woman's attention, and she turned rheumy eyes towards the pair of them. She barely acknowledged Maya, zeroing in on Lily.

"Oh my poor dove," she crooned, abandoning her pot to sweep forward. "What have those brutes done to you?"

Lily squeaked as she was swept into a hug. She looked uncertainly towards Maya, who in turn glanced at Mickey. He just looked amused, crossing his arms, and Maya relaxed a fraction.

"I 'aint touched the girl, but you know what the likes 'round here would want from her."

The old woman bared the few teeth she had, and for the first time since she was captured, Maya smiled. This woman at least would help her keep Lily safe.

"Oh aye, I know what those  _dogs_ would want with a sweet lamb like this," she spat. She released Lily, taking her arm in hers. "But don't you worry. We'll look after you; keep you busy so 'aint no-one got time to bother you."

Mickey cleared his throat. "And this one. You can pamper the girl all you want, but you gotta find work for this one too."

This one. She might as well start wearing a collar and barking.

Sarah squinted towards Maya. "Hmph. Send her over to Kelly to clean the tables. That should keep her out o' trouble."

With that, the old woman trundled away with Lily under one arm, back to the pot.

Maya nearly yelped as Mickey suddenly grabbed her arm, dragging her up against him. To anyone looking, he was probably telling her to behave, and Maya tried to school her features into an appropriate fearful look.

"Grab me like that again, and I'll punch you in the goddamn dick," she hissed through clenched teeth.

"The girl'll be safe with Sarah," Mickey murmured lowly, ignoring her threat. "You just stay outta trouble and do what you're told. I'll be back for breakfast, but there'll be all sorts of folks about, so remember what I told ya."

He pushed her hair away from her shoulders, baring her throat. Temporarily forgetting she was supposed to be playing the role of helpless victim, Maya shoved at his chest.

"I remember," she ground, glancing around to make sure they weren't being watched. "I'll behave like a good little battered woman."

Mickey let her go and the hint of a smile on his mouth made her want to hit him.

"You're off to a bad start, then. Go on. The red-head. That's Kelly, and she'll show you what to do."

"Fine," Maya said, and after a second, begrudgingly admitted that maybe she owed him more than that. "And thanks for…just…thanks."

The smile was gone, and Mickey just nodded curtly to her, turning and striding off, back towards the house. Maya tried not to watch him, steeling herself as she approached the long wooden tables. A plump blonde woman with sad eyes was putting out bowls and spoons, keeping her head low as Maya passed.

The red-head, Kelly, beckoned her over with a friendly smile. "Hi there, don't be a stranger. Guess you're joining our little family."

Maya grimaced, rubbing her arm awkwardly. "Is that what they call it?"

The friendly smile faltered. "It's what I call it to get through the day."

Maya glanced along the tables. She could only see three other women, including the sad blonde. A dark-haired woman somewhere in her thirties, and a young brunette probably only just eighteen.

"I came here with two other women," she said quietly. "Have…have you seen them?"

Kelly turned her eyes back to the table, carefully setting out the cutlery. "No. I don't think you will either for a few more days at least."

"Days?" Maya's stomach plummeted, throat burning. "What…why?"

Kelly shrugged. "Have to be patched up by Doc and heal before they can work. I'm surprised you're even up and walking, but I suppose I've seen stranger things."

Her blue eyes flickered furtively to Maya's neck. "Heard what you did, offering yourself to save that girl. You just keep him too busy between your thighs to think about hers, yeah? It'll happen sooner or later, but she's so young…"

She shook herself. "Anyways. I'm Kelly. You're…?"

"Maya," Maya managed numbly, head spinning. "I'm…Maya."

That bright smile was back. "Maya, that's a nice name. How 'bout you help me set the table? Should go quicker with both of us."

Maya took the bowls and spoons offered to her, moving down the table and setting out the places in a daze.

"What about the men?" she asked, when she had finished the one table. "There were three of them-"

"I wouldn't think about them," Kelly replied cheerfully. "Better to put them from mind and concentrate on your work."

Unnerved, Maya did as she was told. Once the places were set, she followed Kelly back to Sarah, where Lily was stirring the huge pot of oatmeal. Smaller steaming pots had already been put out on the tables, and it would be Maya's duty to refill them when needed.

The dark haired woman and brunette were there, the blonde hovering near the tables.

Kelly introduced them as Janet and Crystal, and the blonde was Penny. Janet looked over Maya with a critical eye that in any other circumstance Maya would have bristled at.

"So  _that's_ what Mickey's into," she sniffed as if Maya was somehow a letdown. There was a hand-shaped bruise on Janet's jaw that was fading, but still stark against her pale skin. "Well at least we know he's not queer."

The young brunette, Crystal, huffed. "Don't be so goddamn pissy, Jan." She leaned towards Maya as if sharing a secret. "She's just mad 'cause she had her eye on him."

"I did not! He's far too bestial for my tastes."

"Yeah right, I saw you with Hairy Harry the other night! He's practically half-bear!"

Maya stared at the two women as they bickered. Anyone listening would just assume they were out for a friendly gossip, picking out men they liked and not actually forced into some sort of fucked up sexual servitude.

Kelly crossed her arms, shaking her head. "Don't mind them. It's just how they cope with how life is now."

Sarah made a rude noise over by Lily. "'Aint no  _copin'_ to be had, girl. We're slaves, and that's the end of it. Slaves at the whim of our masters, who happen to be the worst kind of men."

How had Maya not seen this when she had come here last, ready to drag Doc away to help Ed? Why hadn't the doctor said anything? Maybe…maybe she could have done something, warned someone…

"Does Doc know about this?" she asked. "Where is he?"

Sarah snorted. "Well he does now. Was always away treatin' folks so he's never been 'round to see much. But he was 'round last night and saw them bring your lot in. Didn't take too kindly to it, and Job didn't take too kindly to his whinin'."

"He's probably locked up in the basement," Janet offered, picking at her nails. "That's where they tend to put the troublemakers. Those women of yours are probably there too."

"But it's no concern of ours," Kelly said sharply, reprimanding. "'Aint our place to judge."

Lily whimpered. Crystal pulled herself away Janet, hurrying to the girl's side. "Oh don't cry hon, it's not so bad. Once you get used to it that is, and some of them are gentle enough."

One of the sentries yelled something, firing his gun. In the tree-line a zomb flopped down, rotting head obliterated.

"And there's worse out there," Kelly said grimly as the one sentry high-fived the other. "Much worse."

Maya disagreed. She'd rather deal with the zombs. Those, she knew what to do with.

The shot woke up the rest of the crew it seemed, because within twenty minutes the dining area was crawling with men. Lily wisely stayed with Sarah at the cooking pot, and Maya kept to the side, eyes staring down at her feet. Each woman was in charge of a table, keeping bowls and glasses full, and though some men had made grabs at the others, none had tried it on Maya.

Until one did.

Maya recognized him as one of the men who had launched the assault on the church, a heavy set man sporting a bristling beard on his cheeks but thin hair on his skull. When he reached out to pinch her thigh, Maya had to fight not to turn and break his arm in return.

"Looks like you had a rough night, sweetcheeks," he guffawed, grabbing her sore wrist and pulling her down into his lap. He reeked of body odor and cigarette smoke, and Maya struggled against him, twisting in his grasp.

"Let me go!" she snapped, and the men around them laughed. Oh how she wanted to hurt him. She knew all the best points to hit, where to aim and what to break. She could kill him in less than a minute but she  _couldn't._ They'd hurt Lily.

"Got a fire in 'er!" Someone shouted. "Better show 'er who-"

Maya didn't hear the rest of it, because the bearded man backhanded her, sending her careening against the opposite table. Bowls of porridge went flying, caking Maya's arms where she tried to stop her face from smacking against wood. She slumped to the floor, dazed.

Beardy laughed to the chorus of his friends. "Clumsy slut!"

Maya's head throbbed, her cheek smarting. A cruel hand grabbed a fistful of hair, dragging her up and against one dirt-stained leg. Maya struggled, planting her porridge covered hands on his thighs as he tried to force her face into his musky smelling crotch.

_Don't fight too hard,_ she yelled at herself, forcing herself to collapse limply against him.  _Let them underestimate you. If you bite the hand now, you won't get a chance at the throat later._

As the laughter built around her, Maya burned with shame and anger. There was nothing for it; she'd have to endure whatever this bastard wanted to do to her.

Her skin crawled as he pushed her nose into the seam of his jeans, the metal zipper biting into her lips. She held her breath, hoping that was all he was going to do, but his hand went to his button.

"Think I'll make you suck me off as an apology," Beardy announced. "Maybe that'll teach ya to be less clumsy."

Despite the voice yelling in her head, Maya gave one last effort to push on his thighs, straining to break his hold. He let her go, and surprised, Maya fell flat on her butt, gazing up at him through the mess of her now tangled hair.

Beardy stood stock still, frozen in place. There was a knife at his throat, pressed tight to the folds of his neck and as Maya watched, a bead of blood welled and spilled, running down the blade like a tear.

Mickey had his hand clamped on the back of the man's neck, threatening to push him down onto the blade. None of the men were laughing now.

"Now just what the hell do ya think you're doin, Jake?" he asked conversationally. "Playin' around?"

Jake gulped. "I was just…she was-"

Mickey bared his teeth, pressing the knife harder against Jake's quivering throat. The man whimpered.

"She's  _mine,_ fucker," Mickey hissed. "She's my goddamn property and you touched her."

Maya was too relieved to see him to feel offended at his words.

_Behold how the alpha male establishes dominance,_ Maya mused to herself, feeling a thrill of satisfaction as the man who had hit her trembled like a babe in the face of Mickey's anger. She kept her head down however, remembering Mickey's warnings.

"I'm…I'm sorry, Mickey. It won't happen again, I swear."

Maya was almost disappointed when he was released; the only damage a thin cut at his neck and a heavy blow to his pride.

"You're goddamn right it won't. Now you get down on your knees and apologize to the lady."

It was a humiliation tactic, Maya realized, as the men at the tables started jeering the friend they had cheered on only seconds before. Forcing a man to apologize to a  _lowly_  woman…how terribly embarrassing.

Rage curled hot and dark in Maya's belly. She had never hated a whole group of people before, but in that moment she  _hated_ all of these men. She wanted them dead.

"Mickey, man-"

"It weren't a request," Mickey smiled, but it was frightening thing to see. "On your knees _,_ boy."

There were hoots and catcalls as Jake got clumsily to his knees, his face red and eyes furious.

Under Mickey's watchful eye, he apologized, mostly to the floor. Maya said nothing, not trusting herself. If she opened her mouth now only anger would flood out, hot and damning.

Mickey snorted, the knife disappearing back into one of his pockets. "Alright. Get off the floor, you fuckin' asshole."

Jake was all too happy to obey, scrambling away and fleeing to a chorus of laughter and whistles. Mickey watched him go, turning and taking the spot at the table he had occupied. The men shifted respectfully to make room as one of the other women hurriedly brought him a bowl. Maya stayed unmoving on the floor, porridge cooling on her skin.

Finally, as if only noticing her again, Mickey snapped his fingers towards her.

"Get over here, gal. Warm my lap some."

The men chuckled, all watching as Maya slowly got to her feet, squelching through the overturned porridge. Impatiently, Mickey grabbed one messy arm, hauling her sideways onto his lap. The men laughed and Mickey smiled with them, but Maya could feel how tense he was, his thighs jerking beneath her. She found herself relaxing slightly at that, the reminder that this was an act.

"Jesus, I leave her alone for two seconds and already someone's tryin' to get a piece," Mickey grumbled, grabbing the dishcloth Penny offered him and rubbing down Maya's arms briskly. Maya kept her head bowed meekly, trying to look as pathetic as she could manage.

"Can you blame 'im?" Someone said, off to the right. "She's a fine piece of ass, Mickey. You 'aint gonna share 'er?"

Maya stiffened, and Mickey fixed whoever spoke with a glare. "I'd be a damn fool if I did. Lettin' all of ya stick your diseased cocks up in her."

Finished with her arms, Mickey tilted her head up, sweeping her hair away from her shoulders to deliberately show off the marks as he dabbed at her temple. She could feel eyes on her, but Maya kept her gaze on Mickey's jaw, ignoring them.

Mickey grimaced as if displeased. "Look at that. I kept her face pretty for a damn reason. Fuckin' asshole."

He pushed her away, slapping her ass for good measure as she stood shakily. Maya gritted her teeth, keeping her head down. "Go do somethin' useful. And stay outta goddamn trouble."

Maya was only too happy to obey, fleeing back towards Sarah and a shocked looking Lily, her pride stinging as badly as her face.

"Maya are you okay?" the girl whispered. She gasped, motioning to Maya's cheek. "Oh…your face…"

Maya smiled, but it pulled the throbbing side of her cheek. She touched it gingerly, feeling the edges of what was going to be a wicked bruise. "I'm fine, Lil. You just concentrate on that porridge."

She glanced at Sarah, and the old woman shook her head sadly. Maya sighed.

It was going to be a long, horrible, day.

* * *

 

No matter how she tried to weed out the information, none of the women would tell Maya what might become of the rest of her group. They urged her to forget her old life and accept the new, that it would serve her better and help Lily adjust. It made Maya sick, reminded her of some sort of cult mentality, and it probably wasn't far off from what was actually happening.

From what she could gather, Job had illusions of grandeur, building a group that would not only outlast the zombs but then would  _repopulate_ the barren town, with him as its kingpin _._ Despite being the older brother Mickey acted as Job's second, the intimidating muscle to enforce his brother's rule. The other women didn't seem to know much about him, just that the men avoided him and tried to stay on his good side, if he even had one.

Janet and Crystal competed with each other based on which men they were with. There was a scoring system, Crystal told her, helping Maya clear up breakfast. Low points for men who were runners, high points for more esteemed members of Job's crew, like right hand men or the Wilkersons themselves. First one pregnant by the highest scoring man won. Maya had decided to stop asking about it after that, not able to stomach the blasé way the two women treated the whole thing.

Penny was traumatized and never spoke to anyone, just went about her duties quietly but efficiently. The rest of her group had been killed, Janet told Maya, including her husband, and the woman had never recovered.

Sarah had lived in the town before zombies started rising. A retired school teacher, she was too old to garner much male interest, but she looked after the other women, gave out tasks to be done that day and kept the whole place running. Now she was also helping shield Lily from leering eyes, so despite how indifferently she treated Maya, Lily was at least safe.

Kelly was the closest to Maya's own age and was the one to answer most of Maya's questions. She didn't offer any insights into where she came from or how she came to be with the Wilkersons, just seemed to have an eternally cheerful outlook on her predicament . It was how she dealt with it Maya knew, but it still made her skin crawl. All of the women treated their lives as normal in their own ways, coping as well as they could. Maya could admire them for that, but resolved that she would never become one of them.

She had to get out, somehow. But there was no way she could just slip away under the cover of darkness and abandon all these women. She had contemplated it, studied the defenses surrounding the house and dining area and planned how she might do it. If travelling on her own, she  _may_ be able to get away, but with the amount of sentries and firepower Job had, it would have been difficult. Dragging Lily, her own group  _and_  the women made it impossible.

No, she needed to wait for the opportune moment. She had to trust that Mickey would be true to his word and help her, whatever that might entail.

But it was hard. As much as Maya convinced herself she needed to follow Mickey's advice and play docile, it rankled. She was a soldier, not a victim. She fought, or she died. That had been her creed for years, and suddenly having to turn her back on it, to try and find a middle ground just to stay alive…was difficult.

That afternoon found Maya helping Crystal scrub out the filthy outhouse. Maya tried to breathe through her nose during the disgusting task, keeping her breaths shallow. The sun was warm, beating down on both women and turning the small wooden shack into an oven. Lily was safely back with Sarah and Penny, helping prepare dinner. Maya had seen a pair of squirrels and a rabbit laid out on the table, and her own stomach gurgled at the thought of meat. She hadn't eaten a proper meal for close to two days now, though Sarah had offered her a few cool sips of water to ward off the midday heat.

Crystal was on her hands and knees, scrubbing the floor.

"So I gotta ask you something," the young woman suddenly said, dunking the brush into the pail of murky water Maya had gathered from the creek. The stream ran out behind the house, a source of clean water as long as the zombs stayed out of it. Maya had even seen fish in it when she had filled the bucket, and had to begrudgingly admit that as far as bases went, the Barrett House was set. It looked awful, but had all the resources necessary to sustain them.

Maya glanced up from her own task of sweeping the wooden steps leading up the outhouse. The brush she had been given was old, its bristles worn away, but she stubbornly kept on.

"What's that?"

Crystal slapped the now wet brush back down with a splat. "Before all this, before all the zombies and shit, what did you do?"

Maya glanced back down at the pile of dirt she had accumulated. "Army. But I was on vacation here when it…all went down."

Crystal huffed a laugh, throwing her whole body into cleaning. "Figures. I would have pegged you a cop or something. My sister was one. You both have a sorta…look about you."

"Yeah?" Maya swept her little pile of dust and dirt off the edge of the steps, scattering it into the grass.

Crystal shrugged, eyes still on her work. "The difference in the way you look at us, and how you look at  _them._ Protect the weak, punish the wicked or some kind of bullshit like that."

"Bullshit?" Maya leaned on her broom, frowning. "What's so bullshit about that? Men like this…they're no better than animals. We're  _people,_ Crystal. Not slaves or whatever it is we are to them."

Crystal paused in her scrubbing, laughing slightly. "My sister would have said the exact same thing. She would have stomped men like Job into the curb, rather die than let the likes of him do to her what he does to us."

There wasn't going to be a happy ending to this story, Maya knew. "What happened to her?"

"She died of course." Finished with her scrubbing, Crystal leaned back on her heels, finally looking at Maya. There were no tears in her eyes. "One of these men put a bullet between her eyes when she refused to drop her weapon and surrender."

Maya swallowed. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Crystal got to her feet, stretching her back. "I'm glad. She wouldn't have survived long here. But I have. I'm alive. There's a roof over my head, food in my belly and a hoard of men with guns between me and the dead _."_

Maya frowned. "This isn't safety. What they do-"

"The trouble with people like you," Crystal interrupted. "Is you're so goddamn stuck on rules, on what's right or wrong. You don't get that it's all  _gone_. There's no army, no police. No society. He may be a creep, but Job's got the right idea, building something  _new_. What's the point in just surviving? We need to build a life."

"I don't call this a life," Maya said quietly. "This isn't living."

Crystal sighed. "And that's why you'll die just like my sister. 'Cause people like you just don't get it. You don't know how lucky you are."

"Lucky?" Maya echoed incredulously. "What exactly is  _lucky_ about being forced into life as a slave for these assholes, cleaning and cooking and opening our legs whenever they snap their fingers? And God forbid, maybe even forced to have a  _baby_  you don't want?"

Crystal smiled like Maya was a particularly troublesome child. Crystal was younger than her for God's sake, but was making  _Maya_  feel like the young one. "Well then you get something of your very own to love. I'm not saying you have to  _like_ what they're doing, Maya. No-one  _likes_ it. But there's some good that can come from it, and a baby is one of them."

Aghast, Maya stared at the younger woman, words failing her.

"If Mickey gets a baby in you, you're set." Crystal dropped her brush into the bucket, water sloshing over the sides. "You'd be like the fucking Queen Mother. The best food, care, you name it, you'll have it. And if you have a son, maybe one day he would run his own crew."

"And be like Job?" Maya finally found her voice. "I'd rather-"

"Die?" Crystal finished dryly. "Then you will. By Job, by zombies, I dunno how, but you will. And where would that leave Lily? She's scared. You're the only thing she has right now."

"What do you want from me?" Maya hissed, fingers clenched hard around the broom handle. "I'm trying-"

"Try harder," Crystal's voice was sharp, scolding. "Don't think we haven't noticed you looking 'round. You're trying to plan an escape. And I'm telling you, stop. Stop fighting this and just  _accept_  it. You're alive, you're safe. This is as good as it's gonna get."

Maya bit down on the torrent of anger that threatened to spill out of her mouth. These women weren't like her, didn't know how powerful they could be. They would put up with a lifetime of abuse and hardship in order to feel safe, thought it was the easier alternative. Who was she to say they were wrong? Maya had never been anything than what she was. She had always been sure of herself, secure in her abilities and what she was doing. She didn't know what it was like to live in fear.

Crystal bent to pick up the bucket. "Look at Penny. She don't say much of anything and is skittish like a dog, but do you see anyone hit her? Try to force her? She eats better than the rest of us, and you know why?"

Maya had an idea, but shook her head.

"'Cause Job put a baby in her and now she's off limits. She keeps her head down, does what she's told, and no-one puts a hand on her."

Maya's heart sank. Poor Penny. Her group killed, her husband slaughtered only to-

"Why is it women always gotta gossip?"

Maya nearly dropped her broom in surprise, Crystal putting the bucket down with a clang, ducking her head respectfully.

Mickey strode towards them both, thumbs hooked into his belt like he was having an afternoon stroll.

"Remember what I said," Crystal hissed, and Maya swallowed, her stomach doing nervous flips. What if Crystal was right? If the other women had noticed how she wasn't strictly as downtrodden as she was supposed to be, who was to say Job hadn't noticed too?

Maya dropped her gaze to the ground, following Crystal's example. Her feet were still bare, the dry grass almost painful against the soles of her feet. Her toes were dirty, smudged with dirt and probably dried porridge.

"You done yet?" Mickey demanded, as aloof as royalty. Around here, he probably was.

Crystal nodded. "Yes, Sir. Is there something you need?"

"You could say that," Mickey drawled, leaning forward to grab Maya's wrist.

Maya yelped as his fingers curled around her raw skin, dropping the broom and planting a hand on his chest to break her momentum as she was crushed against him. She automatically tried to shy away from him as he bent to kiss her, but a firm hand on the back of her skull pushed her into it, his lips covering hers possessively.

Maya seized up, not moving as Mickey's beard scraped along her chin, his hand falling from her head to palm the swell of her ass instead.

He released her, curling his lip at Crystal who still stood nearby. "Go find somethin' else to do. I got business with the lady."

Crystal bobbed her head, collecting the dropped broom and bucket and starting off back towards the dining area. Mickey crowded Maya up against the rough wood of the outhouse, turning her so her face was pressed to the wall, her back to his chest.

"'M sorry but the men been talkin'," he murmured in her ear. "I gotta make a show of it to make 'em shut the hell up."

Maya gritted her teeth as he felt him undo his belt with over exaggerated movements. "And  _this_ is what you immediately thought of?"

Panic swelled in her chest, but she breathed deep, trying not to grimace at the stench wafting from beyond the closed door. Crystal's words still rang in her ears. Mickey was the only thing standing between Lily and everyone else, she needed to do what he said.

But Crystal had also been right. Doing something and liking it didn't go hand in hand. And Maya didn't appreciate being treated like a piece of meat to be pawed at.

She craned her face to glare at him, and over his shoulder she could see a group of men loitering around the porch, throwing looks their way.

"What should I do,  _Sir_?" she snapped unhappily, flinching as she felt him push his hips flush against her ass. He still had his jeans on and firmly zipped, but her face flushed at what they must look like to the men watching.

"Fight me a lil'," Mickey said, voice flat. "Make some noise."

A hot shard of rebellion rose in her then. "That, I can do."

Furiously, Maya jabbed her elbow backward, catching him in the gut. Surprised, he stumbled back and Maya turned, leaning her back against the shack wall like a cornered cat, prickly and unhappy.

"Thought you said you'd punch me in the dick if I grabbed you," Mickey muttered, rubbing the spot she had got him. "Not the goddamn solar plexus."

Over on the porch men were shouting and booing, seemingly enjoying the show. Maya shrugged one shoulder.

"I'm saving that for later. And gotta say, impressed you even know what a solar plexus  _is_."

She knew she couldn't show too much fight, but the tiny victory of landing even a jab made the whole incident that morning seem more tolerable. She wasn't helpless; she had the power to protect herself. She was just  _choosing_ to be vulnerable.

Yeah. She'd keep telling herself that until maybe one day she would believe it.

Mickey snorted, drawing to his full height and stepping up into her space, crowding her. He was bigger and stronger than her, but Maya knew there were other strengths than pure brawn.

"I was just gonna try n' make this easy," he said quietly, trapping Maya's wrists to the wall. She noticed he had placed his hands lower, avoiding the rope burns. "But the boys expect somethin'…better."

Maya tilted her chin defiantly, keeping her eyes on Mickey's face so she didn't have to look over at their audience. "Like?"

Mickey released her arms, hands going to his belt again. "Just do what I say and it'll be over quick."

Maya narrowed her eyes at him as Mickey pulled his belt free, feeding it back through the buckle and sliding it over Maya's offered wrists. "That sounds horrifically ominous, and if that was meant to calm me down or something, it was awful."

Mickey looped the ends of the belt around her arms, tucking it between her restrained hands. It was loose, Maya could easily wriggle out of it, but it gave the men on the porch the illusion of restraint.

"Never were much good at calmin' people," Mickey admitted, one hand resting heavy on Maya's waist.

Maya feigned shock as he pulled the loop of her restrained arms over his head, her bound hands resting at the back of his neck as if hugging him. "You don't say."

She yelped as Mickey suddenly lifted her, hands gripping the back of her thighs, and Maya had no choice but to clamp her legs around his hips to keep herself supported. In this position she was taller than him, and she could see out towards the house where men were now whistling and jeering. At least she couldn't see Job, which was some small comfort, she supposed.

Mickey at least had the sense to look apologetic as his fingers picked at her waistband. "I gotta…gotta make it look like I'm…"

"Raping me?" Maya finished for him, and the man flinched, dropping his gaze. "You know how fucked up this is right?"

She honestly didn't know what was in it for Mickey. He stomped around like some terrifying monster, growling and shouting, but here  _now_ , he looked at her sadly, his hands holding her as if she was spun glass. He could overpower her easily; just take her like the men thought he was doing. They expected it, encouraged it even, so why the deception? Didn't Mickey share his brother's views on rebuilding the town?

Maya sighed, head thudding against the wall.

"Fine. Just…get it over with."

She was wearing underwear at least, though Maya honestly didn't know how long she'd been wearing it. She wrinkled her nose at the thought as Mickey pulled down her yoga pants to mid-thigh, the fabric bunching as it caught on her knees on either side of Mickey's waist.

It was easier to think of this as some sort of game. That Mickey was a friend and they were just play-acting a parody of sex for their own amusement, not for the morbid curiosity of the audience hollering a few meters away.

She felt ridiculous. She felt degraded, and her face burned red with humiliation. She felt…goddammit she just  _hated_ this. To think, months ago Maya had been deployed on foreign sands, a gun in her hands and a squad at her back. None of the men here would have  _dared_ fuck with her then; she'd have crushed them beneath her dusty boots.

The first snap of Mickey's hips against hers was still a surprise no matter how prepared she thought she was, and Maya twisted, trying to escape. There was no-where to go though, only the wood at her back and Mickey at her front.

Mickey's hands were supporting her, warm as they held her thighs.

"Move 'round a bit, make it look like you're tryin' to get away," he grunted.

Maya made a show of writhing and scrabbling her fingers at Mickey's back, feeling like the worst porn star in history.

"So you do this often?" Maya managed between clenched teeth, trying to ignore how warm she felt every time Mickey's body made contact with hers. "Pretend-fuck girls?"

"Naw," Mickey replied, his breath coming a little harder. "Just you."

Maya snorted. "Why Mickey, am I your first? I'm fucking honored."

The shirt Mickey had given her was baggy, gaping in the neck to reveal a good deal of skin. Mickey bumped his nose against her collar bone, breath warm against her exposed skin as his hair tickled her nose.

Unlike the man who had grabbed her earlier, Mickey smelt clean, only the faint hint of sawdust in his hair. Maya arched her back, thighs already beginning to burn and wondered how this would feel if they'd been doing it willingly. Would he touch her the same way? Be rougher? She remembered the gentle press of his lips to hers in the darkness of his room compared to this…harder possession.

Which was the real Mickey? And did she even care?

"Now bite me."

Startled, Maya jerked her knee into his ribs, driving a gasp out of him.

"Jesus, this is just turning into the worst S&M porno I've ever had the misfortune to be a part of," she pulled back far enough to squint down at him. "You better not be getting off to this."

When he didn't answer her immediately, she jabbed him again with her other knee. Mickey grunted, glaring at her.

"Dammit woman, just fuckin' bite me so we can get this over with. I 'aint enjoyin' this any more than you."

_Then why do it?_ Maya wondered.  _Why are you trying so hard to convince everyone you're someone you're not?_

But Maya kept those questions to herself, bending to sink her face into his neck. She didn't need to strictly bite him, just the show of it would be enough, but she was feeling vindictive. Like he had with her last night, Maya chased the pulse she could feel beneath his skin, biting down hard when she found a spot she liked.

He tasted…warm. Slightly salty where the days sweat had begun to settle, but not nearly as unpleasant as Maya had expected.

Or hoped.

"Fuck!"

Mickey slammed her against the wall a little too hard, the men on the porch braying now, shouting encouragement as Mickey's ghost-thrusts became quicker.

As if shaken off, Maya pulled back, assessing her work.

"There," she smirked. "We match."

Mickey glowered at her. Maya did another show of writhing around as if trying to escape, kicking her legs and pretending to jerk on her restraints. It was a struggle not to burst out laughing at how ridiculous she felt.

"You're too goddamn good at this," she heard Mickey mutter, pressing his face up into her throat.

"What, being pretend-fucked?" She must have been woozy from the lack of food and the sun, because she was almost sure she was engaging in playful banter with Mickey Wilkerson. "What can I say; I'm a woman of many talents."

Maya jerked as she felt Mickey press his lips to one of the marks he had made on her neck.

"'M sorry it's gotta be this way," he murmured, and Maya almost couldn't hear him, her heart suddenly pounding where his lips touched skin. "But it's…it's just gotta."

Maya didn't reply, didn't know what to say.

_But of course,_ she thought bitterly.  _Got to mime out a rape to save us from_ _ **actual**_ _rape. Genius!_

Mickey pushed against her one last time, and apparently that was their performance over.

_No worse than some of my college hookups_ , Maya joked to herself to cover her feelings of embarrassment as Mickey released her, Maya's legs flopping back down to support her. Awkwardly, Mickey helped pull her clothes back into place.

"Somethin's goin' down soon," he said suddenly. "Somethin' big."

He pulled her arms over his head and back to her side, picking the belt free. Maya watched him carefully, nerves thrumming in her throat as her wrists were freed. "Something to do with my group?"

Mickey made a show of stepping back from her, miming the movements of tucking himself away and then doing up his belt. Done, he stepped back into her space, looming over her smaller form aggressively.

"Yeah," he sighed, and Maya could see the bone-weary fatigue in his eyes. "Way Job does it; those that resist joinin' our little group are good for nothin' but entertainment."

Maya gazed up at him fearfully, already having a good understanding for what types of entertainment Job enjoyed.

"The others," she whispered. "Please, there has to be something-"

"There 'aint nothin'," Mickey said sharply, and Maya cringed away from him, their previous banter gone. "I've already saved you and the girl, and that's the best I can do. Yours 'aint the first group Job set his eyes on and the boys just follow him like he's some goddamn messiah. We only got the few women 'ere 'cause they're the ones who wanted to live. The others…Job he…"

Mickey growled with frustration, bracketing his hands on the sun-warmed wood either side of Maya's head. "There's a chance Job'll spare some of 'em. He needs more men, and that Marcus fella is built like a linebacker. We could use 'im."

"And the women?" Maya prompted. "What about them?"

Mickey avoided her eyes, tracing the mark where Maya had been hit earlier. "The dark one, she's a goddamn hellcat. Job likes 'em fierce so he might…might not…"

_Kill them,_ Maya thought despairingly.  _Job is going to kill them, I have to stop him, I have to-_

Mickey hit the wood beside her head, startling her. "Don't you even think 'bout it. If you open your mouth and Job realizes you got more fight in ya, he'll expect me to set you right. Or worse, he'll think I 'aint got the stones and just do it 'imself."

His pale eyes were intense, willing her to understand. "Whatever happens, you gotta listen to me. I won't let anyone put hands on you or the girl, but that's all I can do. Understand? I can't save your friends, and I won't let you risk doin' somethin' stupid."

"Why?" Maya demanded with a fierce passion, startling them both. Anger flooded her veins, a fire fueled by the gaping hole of helplessness in her chest. "Why even protect us? What do you want, Mickey? You won't  _actually_ fuck me, won't help me save the others, so what's left?"

Mickey snarled down at her, matching her anger with his own. "You fuckin'  _want_  me to have my way with you? Maybe leave my brother to fuck you raw and bloody? No? Then keep your goddamn mouth shut and your head down like I told ya!"

He pushed away from her, straightening his shirt.

"I'll see you tonight," he said darkly. Spinning on his heel he left, leaving Maya bewildered and angry. Men shouted encouragement to him as Mickey stomped away, but he ignored them, a thundercloud practically rumbling over his head.

Maya shakily watched him go, hands curling into fists. She felt like she was stumbling on ice, and it was so thin she could hear it cracking beneath her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Swearing only really. Smut to come eventually, I do like a slow burn ;)

* * *

 

 

The sun was setting, lanterns being lit around the house and along the fences. What few zombs were drawn to the lights were quickly picked off by the heavy armed sentries patrolling the property borders, and luckily no specials seemed to be near.

Maya had kept busy all day, scrubbing floors, helping wash dirty clothes in the creek behind the house, and folding threadbare sheets. Her hands ached, her chafed wrists throbbing. There was an endless list of tasks, but for once Maya was grateful for the mind-numbing work. Her stomach was in knots, the light soup she was given for lunch sitting badly after the talk with Crystal and Mickey's public claiming. She dreaded the night, and watched the shadows lengthen with foreboding. What new hells were in store for her? What about the others? Were they okay? She had never felt so helpless before, so out of control.

She hated it.

Sarah kept Lily with her at all times, the old woman's temper was enough to keep anyone at bay, and for that, Maya felt reassured. She was run ragged and barely had enough time to keep track of herself, let alone where and what Lily was doing. She had tried to subtly keep assessing the house as well, where the weapons might be and any potential gaps in defenses she might be able to utilize. The women were constantly supervised by at least two sentries, armed with rifles. Most of the time they were scanning for zombies, so if Maya could just figure out some sort of plan, she might be able to do…something.

Maya sighed, focusing her attention back on the task at hand. She was scrubbing the tables clean, her fingers cramping from the work. Dinner would be served soon, but Maya didn't hold out much hope of getting any. Sarah hadn't offered her any food during the day, merely setting her to work every time she asked. It was only because Kelly snuck a bowl out for her that Maya had anything to eat for lunch at all. She had to wonder if the old woman was denying her food deliberately. Trying to weaken her resolve or something.

Her stomach rumbled unhappily, and Maya winced.

"Havin' fun?"

Mickey stepped out from the shadows as if he had been one of them. Like earlier he was unarmed, his token rifle missing from his back. Maya wondered what he had done with it, if he was deliberately not carrying it when around her. It was a smart move, really. Maya was the most likely to wrestle it off him and go on a shooting spree.

Mickey didn't reach out to grab her like he had been doing, merely standing and watching her as she scrubbed the wooden table within an inch of its inanimate life.

Maya snorted, setting aside her damp and grotty sponge. "Oh yeah, it's a barrel of laughs. So what graces me with your almighty presence? Time for another demonstration of your ownership over me?"

That afternoon still stung on her psyche. She understood the necessity of it, but the humiliation of it, of being considered  _beneath_ another person…it made her want to kill things. No men had approached her, so obviously Mickey's plan had worked, but a few leers were thrown her way and the women all looked at her with varying degrees of pity. Lily hadn't looked her straight in the eye all day.

"We 'aint got much time," Mickey said gruffly, derailing Maya's rant before she could even get started. "Follow me, and keep quiet."

Maya left her sponge on the table, clambering down onto her scuffed feet with a wince. "I hope you found some shoes then, because I- AH!"

With a growl, Mickey swept forward, picking her up and hoisting her into his arms. Maya glared at him, crossing her own arms stubbornly as he turned and carried her away, off into the shadows.

"I'm not some fainting maiden you can cart around," Maya snapped. "Just get me some damn shoes and I'll walk."

The sentries nodded to Mickey as he passed, but he barely gave them a glance. "Thought I said keep quiet."

Maya huffed but obeyed, trying to squash the nerves that arose as Mickey walked them deeper into the forest. Mickey had had plenty of opportunities to play her false so far, he wouldn't start now.

The darkness felt oppressive, trees pressing in on them from all sides. Maya listened intently for the tell-tale shuffles of zombs, but found the forest around them eerily quiet.

Mickey was quiet too, his face cast in shadow. His black beanie hat was back, probably to ward off the night chill and Maya was acutely aware of her own state of undress, her bare feet, the torn clothes. She looked like a street urchin, unkempt and dirty. And she was pretty sure she still had bits of porridge in her hair.

Eventually, a small shack rose out of the shadows, a bored looking sentry keeping watch in front of it with a dim lantern. The glow was welcome after the choking dark of the forest, but Maya felt uneasy. What was a shack like this doing out in the woods? What was it for?

The sentry flinched as Mickey stepped into the orange glow of his light, straightening nervously.

"Oh uh, Mickey, what-"

"I'm here to show 'em what happens when they don't cooperate," Mickey growled, jostling Maya in his arms. "So they 'aint gonna give us no trouble."

The sentry grinned, fishing in his pocket for a key. "Hell Mickey, you're a sick one. Don't put 'em off too much though, yeah? Want some fight in 'em."

Mickey snorted. "Go get some supper 'fore it's all gone. I'll watch 'em till you're back."

 _Well if that wasn't the easiest coup ever,_  Maya thought bitterly as she watched the sentry unlock the shed door, taking off running back to the house.  _I could kill Mickey and just run off right now._

It was almost tempting.

Mickey stooped to pick up the discarded lantern, pushing the shack door open and tromping inside. Maya's eyes watered at the close smell of body odor and fluids, shaking her head unhappily.

"Jesus, where the hell did you bring me-"

"Maya!"

Maya recognized that voice. She scrabbled out of Mickey's hold, knees jarring in dusty straw as he let her go. She stretched her arms into the shadows.

"Marcus!"

Her hands found him before the light of the lantern did, and she gasped, recoiling as light revealed the damage Marcus had endured during their captivity.

His eyes were puffy and black, half his face swollen and the other side mottled with purple. He held one arm protectively against his side, the other reaching out to touch Maya as if he couldn't believe she was really there.

"I…I can't see very well at the moment," he admitted, patting her arms. "But it looks worse than it is, I promise."

"Well that's a goddamn lie, 'cause it feels pretty awful to me," Ed piped up and Maya lunged to hug him as he shuffled forward. Both men had heavy chains around their ankles tied to a ring in the floor, but their arms were free.

"I was so worried," Maya said, voice cracking. She blinked furiously, releasing Ed. "Jacob…where's Jacob?"

Marcus sighed, the chains on his ankles clinking. "They took him away. We haven't seen him since they took all of you and threw us in here."

"We've been going plumb crazy in here!" Ed exclaimed. He looked slightly better than Marcus, but he too had been knocked around. "Are you okay? Where's Lil?"

"She's fine," Maya reassured him. "Nothing…nothing happened to her."

Both men relaxed visibly at that. Marcus sighed shakily. "That motherfucker didn't-"

"I 'aint no goddamn child molester," Mickey growled, startling all three. Maya had completely forgotten he was still there. "Now you hurry on up 'fore I change my mind 'bout lettin' ya say your piece."

He left, the shack door banging behind him. He had left the lantern at least, the pale light enough to see both men.

Marcus waved a hand in front of his eyes. "Didn't see him there," he joked nervously.

Ed was staring at Maya's neck soulfully, and too late she remembered the marks. "Jesus Maya, you look like a vampire went to town on ya."

Marcus bristled. "He touched you didn't he? That son-of-a-bitch. I'll kill him, I'll-"

"Listen to me," Maya said quickly, trying to head them off. She had a good idea of why Mickey had brought her here, and it was the only chance she had. "I don't know exactly what's going to happen, but I think Job wants to kill you both, as well as the others."

Ed pulled on his chains. "Well he kind of has the upper hand here, I gotta say."

Maya tugged on his leg sternly. "I need you both to listen to me.  _Carefully."_

"Of course, Maya," Marcus winced, shifting his legs. The chains rattled. "Give us the plan."

Maya took a deep breath. She knew what she was asking of them, but she honestly couldn't think of another way.

"The minute Job comes to talk to you; I want you to beg him to let you join his crew. Make up whatever story you want for your change of heart, but you  _have_ to convince him to spare you. Mickey said Job needs more men, and it would be stupid of him to waste your skills."

"No," Marcus said flatly. "I'd rather die."

"And you  _will_ ," Maya hissed, panic making her voice rise. She struggled to bring it back under control, swallowing the bile rising in her throat.

"If you can't do it for yourself, do it for me," she continued quietly. "For Lily. I can't protect her on my own; I need someone on the inside. If we're to have any chance of escaping, we need a plan. We need weapons. You think you're going to help us by being stuck in here? Or dead? Marcus, Ed, I  _need_ you. Please."

"Maya," Ed protested, his arms gesturing towards the door helplessly. "You want us to…grovel in front of those fucking  _monsters_ and beg to join the Wilkersons? Become one of those assholes who…hurt you?  _Shit_  I can't even say it."

He pointed at her neck. "Look at you! You look like a goddamn poster for domestic violence. I can't…I can't be chummy with men like that!"

"Maybe you don't understand," Maya ground, fire flashing in her eyes. "You either grovel, or you die. There is no reasoning with Job, no…working this out _._ We're prisoners and we don't have a lot of choices. You can't help anyone if you're six feet under. Tell him how he's too powerful, that you'll do anything to live, that you want to join his winning side of this war- just,  _anything._ I don't care what you say, just that you  _say it."_

She looked at them both. "I know what I'm asking you. I know it's the worst thing. But the rest of us are making those tough choices. To live. That's the most important thing right now."

Marcus looked unconvinced. "I don't-"

"You're good men," Maya interrupted. "I know that. You're worth more than this whole sorry crew put together, but being good men right now isn't going to help anyone. You do what you have to to survive this, just as I'm doing. Just like the others."

She felt dirty trying to guilt them, but it seemed to work, Ed hanging his head unhappily.

"We'll try, Maya," he said. "I don't know how but…we'll try."

The shack door swung open and Mickey was beckoning to her hurriedly. Maya got to her stinging feet, straw rustling. "That's all I ask. And if…if this all goes wrong I just…I want you to know I'm glad I met you both."

Marcus smiled tiredly. He was missing a few teeth. "We love you too, Maya."

"Yeah yeah, you're breakin' my heart," Mickey muttered, ushering Maya out of the shack before she could reply. "Now shut your mouth and if anyone asks I was in here fuckin' her brains out in front of ya."

He slammed the door on Marcus' outraged yell, just as Maya saw the sentry appearing from the tree-line. He had a paper plate in one hand, a beer in the other.

"Thanks, Mickey," he said happily as he jogged up. "Like a madhouse over there, everyone all riled up. Wouldn't 'a gotten no food for sure if you hadn't come along."

He peered over at Maya, and she ducked her head, staring at her feet. "You all done?"

"Yeah," Mickey grunted, dragging Maya over his shoulder like the first night. Maya resigned herself to being carted around like a sack of potatoes, letting him manhandle her into place. "Lock 'em up."

Maya watched the glow of the sentry's lamp disappear as Mickey's long legs retraced the path back to the house. Deeming the sentry far enough away, she rested her hand on the broad back beneath her, squeezing gently.

"Thank you," she said quietly. "At least I got to try."

She felt Mickey's shoulders heave in a sigh beneath her.

"If they can pull it off, Job'll let 'em join," he said. "Like I said, we need the men. He won't go easy on 'em though. They'll have to prove they wanna join, that they'll be loyal."

Maya shivered. "And what would that entail?"

"I dunno," Mickey said darkly. "But it 'aint gonna be nice."

They pushed through the last few trees and the brightly lit house welcomed them back. Maya marveled that it didn't attract more zombs than it did, wondered if the Wilkersons had traps set up in the forest and surrounding fields that might prevent it. A factor to take into consideration, she didn't want to fall into a spike lined trench in an escape attempt.

The dining area was packed with jostling bodies and loud talking. Mickey kept Maya on his shoulder, walking towards the cooking area where Sarah and Lily were stirring the stew. He set her down near the fire, warmth leeching back into her limbs. Maya stretched gratefully, her stiff knuckles cracking.

"Get her some food," Mickey ordered. "I 'aint gonna let her waste away to skin n' bones."

Sarah obeyed, ladling the brown broth into a bowl. Maya's mouth salivated at the meaty scent, her stomach dancing in her belly with anticipation.

"Job said you should limit 'er," Sarah warned as she handed the bowl to Lily, steam wafting from it. "Keep 'er weaker, won't kick off."

Lily wouldn't look at her, the girl staring at her feet as she put a spoon into the bowl, the utensil clanging against the side . Maya made a note to talk to her later if she could, reassure her that Maya was okay.

Mickey snarled at the older woman, and Maya was ashamed to feel a streak of vindictive triumph as Sarah cringed away.

"Is she Job's woman? Is Job the one who's gotta fuck her? No? Then do as I goddamn say! Feed her."

"Yes, Mickey," Sarah replied, and Lily stretched out the bowl to Maya, eyes still cast down. Maya took it, the warmth of the bowl feeling heavenly against her aching fingers.

Maya barely got a mouthful of the stew before Mickey was steering her away by the elbow.

"You'll eat with me," Mickey told her quietly, voice pitched low. "Jake's been mouthin' off 'bout you, so it's better this way. Just keep your head down and eat."

It took Maya a moment to place who Jake might be, but then she remembered bearded man from that morning.

Her face still throbbed slightly.

"What's he been saying?" Maya asked nervously as Mickey steered her towards one of the emptier tables. "I've kept my mouth shut all day-"

"He wants you for 'is own," Mickey grunted. He sat down at the end of the table where no other men were sat. A few curious glances were thrown his way, but everyone gave him a respectful berth. He guided Maya down to sit on his lap again, and Maya perched on his thigh awkwardly, bowl cradled in her hands. "He thinks I should be sharin' ya, and fancies 'imself just the person."

Suddenly Maya's appetite was gone. Janet brought over another bowl for Mickey, and he shifted Maya so she was sitting on one thigh, back pressed to his right shoulder with his arm hooked under her elbow and lying across the top of her thighs. He ate with his left hand, glaring at anyone who dared look at them, his right hand spread palm down on Maya's left thigh. Maya was reminded of a dog with its paw on a bone, possessive and growling.

Ducking her head, she shoveled the stew into her mouth, appetite returning as the food hit her stomach. It was bland, slightly gamy, but she ate it all the same. Despite the heat of the day the nights were cold, and dressed only in a t-shirt she welcomed the warmth of the stew.

They ate in silence, Mickey practically keeping watch as she finished her bowl. Men came and went, apparently moving around on schedules. No doubt Job had set up watches, and Maya occasionally looked up to try and see if she could recognize any of them. By her estimations, Job had about thirty men in his crew, give or take. She recognized about eight of them from the attack on the church, which probably meant that Job had around ten staple men he used for assaults on small groups. These were the ones in Job's inner circle, the ones she needed to watch out for, because they were obviously more battle trained.

The sentries tended to be younger men with keen eyesight, but to Maya they looked inexperienced, good at shooting but probably weak in close combat. She didn't know how many sentries Job had, but she estimated another ten just to round out.

That left a final ten for doing runs and miscellaneous tasks. The women took care of cooking and cleaning, so these would be men drafted for construction, or adept at moving quickly and carrying weight. Heavyweights maybe, strong men that would be good in close combat but weaker over long range. Made sense to keep them close to the house in case of a hoard making it up the road, where they could just go and bash them to death with melee weapons.

Then there was Job himself. Maya hadn't really seen him in combat, didn't know what style he preferred, or what weapon he used. Mickey was long range, a sniper, but a big enough man able to hold his own in a melee situation. Was Job the same? If so he posed a bigger threat than she had anticipated.

She'd need to start learning which of the men were what, in an escape attempt Maya would need to utilize every weakness she could. Bearded man, or Jake, was one of Job's thugs. Inner circle, trained in assaults and being a general asshole. He was more of an immediate threat than the others, a priority.

Maya relaxed as she let her mind plan, easily slipping back into her military training. Mickey squeezed her thigh lightly, leaning in close.

"Feel better?" he asked , his nose nudging against her ear. "Didn't know Sarah was pullin' that food bullshit on ya. I'll make sure she don't do it again."

Maya kept her face neutral; training her gaze on the wooden table as she mentally filed away her plans. "Much, thanks. Not exactly the Ritz, but it hit the spot."

Mickey huffed a laugh at that, his breath tickling her neck. Maya's nerves spasmed at the contact, sending shivers racing down her spine.

Across the tables there was a disagreement, a burly man getting to his feet with a bellow. He was broad and stocky, solid looking. He was staring down a smaller man, a wiry blonde with a permanent sneer.

"I'll fuckin' show you, you runt!" the big man shouted, cracking his knuckles. Others were getting out of the way, hurriedly moving their meals to other tables. It was a good thing too, because the next second the two were locked in a tussle, slamming against tables and chairs.

Mickey released Maya, giving her a gentle push off his lap. Maya went, picking up their empty bowls as she listened to the shouting and swearing across the barn. Mickey watched the fight with narrowed eyes.

"Get the girl and head on up to the room. Somethin's got the men's blood up and I'm not gonna risk havin' you two 'round. I'll be up in a second."

Maya nodded, more than happy to retreat and seek out Lily.

* * *

 

Lily followed Maya meekly, head down as Maya led the way back into the house and up the stairs. Maya side-eyed the weapon closet again, but could see the heavy padlock on the door. It was certainly big enough to contain Mickey's rifle, and she wondered at what other weapons were in there. Maybe her own.

God, she missed her rifle and axe.

Lily was still quiet as they reached the top of the stairs. Maya paused, turning to look at her.

"Lil, please. Look at me."

Lily didn't, still staring at her feet. Maya sighed.

"Come on, Lil. Please talk to me at least."

Lily swallowed, her hands picking nervously at her threadbare jeans. "It's all my fault."

Maya frowned, not understanding. "What is?"

Lily finally looked at her then, and the look of absolute guilt in her eyes staggered Maya. "You. Mickey. I…I saw you by the outhouse today, Sarah said I should look, so I understood."

Maya flushed, embarrassment heating her veins. "Lil-"

"It's my fault!" Lily continued, more sure. "If I wasn't so cowardly, if I wasn't… _me,_ you wouldn't have to…wouldn't have to do  _that._ I should be able to look after myself, I'm not a kid!"

Maya shook her head, stepping close to rest a comforting hand on Lily's shoulder. "Lil, no. It's not your fault. This…this would happen either way. To these men, it doesn't matter. You don't understand how  _glad_ I am that you've been spared. I swear Lil, you have nothing to feel guilty about, okay?"

Lily looked at the floor miserably. "He hurt you. I don't want them to hurt you, Maya. I don't want them to hurt any of us! I want my brother, I want Marcus and Ed I…I even want Sam, even though she always kind of scared me."

Maya smiled weakly. "Sam has that effect on people."

Lily lunged forward to hug her, wrapping around Maya like an octopus. "I want to go home."

Maya could hear Mickey's boot steps below, could feel how Lily tensed up as she heard them too. "Me too, Lil. But for now we…we have to make  _this_ our home."

Mickey was coming up the stairs now. Lily tightened her hold.

"Never," she said firmly, and Maya couldn't help but be proud of her. " _Never._ "

She pulled away as Mickey reached the top of the steps, going silent and bowing her head.

"How goes the fighting?" Maya asked as Mickey pushed by to unlock his door.

Mickey grunted. "When I left two more idiots had joined. I left 'em to it. Job'll sort 'em out."

The door swung open with a click.

Maya entered, Lily trailing close behind. It seemed during the day Mickey had been busy, a small battery powered lantern was now sitting on the chair, and Mickey switched it on, the small room filling with a weak yellow light.

There was a sleeping bag spread out against the wall of the room that hadn't been there before. Maya looked at it curiously, and Mickey motioned to it, looking at Lily.

"For you, girl," he rumbled. He jerked his chin towards the camping mat, kicking off his shoes, and Maya noticed two small piles of clothes, a very familiar pair of boots beside them. "I scrounged what I could. Couldn't get everythin' but…"

Lily shot forward, grabbing her pile. Just a few things that had obviously been taken from the church after their capture, but they were hers. A hoody, some jeans and tops. It wasn't hard to pick out her things, most were pale pastels and smaller than the clothes the other women wore.

Maya's pile was more generic. The only thing Maya had owned was what she had worn the day she met Marcus and Ed, so Mickey had obviously just gathered what he thought would fit her. The boots were a welcome sight though, as well as a few pairs of thick socks. Two flannel shirts were also buried in the pile, well-worn but clean. Maya fingered them thoughtfully, knowing that with colder nights closing in they would keep her warm. They were also undeniably Mickey's.

"Thank you," Maya said, because Lily wasn't going to. Mickey just grunted, watching them both as they claimed a part of the floor to set their things. Lily picked a spot close to the door, moving the sleeping bag so it was up against the wall and a good foot or two away from where Mickey slept.

There was no other sleeping bag, though Maya noticed a few new blankets stashed over by Mickey's boxes. Seemed she was still going to be sharing the camping mat. Despite doing it the night prior, the thought made her blush.

Did he expect something in return? A favor for a favor? He  _had_ helped her talk to Marcus and Ed, had even made sure she ate.

"Figure while you're stayin' 'ere, I should say a few things," Mickey grunted, and over in her corner, Lily burrowed into her new bedding, cringing.

Maya went to the camping mat, sitting down and crossing her legs. "We're listening."

Mickey glanced between the two of them. "At night, you don't leave here. If anyone catches ya wanderin' about, there'll be consequences, 'specially for the lil' one, yeah?"

Maya nodded. "Understood."

"So if you gotta use the bathroom, do it 'fore bed."

"We're not dogs," Lily spoke up from her corner, fierce. "You can't  _train_ us to go when you want us to!"

"Lily," Maya reprimanded her sharply, and the girl frowned, scooting back down into her bedding. Maya was proud the girl hadn't lost her fire, but Mickey wasn't the one she should be fighting.

Mickey snorted, undeterred. "Second, you can say what you want in 'ere, but out there, you don't say shit. Head down, only folks you talk to are the other women. 'Specially you, runt."

The last part was directed towards Lily, who just scowled at him. "My  _name_  is Lily."

"I'll call you whatever I damn well please," Mickey fired back. "And don't you forget it."

Without further ado, he started unbuttoning his shirt. "Last, we gotta live together in this shitty ass room. It's 'lil, and there 'aint no such thing as privacy. So you don't like somethin', tough. Close your eyes, sing a song, I don't give a shit, and I'll do the same."

Lily made a noise of disgust, throwing the hood of the sleeping bag over her head as Mickey stripped off his over shirt. Maya merely nodded slowly.

"Fair," she agreed. "What about bathing?"

The white shirt was next, leaving Mickey shirtless. Maya's face heated. He was broad-shouldered, tapering down into a waist with a flat stomach. Dark hair dusted his chest, lead down to below his belt, which he was currently undoing.

"Every other day the women go down t' the creek out back and wash." The belt slid free and Maya was feeling far too warm. "Sarah'll take you tomorrow if the weather holds."

His fingers went to undo the button next, and it was then Maya looked away, staring at the wall.

"Right. Okay."

She listened to him shuck off his jeans, kicking them away. Was…was he going to sleep naked? Did he expect her to?

She snuck another look. He had stripped down to a pair of boxers, but that seemed to be as far as he was going to go.

She wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed, and promptly hated herself.

Mickey motioned to her. "You gonna sleep like that?"

Maya glanced down at herself. She was still in the burrowed shirt, her usual yoga pants and a bra she had now worn for two days straight. It was uncomfortable, cutting into her shoulders and around her ribs. She'd prefer to sleep with it off but…if she was going to be sharing sleeping space with Mickey…

Fuck it. She'd been hit, had pretend-sex, and done more cleaning in one day than she'd ever done at boot camp. A little embarrassment over going braless shouldn't even factor in at this point.

Reaching behind herself under the shirt, she undid the clasp of her bra. Like all practiced women everywhere, she then pulled the straps down her shoulders, keeping the shirt on. Mickey watched, bemused as she freed the bra, tossing it towards her claimed spot.

"Can't say I've seen that done before," he remarked, padding towards her. Her pants were next, Maya shucking them off quickly. Even her thighs were bruised, small dark dots that if she looked at them closely, could have been fingerprints.

"I'm just full of surprises."

She made a note to check her pile for underwear in the morning. Over in her corner, Lily stubbornly didn't move, unwilling to get undressed and show any vulnerability. Maya couldn't exactly blame her.

Mickey turned the lantern off, stepping around Maya, and rearranging the mat slightly. He rustled in the dark, and Maya felt the brush of a blanket against her leg.

"Couldn't find any extra pillows," he muttered. "All the ones from your place were taken as spoils of war. Had to kick a few asses just to get a damn blanket."

Maya had wondered at that. Whether everything from the church would be taken, or if the people were all Job cared about.

Mickey settled down beside her, and Maya lay down on her side to find a comfortable position. The camping mat was small, designed for one person but they managed, Maya facing the room and Mickey at her back.

His breath stirred her hair. "Raise your head."

Maya obeyed, and Mickey moved his arm, sliding it under her head and urging her back down, her ear cushioned on his bicep.

"This'll have to do 'till I can get you somethin' else."

Maya thought to the pile of clothes and how that would work just as well. But Mickey's skin was warm beneath her cheek, and as he pulled her closer with his other arm, fingers barely brushing her stomach, Maya relaxed.

Bearded man couldn't hit her here. Job wouldn't look at her with those calculating eyes. Here, in Mickey's room, away from prying eyes and in the circle of his arms, she was safe.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, the new Dragon Age has taken over my life (so good). So have two chapters as an apology!

* * *

 

 

When Mickey gave them the rules, Maya had had every intention of following them. They were there to keep her and Lily safe, and Maya could understand their importance.

But as she lay awake, listening to Lily's girlish snores and Mickey's deep breaths against her back, all Maya could think of was the basement. Sleep wouldn't come, her mind whirling with thoughts of what might be down there. Janet had casually mentioned that it was there Sam and Maggie might be, maybe Jacob and Doc as well. They could be there right now, hurt, cold and hungry. Or worse, Job was down there with them.

Maya rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling. Mickey automatically curled into her, an arm slung across her belly. She should shove him away from her, should reject every touch of his skin against hers.

Yet…she didn't. It had been a long time since she had shared a bed with anyone, the army had made sure of that. It was comforting to have another body close to hers, and she hardly needed the extra blankets. Mickey was a man sized furnace, heat radiating from his pores.

She tried counting the cracks in the ceiling. She tried rhythmic breathing. She tried every trick she knew to get her mind to calm, for her body to relax.

It didn't work.

Instead her imagination got more and more vivid, and Maya grew even more agitated. What was Job doing to the women? What was he doing to  _Jacob?_ What sort of hellish nightmare was occurring right beneath her as she tried to sleep?

She needed to see them, to reassure herself that they were, at the very least,  _alive._

Maya knew it was an awful idea. She told herself that repeatedly as she wriggled out from under Mickey's arm, the man not stirring. He mumbled a little, but didn't wake. Maya moved off the camping mat on her hands and knees until she was safely away from Mickey, only then getting to her feet.

She debated pulling on her pants, but in the dark she worried she'd make too much noise so just went without, bare foot and bare legged.

Mickey had left the door unlocked, to her surprise. An oversight on his part, but lucky for Maya. She slipped out, treading lightly on the creaking floorboards. No-one was out on the landing, all the other doors shut. She knew one was Job's room but wasn't sure which; yet another piece of information she'd need to learn before any escape attempt.

She moved out into the open space, light on her feet. It was dark but she could still make out her surroundings, the dark shape of the bannister, a few moldy boxes haphazardly strewn around. If she heard even the hint of anyone she'd retreat back the way she came; Maya had no desire to run into anyone, especially if that someone was Job.

The stairs were tricky, prone to creaking alarmingly, but step by careful step Maya made it down with minimal noise. She paused, listening, but the house was still silent. The air was colder down here, and Maya shivered, rubbing her arms.

She knew the basement door was near the gutted kitchen, she had seen it, made a note of its location when Mickey had brought them downstairs that morning. Carefully she moved towards it, bypassing the weapons locker and pressing her ear to the wood.

No sounds came from beyond it, and slowly, she tried the handle.

Locked.

Maya sighed silently. Of course it was, it would be too easy if it was op-

The front door slammed open, cold air pouring into the house.

Quicker than she thought she could move, Maya practically leapt into the kitchen, looking around desperately for a hiding place. There was no-where obvious, and panicking, she clambered up onto one of the counters by the broken fridge, hoping that the darkness would hide her if nothing else. Two male voices were talking, grumbling to each other as they stomped in.

"-damn joke walkin' around in the dark freezin' my balls off."

"Ah shut it, Job promised we'd get a go with one o' the girls for it."

Heart hammering, Maya listened, trying to place the two voices. She didn't recognize them, so they must be two of Job's lower lackeys.

"Fat lot of good that is, 'aint you heard? Two of 'em are knocked up already."

_Two?_ Maya bit her lip to keep quiet. Crystal had told her about Penny, but who was the second?

"Who cares? I don't give a shit about that breedin' stuff Job yammers about. A man's got  _urges._ "

"You should. If you get a brat on one of 'em you're set. Maybe even get your own crew one day."

"Fuck that. How'd you even know if the little shit was yours? They get fucked by everyone."

"Naw naw, Job's got a  _system._ "

Maya listened, feeling sicker by the second. The two men were standing by the basement door, but not making any move to go in or leave. She was stuck where she was.

"The hell you mean a system?"

"You know, schedules n' shit. Only rotates 'em round if they don't get pregnant. Gotta earn a place though if you wanna try and knock one up, doin' runs or whatever."

"Damn. Then how come Mickey got two, the horny bastard?"

Maya held her breath, barely able to hear over the pounding of her heart. Her lungs felt too small, not sucking in enough air.

"Well one, he's a goddamn Wilkerson. Might as well be fuckin' royalty the way Job walks around."

"And two?"

"Have you  _seen_ 'im? He's fuckin' terrifyin'.  _You_ try tellin' him no if he wants somethin'."

Maya's lungs relaxed slightly, and she pulled in a deep breath gratefully. They still feared Mickey at least, that was good. If they were afraid of Mickey, the men would be less likely to try anything with the two women under his protection.

But this whole breeding thing…Crystal had said as much but having it confirmed like this… Just what the hell was Job doing? Using women like broodmares, developing a  _system?_ What the hell did that even mean?

The voices grew louder, and horrified, Maya realized they were moving into the kitchen. The faint glow beginning to spill into the kitchen signaled they had a lantern with them. They'd see her.

She pushed back as far against the wall as she could, pulling her legs up and hugging her knees. The tiles were cold against her back, goosebumps breaking out across her arms. An old abandoned spider web ticked her ear, but she forced herself to stay still.

A voice cut through the muttering men. "The fuck you two doin' gossipin' down 'ere?"

Maya's heart stuttered, and the light stopped at the door. Maya could see the beginning of the lantern, the curved glass that had entered the door.

"Just got back from gatherin' more pets for Job," one of them said nervously. "'Aint doin' nothin' bad, Mickey."

Mickey came down the stairs, footsteps heavy. Maya could sense his irritation even in her hiding place.

"Well you woke me the fuck up. Go natter somewhere else where folks 'aint tryin' to sleep.  _Now._ "

"Alright, alright," the lantern flooded the kitchen with light, a man stepping through the doorway. Maya didn't breathe. "We're goin'."

"Not that way, you fucktards, go out the front! Back door squeaks like hell."

There were grumbles, but the men obeyed, backing out of the doorway and going back out the way they came. Maya blinked in the darkness as she listened to the front door click shut, dots dancing in front of her eyes. Certain they were gone, Maya breathed out shakily, her legs flopping against the counter as she relaxed.

"Maya!" Mickey hissed, obviously aware she was somewhere. "Maya, goddammit you better be here or so help me-"

"I'm here," she replied, sliding down from her hiding place. Her feet were dusty as they hit the linoleum floor, and she grimaced. "I'm here, Mickey."

Mickey was still just in his boxers, his face furious as he ducked into the kitchen.

"You got a damn hearin' problem? Didn't I say not to leave the fuckin' room or-"

"What were they talking about?" she interrupted him, hands on her hips. "Job's running some sort of  _breeding_ program? The hell is that about?"

Mickey's hesitation in the face of her anger was answer enough.

"Jesus, Mickey you  _knew?_ Is that what this is? You want to fucking  _breed_  me? I'm a job well done for whatever shit you've done?"

Mickey took a threatening step towards her. "I'm not the only one who remembers you offerin' to do  _anythin'_ to save that girl. If you hadn't, you'd be like the rest out there, shoved around to different beds every week. You want that?"

Maya bared her teeth. "I want to know that I'm a goddamn person to you, and I want  _answers_  as to what the fuck is going on here!"

"I'm the only one 'ere who  _is_ treatin' you like a person!" Mickey growled, towering over her. Maya refused to be intimidated. "The fuck kind of question is that?"

"No," Maya snapped, daring to plant a hand on his chest and give him a shove. He barely moved but it made her feel better. "No, I'm just another prop, aren't I? Maya do this, Maya do that. Just lie still while I pretend-rape you, everything will be fine. On what planet is that treating me like a human being?! I might as well be a blow up doll, wait no, I'm pretty sure even  _they_ get treated better!"

Mickey stared down at her, brow furrowed. "You just don't get it. You don't have a goddamn clue."

Frustrated, Maya shoved him again. "Then explain it to me! I deserve to  _know_ , Mickey!"

"I ca-" Mickey's expression changed, startled as if he heard something. His whole demeanor switched in an instant, face twisting into a scowl. Raising his hand, he brought his open palm down hard on his own forearm, the meaty smack echoing around the small kitchen.

"Didn't I tell you to go 'fore bed you dumb bitch?" he growled at her, and as Maya gaped at him he grabbed her arm, giving her a shake.

"Wha-" Maya stuttered, caught off guard by his sudden change. Mickey walked her backwards, releasing her to smack his own forearm again.

"Don't you open your goddamn mouth!"

He seized her again, kicking a cupboard with his foot that made it sound like a scuffle, and Maya's brain finally caught up. Someone was listening.

Sure enough, a dark shape filled the kitchen doorway, a small flashlight clicking on.

Job's eerie face was illuminated, and Maya whimpered for real.

"Lovers spat in the kitchen?" Job asked, grinning.

Still holding her by the arm, Mickey turned, scowling. "The hell you want, Job? I'm busy."

"I can see that." Job stepped into the room, the light from the small flashlight almost blinding. Maya squinted, turning her face away.

Job sighed, shaking his head. "You couldn't have put some clothes on, Mickey?"

"She wanted the damn toilet," Mickey grumbled. "Was takin' 'er out."

"So I heard," Job circled them both. "How you enjoyin' my brother's hospitality,  _Maya_?"

Maya kept her mouth shut. Job was even more unpredictable than Mickey, and was the one who could really hurt her and Lily. So she stayed silent, shrinking away from him. That seemed to amuse Job, who stepped in closer. He trailed his hand along Maya's bare arm, the pads of his fingers tracing shapes along her skin. Maya cringed, crowding closer to Mickey.

"Y'know, you're lucky my brother took such a shinin' to ya," Job's eyes were just deep dark sockets in the flashlight's cast shadows. He touched her again, his hand at her hip this time, fingers darting beneath her shirt to massage the warm skin above her hipbone. Mickey's hand around her arm tightened.

Job grinned, dangerous and shark-like. "He 'aint as… _imaginative_  as I can be."

Job's fingers danced lower, plucking at the band of her underwear. "For example, I bet all Mickey's done to you is stick his cock in, thrust away and that was that. Bit borin', 'aint it?"

"Fuck you, Job," Mickey growled, pulling Maya against his chest, away from his brother. "Quit slobberin' all over her, this is my woman."

"For now," Job allowed, but he didn't pull back, gaze still boring into Maya.

Maya screeched, jerking her shoulder into Mickey's chest as Job's hand suddenly darted down, grabbing her hard between the legs. He rubbed her roughly through her underwear and Maya rose up on her tiptoes trying to get away, tears pricking the corners of her eyes at the sharp pain.

"Hands off!" Mickey snapped, physically hauling Maya away from Job quickly, planting himself between them. "You come in 'ere just to paw at her or you got somethin' to say?"

Job didn't look away from Maya, still smiling. Maya was going to have nightmares over that smile.

"She bred yet ya think?" Job asked, tapping his chin with a finger thoughtfully. "You been fuckin' her enough?"

Mickey had straightened to his full height, intimidating even in his state of undress. "The fuck should I know? Only been a day since I got her Job, Jesus."

Job finally looked at his brother, and Maya sagged with relief, leaning heavily against Mickey's back as his attention left her.

"Usually I 'aint a patient man," Job was saying, and Maya forced herself to listen. "If you were one o' the others I'd only give ya a week and that'd be that. But you're my blood Mickey, so I'll give ya longer. I'm givin' ya a month. If she 'aint bred by then I'll do it myself, or give her to one o' the others that's been waitin'. You hear me?"

Mickey crossed his arms. "What if I don't wanna give her up? Could be I fancy keepin' her."

Maya stiffened as Job laughed. "Well then I tell all the boys that you 'aint been screwin' that lil' girl like you were supposed to. Lots of 'em would be more than willin' to…oblige."

Mickey tensed even further and Maya held her breath. "The hell you talki-"

"Oh you know what I'm talkin' about," Job waved him away dismissively. "You always been too soft, Mickey. So here's what I'll do. You fuck a Wilkerson onto that one," Job tilted his chin towards Maya as she hid behind Mickey. "And I'll let you keep protectin' the smaller one 'till she's ready to have a babe of her own."

Mickey's hands had curled into fists at his sides. "I don't want-"

"It don't matter what you want," Job growled, eyes flashing. "This is the new world. We're gonna take over this godforsaken town and start it over, but with Eli gone our blood is  _thin,_ Mickey. We need family at our backs if we're gonna do this right. You think we're the only crew who's gonna try it? That's doin' it right now? Naw. We gotta  _prepare._ "

Job took a step away, the flashlight swinging and casting odd shadows against the walls. "So. Knock her up, or I take both of them. You got a month."

At the doorway he paused, looking back over at Maya as she peered around Mickey's bulk. "And it goes without sayin' that if you do anythin' stupid, I'll make your friends suffer. They're sufferin' enough as it is, you don't wanna give 'em  _more_ do ya? That one, the loud black one, she's havin' a hard time of it adjustin'. You don't wanna make it harder on her."

"Sam," Maya breathed, shaking. "What…what did you do to her?"

Job shrugged. "A little bit o' this, a little bit o' that. She's better off than that Ritter boy though. He has Eli to answer for, after all."

He winked, saluting the two of them. "You two have a good rest o' the night now, ya hear? I got a lady to see to."

He left, the kitchen plunging back into darkness. Maya stood there, shaking, skin still burning where Job had forcibly grabbed her.

Mickey cursed, turning. His hands hovered over her arms, just shy of touching as he peered down at her, worriedly.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked quietly. "Maya did he-"

"I'm fine," she said tonelessly. "I'm…shaken, but okay. Let's…let's get back to the room. I don't want to leave Lily alone for long."

Mickey stepped away from her, giving her space. "Alright."

Maya retraced her path back to the room, not bothering to keep quiet this time. Mickey followed, saying nothing.

The room was silent when they re-entered, Mickey shutting the door and locking it. Lily had rolled over onto her side, facing the wall, and Maya watched her sleep, trying to make sense of the thoughts panicking in her head.

Lily would need medicine eventually. Hopefully they had taken it from the church, and at least Doc was here to help, but she was still so vulnerable. Lily had strength of spirit yes, but physically she was like glass, prone to breaking if held to hard.

Maya had never asked for this, had never asked to be a stand-in parent, a protector of a lost teenager. But here she was, and Maya would do whatever she had to.  _I'll do anything,_ she had begged, only the day before. It felt like years away.  _Anything._

It was only just beginning to dawn on Maya what  _anything_ might actually be.

"Maya," Mickey murmured, and he did touch her this time, his hand gentle on her shoulder. "You need sleep. C'mon."

Maya allowed him to steer her back down onto the camp mat, grabbing a few of the extra blankets to pull over her. Maya rolled onto her back as he settled down beside her, staring up at the ceiling.

"What are we going to do?" she whispered. "Mickey I…I don't know how to get out of this."

She blinked, the ceiling distorting above her. "I thought I could come up with something, a plan to get us all out of this. But then Crystal talked about it…and now Job…there's really no way out, is there? This is it."

Mickey breathed out slowly. He was quiet for a while, and Maya panicked inside her own mind.

"Tell me somethin' happy."

Thoughts derailed, Maya turned her head to look at him. His face was close to hers, but she didn't feel crowded. His presence was weirdly comforting in a way. A reminder that she wasn't alone.

"What?"

"Somethin' happy," Mickey repeated patiently. "Tell me somethin' 'bout you, somethin' you 'aint told anyone, a story, just...anythin'."

Maya struggled to recall anything beyond despair. She cast her memory back, back beyond the dead rising, beyond war, back to a time where things were simple. For a while she couldn't think, then a random memory popped into existence, a calm eye in the middle of her mental storm.

"I uh…alright. The day Toby Domerick kissed me."

Mickey's knee nudged hers. "Your husband?"

Maya laughed, remembering to be quiet too late. She lowered her voice, glancing over at Lily. The girl hadn't moved. "I was eight. All the girls in my class wanted to be his girlfriend, but I had just transferred from another school, so I didn't know."

Mickey rolled closer, shoulder bumping against hers. "And?"

"And," Maya smiled a little at the memory. "At lunch, he kissed me."

"Lemmie guess," Mickey chuckled, and Maya could feel it reverberate in her own chest. She relaxed slightly. "You were swept off your little girly feet, and you lived happily ever after."

"Not really," Maya rolled so her body faced him, head propped up on her arm. "I kicked him in the shin and stole his pudding cups."

"You…" Mickey paused, and Maya tried to pick out his facial expression in the dark. "A little man kisses you and you beat 'im up to steal 'is puddin' cups?"

Maya nodded. "All four of them. Ate one in front of him and squirreled the others away for later."

"You were a goddamn bully," Mickey said, amused.

"I wouldn't go that far. I didn't want him to kiss me, didn't  _like_ him kissing me and told him as much. He then said I was a liar because all the girls wanted to kiss him, so I must too and tried it again.  _Then_ I kicked him and stole his dessert to teach him a lesson in not listening when a girl says no."

Mickey laughed again. "And the puddin' cups?"

"They were delicious," Maya grinned. "Tasted like victory."

"Dunno why I'm surprised," Mickey mused, and his knee bumped hers again as he shifted on the mat. "One of your happiest memories bein' one where you showed a man 'is place."

"And dessert," Maya added, her own stomach rumbling. "Oh man, I could eat about a dozen of those delicious little bastards right now."

"Still hungry?" Mickey sounded genuinely concerned. "I told Sarah to knock that shit off, but I'll try and get some cereal bars or somethin' for ya."

"Oh, you don't have to do that," Maya said quickly. "I'm fine. But you can get some for Lily. She gets weak sometimes. And Mickey, she'll need medicine soon, we had a fair amount stashed at the churc-"

"I got it," Mickey assured her. "Stop worryin' woman, I said I'll look after ya both and I meant it."

Maya sat up then with a frustrated sigh. "I know. I'm sorry, I know but…what Job said…"

Mickey grunted, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "I'll figure somethin' out."

Maya watched him, a thousand questions on her tongue. In the end she picked the most obvious to give voice to. "Mickey, why are you doing this?"

He dropped his arm, looking at her. "Doin' what?"

Maya gestured between them. "This. Us. Just…all of it. Why don't you agree with Job? If you did, this whole thing would be moot, you'd just force me to do what it is they think we're doing."

_Wow, eloquent, Torres._

Mickey looked uncomfortable. "Job's my brother. Was a time I woulda died for that bastard and done it with a smile on my face."

He went quiet, and Maya waited, not wanting to push him. Finally, he shook his head with a sigh.

"But what he's doin', it 'aint the way. You proved that when you came waltzin' up. You looked after your group, didn't give two shits 'bout walkin' into a crew of scary ass men to do it. You shot better than Job did, you killed better than he did. You took down one o' those fat fucks all on your own with a rifle and a axe."

He looked at her, eyes glittering in the dark. "You scare 'im."

Pieces of a puzzle started slotting into place in Maya's head.

"I was a threat," Maya said slowly. "My whole group was, threatening his plan of town domination. He knew we'd try and stop him if we found out. But he wouldn't have known if I hadn't….Jesus, he targeted the whole group because of me, didn't he?"

"He woulda hit you anyways, one day," Mickey said. "There are other crews out there we fight sometimes. Maybe they'd gotten ya first."

"But it was  _me,_ " Maya said helplessly. "I gave him the idea, I opened up the group to his fucked up plans. It should be  _me_ down there being tortured, not J- "

"Hush," Mickey sat up quickly, and Maya buried her face in her hands. "It 'aint no-one's fault, 'cept Job's."

Maya concentrated on breathing, deep breaths in, and slow breaths out. She couldn't lose it now, but the day was weighing on her. The talk with Crystal, Job, even Mickey…it was too much.

Mickey gently grasped her hands, pulling them away from her face. "You asked me why I'm doin' this. Reason is, you're a good person, Maya. You did right by my brother Eli when I couldn't. You looked after your group, and the minute shit went south, you stuck up for the girl, willin' to do anythin' to keep her safe."

She hadn't realized she was crying, Mickey cupping her jaw and rubbing her wet cheek with his thumb as he tilted her face to look at him. "You're a goddamn strong woman, Maya, and I respect the hell outta ya. That's why I'm doin' this, why I'm tryin' to save you and the girl. You deserve better than this, but it's all I can give."

_You're lucky,_ Crystal had said. Maya hadn't realized how right she actually was.

Because Maya  _was_ lucky _._ Lucky the right Wilkerson had chosen her and tried to treat her with as much dignity as he could allow. Mickey had been straight with her from the start.

Her hands shook, but she reached out to touch him, holding onto his arms like he was the calm in a storm and she a wayward ship.

"Tell me it'll all be okay," she whispered. "That somehow I'll make it through this the same Maya I started out as. I don't want to be like them. I don't want to treat this as if it's normal."

"It'll be okay," Mickey said, and she could almost believe him. "And you'll be the same Maya I watched hack down a zomb with an axe, the same woman who made a fried chicken joke usin' a Molotov on one o' them screamers."

Maya sniffled, managing a weak smile. "No-one's ever complimented my witty battle banter. I'm glad you remembered."

Mickey leaned in, kissing her forehead. It was meant as a gesture of comfort, but Maya flushed all the same, unsure of what to do in return.

"'Course. Now c'mon, you need sleep. And so do I."

Maya let him pull her down onto the camping mat, slotting himself against her back again. She counted the beats of his heart until she finally dozed off, her dreams uneasy and full of grasping hands.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Smut! Smut at last! More smut to come, these two just gotta work out some stuff first ;)

* * *

 

 

The next morning a storm raged.

Clouds with dark swollen bellies crowded the sky, the ominous rumblings of thunder echoing in the distance. The rain started lightly at first, enabling the women to get out and serve breakfast as usual, but by lunchtime it was torrential, sheets of rain pouring down and strong winds battering the creaking buildings. It was impossible to work in, so Lily and Maya found themselves trapped in the house, relegated to Mickey's room. The man himself had ordered them to stay put, then trudged outside into the gale to help with reinforcing the house and barn.

Maya had tried to peer outside, but the rain and dark sky made it near impossible, everything was just a grey blur. Even with the window shut she could smell the rain, the clean crisp scent of new beginnings, and wished it could just wash the whole house away, leaving only a bad memory.

"I hope they can't see out there," Lily said. The girl was curled up beside Maya, her sleeping bag draped over her shoulders. Maya had found a dog-eared book stowed away in Mickey's boxes and had been reading it out loud to pass the time. It was a trashy sci-fi, but it was lighthearted enough to keep them occupied. "Then maybe a zombie will get them and save us the trouble."

Maya couldn't exactly argue with that, but she couldn't wish that on Mickey. A Wilkerson he may be, but he was helping them, and Maya had seen his gentler side now, knew that there was more to him than the growling Wilkerson persona.

Her forehead tingled where he had kissed her the night before, and she rubbed it idly, setting the book down. "That's not a very nice thing to say, Lil."

Lily scowled at her. "They're not very nice people. You know that."

Maya's heart sank. Already Lily was starting to become angry and bitter. Maya couldn't blame her of course but it hurt to see the normally cheerful girl brought low.

"I do," she said grimly. "But I'm doing it because it keeps us alive."

"It's not your fault!" Lily hurried to say, snuggling closer against Maya's arm, her anger dissipating as quickly as it came. "I'm not…I'm not judging you, Maya. I understand how screwed up things are here and I'm scared but...you make me feel better. I just wish…"

She glanced up at the ceiling where the rain continued to thrum. "I just wish I could help you too. Say the word and I can smother Mickey in his sleep or something."

Maya went cold. "No, Lil. Don't…don't even think it."

"Why not?" Lily shifted so she could look at Maya straight on. "He's hurting you. He deserves to die."

Had life truly been that black and white when Maya had been Lily's age? Or was that just thanks to this new horrible world?

"Listen to me," Maya reached over to take Lily's hands in hers. Her fingers were cold, and Maya rubbed them with her own, massaging Lily's stiff knuckles. "Mickey is what stands between us, and them. We need him. So no talking about….killing him. Even if it's just me. Okay?"

Lily frowned at her, and Maya squeezed her hands.

"I mean it, Lil. Promise me."

"Fine," Lily rolled her eyes and Maya had to smile at the teenage action. "Fine, I promise. For  _now._ "

Maya chuckled, grabbing her around the shoulders and hugging her. "Stubborn brat."

Lily ducked her head with a smile. The storm raged on above them, wind battering at the rotting wood with screeching fingers. It was a miracle the drafty room wasn't leaking, still watertight somehow. Maya listened to the wind, wondering if the other women were safe and dry in the barn, or forced to find shelter outside

"Maya…do you know where my brother is?"

Maya glanced back over at Lily. The girl had pulled her knees up to her chest, arms wrapped around her knees. Maya wished she could give the teenager some good news. Job's words from the night before haunted her, but she couldn't let it show. Lily didn't need more fear and stress right now.

"No, Lil. I'm sorry." It wasn't exactly a lie, Maya wasn't sure Jacob was in the basement. "He's probably…probably just locked away somewhere until he agrees to join this crew."

"You mean tortured," Lily said quietly, hugging her knees even tighter. "I may be just a kid to you, Maya, but I'm not stupid. Job is going to blame Jacob for Eli dying."

"We don't know that," Maya said, and she almost believed her own words. Almost. "We just don't know, so there's no point in upsetting yourself. I'm sure…I'm sure he's okay. If he wasn't, Job would want us to know."

She bumped Lily's shoulder with her own. "No news is good news."

"I hope so," Lily sighed, leaning against Maya. "I really do."

Boots echoed on the stairs. Maya motioned for Lily to move, and she reluctantly moved back towards her sleeping spot, wrapping the sleeping bag even tighter around herself. There were raised voices, one of which was Mickey's. Maya strained to place the second, but before she could, the door clicked open and a very bedraggled Mickey stomped in.

He was soaked from head to toe, his hair plastered against his skull and leaving puddles in his wake. More quietly, Sarah trailed after him, the older woman looking slightly less wet.

"Maya, Lily," she acknowledged, smiling slightly. "Lovely weather ain't it?"

Maya looked curiously at Mickey, who just seemed to simmer unhappily, a steadily growing puddle at his feet.

"Sarah, what brings you to our comfy little corner?" Maya asked, Lily shifting from her sleeping bag excitedly.

"Managed to blag the kitchen for us women," Sarah said. "We're all gathered downstairs tellin' stories and drinkin' lukewarm tea while the men folk get wet. Wanna join?"

"Yes!" Lily was on her feet immediately. "Maya?"

Maya was still looking at Mickey, who just grunted noncommittally. "You go ahead Lil, I'll be along. Shout if there's any trouble, okay?"

Lily rolled her eyes already hurrying Sarah out the door. The girl hated being around Mickey, took any opportunity to avoid him. "Yeah, yeah,  _Mom._ "

Maya didn't miss the evil look Lily shot towards Mickey before the door closed, the two women's footsteps moving further and further away.

"Is it okay for her to be down there?" Maya asked, getting to her feet. Mickey turned and started rummaging through the nearest box for dry clothes.

"Job went out this mornin'," Mickey found a dry blue flannel and threw it onto the chair. "He's hunkered down in town somewhere 'till the storm passes."

_Far away. Good._

She felt a little awkward after her small breakdown the night before, but Mickey didn't mention it, pulling out a pair of threadbare jeans. He managed to spray water everywhere at the action, and grumbled unhappily to himself.

Maya stifled a chuckle. "Here, let me help."

Stooping she rescued the dry clothes, setting them aside and ushering Mickey down into the chair. There was a loud squelch as he sat, and Maya did laugh then, crouching down to unlace his boots. The laces were slippery, and it took her a few tries to undo them.

"You look like you took a dip in a lake," she smiled, pulling his boots off, then his socks. She grimaced at the wet cotton, wringing them. "I think I just saw a fish flopping around in your boot."

Mickey sighed, trying in vain to shake his hair out slightly. He looked like a dog, and Maya got a few fat drops of water to the face for her efforts.

"Feels like that's what I did. Slipped out behind the barn where there's a bit of a trench, went down and coulda drowned I swear."

A clap of thunder shook the house. Maya shook her head, leaning up on her knees to start unbuttoning his shirt. "Everything okay out there though? None of those big ones?"

"Naw, not yet," Mickey leaned forward to help her get him out of the shirt, grimacing at the wet fabric sticking to his skin. "Hard to see, but we picked off a few screamers this mornin'. If we're havin' as much trouble out there, hopefully those dead bastards are too."

"We can hope."

Mickey was shaking slightly, the cold temperature not helping with his drenched body. Maya frowned at him.

"You're paler than a ghost. If you're not careful you'll come down with something."

She cast around for a towel. The only thing she could spot was a dog-eared dish cloth, but she took that, offering it to Mickey who gratefully scrubbed his face.

"Bet the lil' one would love that," he muttered. "Seen her stink-eyein' me. Might get a knife in the back one o' these nights."

"She won't," Maya chuckled. "If anything she'd use a pillow to smother you, but I made her promise not to."

"Well that's damn comfortin'," he said wryly. "I'll be sleepin' like a babe."

Maya's smile faltered, her fingers hovering over the collar of his t-shirt. They hadn't talked about it, but Job's words still hung head over her head.

Mickey noticed and sighed, reaching up to take her hands in his. His skin was cold and damp, more like a zombie than a man.

"'M sorry," he rumbled. "My big mouth-"

"It's okay," Maya gave herself a shake. "It's something we need to talk about. Why not now?"

She tugged on the collar of Mickey's soaked t-shirt, and he took the hint, raising his arms so Maya could help pull the sodden clothing over his head.

"So Job wants a baby," Maya said, tossing the shirt towards the soaked flannel. It made a loud splat on the wood. "It's a long-term plan, I have to say. Who's to say we'll even be alive for the next twenty so years it takes to raise a kid? What's the end-goal there?"

Mickey rubbed his shoulders and chest down with the dish cloth. Maya kept her eyes on his face.

"Family is everythin', that's what our old man used to say. My mama's long dead, my old man a few years ago and now, Eli. Job wants to build the family up again."

Mickey snorted, rubbing his hair next. The brown strands stood up in spiky columns, and Maya reached out to smooth a few down.

"Dunno why, our family was fucked from the start and Job couldn't give two shits 'bout it. He'd be better off tryin' to make alliances with other groups. Got some big gangs formin' across the river and it 'aint gonna be long 'fore they cross and try to take what we got."

"But the men follow him," Maya said. "They seem to agree with him, so that's the way things are. No-one stands up to him."

Mickey looked at her then. "I know what you're thinkin'. Why don't I say somethin'? Kick up a fuss? But you heard 'im last night. I don't do what he says; he'll hurt the both of ya. Hell, he'll probably sick the men on me to serve as a warnin'."

"He wouldn't do that," Maya frowned as Mickey undid his belt. It was alarming how used she was getting to seeing Mickey undress. "You're his brother."

Mickey snorted, the belt clattering to the floor. "Could be that used to mean somethin' but now…now I dunno. Job wouldn't think twice 'bout throwin' me to the men if it meant savin' his own skin. And the men….they're like rabid dogs. If they weren't afraid o' me, I'd have nothin'. As it is I try and keep 'em in line best I can. If I didn't-"

"They'd run even wilder," Maya sighed. "I get it. We're both just as screwed as each other."

Mickey shucked his jeans down his thighs, Maya helping pull them down over his feet. The material was heavy, and she heaved it towards the other soaked clothes. They'd need to be dried properly at some point.

Mickey sat in front of her in only a thin pair of boxers, shivering. "Yeah. But I said I'll figure somethin' out, and I will. 'Aint no-one gonna force a babe on you, Maya. I swear."

Maya leaned back on her heels, regarding him. "You're serious about that."

"I'm serious 'bout all o' it," he snapped back. "I know you don't trust me none, and that's fine n' dandy but you gotta at least  _believe_ me on it."

He was so vulnerable right now, unclothed and shivering. She could put him down quickly, easily. Creep downstairs, take Lily and just run, use the rain to cover their tracks and hope they could make it far enough away that no-one would follow.

But Maya wouldn't. Couldn't. She had the others to think of, and now, she was beginning to consider Mickey one of them. Finally, she let her eyes trail down his chest, studying the droplets of moisture that clung to his skin.

Was it such a bad thing to encourage him? Mickey had been good to her so far, but interest could only go so far. What if he got bored of her and decided she wasn't worth the effort anymore?

She needed Mickey, she could admit that now. But he didn't need her. She had to  _make_ him need her.

Maya didn't have it in her to be disgusted at herself. Maybe Crystal was right, maybe Maya was so hung up on what was right and wrong that she was just making life harder for herself. And why? She was stuck in a horrible situation. Why shouldn't she try and make the best of it, make it easier on herself?

She remembered how it had felt to have Mickey touch her in the privacy of this very room, the warm strength of his arms and the press of his lips when no-one was looking. It had felt good, and damn if Maya needed to feel something  _good_ in all this chaos.

He wasn't Maya's age, probably in his late thirties, but he was handsome, well built. His body was fit, muscled; she had seen him with his shirt off enough times to know she liked the view. She even liked his beard, the rough feeling of it against her cheeks. It wouldn't be a hardship to be with him, now she knew how careful he could be with her.

Resolve bolstered, Maya got up, settling her hands on Mickey's cold shoulders. He must have read something in her face because he tensed up, eyes darting towards the door as if estimating how far away it was.

"What you doin?" he demanded, swallowing hard as Maya settled down onto his lap, legs astride him like the first night. "Maya, what you-"

She kissed him then, properly, for the first time. The kisses he had given her before were for show, claiming and marking, but this one she gave to him willingly, tracing the stern lines of his lips with her tongue. He gasped and Maya seized the opening, sinking herself into his mouth, leaning her body up against his. The cold seeped into her own clothes as his skin borrowed her warmth, and she felt him tentatively rest his hands on her hips as if unsure.

He pulled his head back, away from her searching touch. "Jesus woman, the fuck you think-"

"I'm warming you up," Maya said, grabbing his chin and forcing him to look back at her. "Plus I figure you got to have your claiming fun, so now let me have mine."

She swallowed his protests with her lips, aggressively exploring his mouth like it belonged to her. To her surprise, he let her, leaning back on the chair and letting her take what she wanted from him.

They kissed for a while, but Maya eventually grew impatient, skin buzzing and she growled at him, shifting her hips against his daringly.

"You just gonna sit there and take it, Wilkerson?" she asked, startled and amused at the stern authority in her tone. Grabbing one of his hands, she slid it under her shirt, pressing his cold palm against the warm skin of her stomach. "Or are you gonna show me some fight?"

Mickey's eyes darkened, and there was no mistaking the hard jut of his interest against her thigh.

"Don't rightly know what you're after 'ere." Without Maya's prompting his hand slid upwards, fingers trailing against her ribs, brushing the underside of her bra. "If anythin'. Maya we-"

"Less talking," Maya murmured against his cheek, biting lightly at his jaw. His beard was damp, the hair at his temples still dripping and daringly, she slicked it back with her hands, away from his face so she could kiss him without getting a mouthful of wet hair. "More touching. Make…make it good."

The echo of their first night was a memory she'd rather replace with something better. Something… _willing._ She pushed her chest into his questing hand, thrilling as his eyes went darker. It excited her, she realized, seeing how she affected him. And he wasn't taking,  _she_ was. She was in control here, not him.

It was far too powerful and heady a feeling. Maya reveled in it.

"Fine," Mickey said quietly, nose bumping against hers, beard smearing moisture along her cheeks. His voice was tight, but Maya was too caught up to take much notice, especially as he stood, supporting Maya's weight as he shuffled them away from the chair.

It wasn't far to the camping mat, Mickey tumbling them down so he covered her, his hips snug in the cradle of hers.

This wasn't pretend sex. Maya didn't know what it was, but he felt good against her. She could feel how much he wanted her, the hard press of him that sent bolts of liquid heat pooling in her belly every time he pushed against her. His hair dropped forward, hanging in wet straggles to caress Maya's face. She laughed, knowing that soon enough she'd end up looking just as drowned as Mickey.

A voice of reason kept tugging at her, tried to make her sit and think about this, but she squashed it down. Let her have this, just for a little while.

Her hands roamed his chest and shoulders, following the lines of muscles, pausing when she noticed the raised bump of a scar. He had a lot of them, and Maya mentally catalogued them to ask about later.

"Well congratu-fuckin-lations," Mickey groaned into her mouth, his hands fumbling under her shirt at the back of her bra. He had pulled her up, trying to hold her and work the bra at the same time and just growing frustrated. "Feel like I got lava for blood now. Happy? And  _fuck_ what are these damn things closed with, magic?"

Maya laughed, pushing him back to sit up properly as she reached back to help with her bra. Her face tingled from his beard, her skin humming beneath his fingers as he impatiently squeezed her hipbones. Bra free, she shrugged it off the same way she had the night before. She wasn't a shy woman, but to bare herself completely took more trust than she was willing to give at the moment, so she kept her shirt on. Mickey didn't comment on it, didn't attempt to pull her shirt away from her skin.

"Yes actually," she smiled. "And now you can thank me when you  _don't_  die of hypothermia."

She arched her spine with a gasp as he tugged her back towards him, one hand diving back beneath her shirt to cup her bare breast. His fingers were rough, calloused against her skin but they felt wonderful, Maya's nerves singing as he hefted the weight of her breast gently.

"Mm," he hummed. "Well if this is the cure for a damn cold, sign me up for multiple treatments, Doc _._ "

Maya wrinkled her nose. "And there goes the mood. Do you think about him a lot when kissing women?"

Mickey laughed, loud and genuine, ducking to kiss her again. Maya kissed him back fiercely, for a moment both of them fighting for dominance, the only noise in the room the dirty wet sounds of open mouthed kissing and breathing.

Mickey backed down first, letting her overpower him and push him down, Maya clambering on top of him triumphantly. She ground her hips down over his, deliberate and firm, and his hands flew to her hips, fingers digging into her skin as he bit down a groan, the muscles in his neck straining. Maya bent down to mouth at them, following the movement of his throat with her lips and teeth as she ground him into submission with her pelvis.

"Maya, darlin'," Mickey protested between pants, and the small fire in Maya's belly was suddenly stoked into a roaring flame. "What're we doin'? I'm gonna…what do you-"

"Just…just, touch me, please," Maya managed, her hands hovering above the waistband of his boxers. "Let me-"

Mickey growled, surging up to kiss her, toppling them over so Maya was the one on her back. She felt a mild surge of panic, but it was assuaged as he kissed along her jaw, gentle. His wet hair trailed across her temples, marking her with warm damp lines.

"You sure?" the vibrations of his voice rumbled against her. "I don't wanna…do somethin' you don't want."

She tugged on his hair, sliding her fingers against his scalp. "You won't."

Mickey didn't need telling twice. Palm flat on her belly, he slid his fingers down beneath the waistband of her yoga pants, the fabric giving around him as he pushed lower.

The first brush of his fingers against her sex was enough to send sparks fizzing along Maya's nerves and she whimpered, hips arching up towards him. Mickey looked wrecked over her, his eyes practically black and lips swollen from Maya's kisses. His hair was tugged out in all directions, and Maya keened as his fingers rubbed her, one hand clutching at his back and digging her nails into his skin.

"You're goddamn beautiful," Mickey said huskily, kissing her cheeks, her jaw, whatever he could reach as Maya writhed beneath him. "So beautiful."

Maya would have flushed more if she could. As it was her mouth fell open in a pleased gasp at the first nudge of his finger inside her, probing cautiously. She wanted him there, she wanted him inside, she wanted him  _inside_ what did this mean she was crazy what-

Mickey hissed, grinding his hips against her thigh. "You're so wet, god _damn._  You want me, Maya? Want me…to…"

Maya bared her teeth playfully. "You're one to talk about  _wet,_ Wilkerson-ah!"

All of Maya's thoughts went scattering as he pushed a finger inside her slowly, crooking his finger just so. She gasped, grabbing the back of his head and sealing their lips together. She mimicked the movement of the finger inside her with her tongue, pushing into the hot cavern of Mickey's mouth possessively.

"Yes," she finally managed when she broke away for air. "Yes I want-"

A second finger joined the first, and Maya couldn't stop the sounds spilling out of her as Mickey shallowly fucked her with them, the sensations too much. When had this ever felt so intimate? She couldn't remember. Even her casual flings with unmemorable strangers in army base bars hadn't felt this intense.

"Yeah," Mickey said roughly, his voice doing things to her. Her hips followed the movements of his hand, pushing down greedily every time he pulled away. " _Fuck,_ you're too, goddammit I-"

She was close. But Maya wasn't the only one in this rat race, and with a satisfied hum, she dropped a hand to splay over Mickey's belly. She could feel the muscles bunching and relaxing beneath her palm as he shallowly thrust against her thigh, seeking friction.

"You want something, Mickey?" she asked, and his hips stuttered against her. "You want me to touch you?"

Her breath hitched as he curled his fingers more, rubbing at the sensitive walls inside her. "You don't gotta-  _fuck!_ "

Maya shoved her hand down his boxers, curled her fingers around his hard length. He was painfully hard, and Maya felt a surge of pride that she had such an effect on him. He jerked in her grasp, jaw tensing as he stared down at her, panting.

"Don't you do it," he growled menacingly. In his current state, the intimidation was lacking and Maya just laughed, leaning up to kiss his chin. "I mean it, don't you even think-"

Maya moved her hand, sliding up and down him in a motion that had pleased her lovers in the past.

Mickey was no exception, doubling over with a groan like she had hurt him. The fingers inside Maya resumed their pleasant torture, but his movements were quicker, less focused.

It didn't take very long to have them both in a sweaty writhing state, neither willing to be the first to relinquish control.

"C'mon, Mickey," Maya jeered, working him faster, her thighs quivering as he continued to drag pleasure out of her with every movement of his hand. "Give it up."

Mickey's jaw was tense, his eyes flashing as he struggled to hold back. "Ladies first."

"Fuck you," Maya said playfully, biting lightly at his throat. Her mark from the day before was visible even in the grey light, and she traced it with her tongue, drawing grunts out of him.

"Godammit," Mickey said frustrated. "You-"

Maya bit down, slotting her teeth into the same imprint she had made previously. Mickey lost the fight with a long groan, his hips thrusting up into her hand once more before stilling, a flood of warmth dripping down Maya's hand.

His fingers thrust up into her  _hard_  and Maya lasted only a moment before her muscles seized too, spots dancing in her vision as she arched her back, mouth open in a silent shout. Mickey stroked her through it, only reluctantly slipping out of her when she shoved on his shoulder, hissing. He rolled onto his side, breathing hard.

"Jesus woman, give a man some warning," he grumbled, but his gaze was soft, his lips gentle as he ducked to kiss her shoulder. In all the moving and tugging the old t-shirt had slipped, her shoulder poking through the neck hole.

Maya peered over at him blearily, her body humming happily. "You were being stubborn. I just thought I'd…hurry the process along."

Mickey rolled, grabbing the discarded dish cloth and wiping himself down. Grabbing Maya's hand he cleaned her fingers one by one, not even embarrassed.

"And what  _was_ that?" he pressed a kiss to the inside of her wrist when he finished, beard tickling the sensitive skin. "You 'aint got to do that, I told ya-"

"I wanted to," Maya said quietly. It was true, she had made a conscious choice to do it, had taken control of something. "I'm not a victim, Mickey. I make my own choices."

His eyes were sad when he looked at her. "'Aint much of a choice is it?"

Maya frowned at him, sitting up. Her hair was tangled, and she shoved it out of her face angrily. "Don't look at me like that. If anyone was taking advantage here, it was me. I wanted this, Mickey."

Mickey threw the dishcloth. "Like hell you did. Like hell you'd ever let me put my hands on you willin'. Bullshit."

Thrown by his sudden mood change, Maya watched him get up, grabbing the dry clothes he had picked out.

"The hell is your problem?" she demanded, grimacing as he pulled the dry jeans on over his wet boxers, willing to face the discomfort than undress in front of her more apparently. "I'm telling you I wanted this and you're  _angry_?"

Mickey pulled the shirt on, shoving his feet into his boots without socks. "I'm checkin' on the barn."

Infuriated, Maya yanked her clothes back into place, getting to her feet. "So that's it? Just wham bam, no thank you m'am? That's pretty damn cold, even for a heartless bastard like you."

Mickey didn't even look at her. "Keep an eye on the girl."

And like that, he was gone, clomping away without even lacing up his boots. Maya followed him out, boards creaking under her bare feet as she stormed after him.

"Dammit Mickey there's a  _monsoon_ out there," Maya snapped, trying to catch up to him. Mickey clattered down the steps making enough noise to wake the proper dead, ignoring her. "Don't be an idiot, just…stop for a second and listen to me!"

Without a word Mickey threw the front door open, ducking his head and just barreling out into the downpour. Maya watched him go helplessly, the cold air sweeping in through the open door and chilling her to the bone.

"Mickey!" she called again, but the rain swallowed her words, Mickey's shape disappearing into its murky depths.

Cursing colorfully Maya slammed the door, breathing hard. She glared at the wood, trying to figure out just what the hell set him off.

"Maya?"

Lily stood in the kitchen doorway anxiously, shifting from foot to foot. Maya pushed away from the door, pasting a smile on her face.

"Hey there, Lil. Sorry, just uh…got caught up."

Kelly appeared at Lily's back, resting a hand on the girl's shoulder. "Go on Lil, Sarah made another thermos of tea. Go get some while it's hot."

Lily obeyed, but shot Maya another worried look. Maya sighed, rubbing her forehead as Kelly looked on sympathetically.

"Everything okay?"

"No," Maya groaned. "But I'll get over it."

She padded towards the other woman, forcing herself to smile. "So what's the gossip? Sarah mentioned story-telling and tea."

Kelly laughed. "Well this was kind of the best we could do. We're actually having an impromptu baby shower."

Maya's smile faltered. "Oh. Uh, congratulations are in order I guess. Who's the…lucky lady?"

"Ladies," Kelly corrected, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. "Penny, who's carrying a Wilkerson now, and…well, me."

"You?" Maya asked incredulously, gaze dropping to Kelly's flat tummy on instinct. "And…who's the proud dad?"

Kelly shrugged. "I don't know. Job doesn't keep as tight track of us women as he'd like. Could be any of four."

"Four?" Maya stared at her, aghast.

Kelly just nodded. She rubbed her stomach gently, lips curved in a smile that had Maya wanting to crawl out of her skin.

"But now I'll have something of my very own. Oh I hope you get to feel like this soon, Maya. It's…there's no describing it."

Maya could happily live her entire life without knowing, thank you. Especially if it meant she never got that same look on her face. Kelly looked spaced out, there but not, somewhere far away.

Unnerved, Maya pushed past into the kitchen. "Let's hope not for a while. Wouldn't want to steal your thunder."

The women sat in a circle in the center of the kitchen. Penny kept to herself, quietly sipping a mug of steaming tea as the others chatted around her. Maya chose the spot next to her, needing something quiet and stable.

Across the circle, Lily eyed her suspiciously. "What happened?"

Maya shrugged, taking the cup Janet offered her. "Mickey lost his temper. No surprise there."

The women made sympathetic noises.

"Always tough when you get a hot-wire like that one," Janet was saying. "Hair-trigger, I swear. That's how I got this bruise; guy I was with just went bonkers during the night. Didn't even say anything."

Crystal made an agreeing noise in her throat. "I had that once. Elbowed me right in the face."

"I hate them," Lily said viciously, everyone falling silent. "I hate them all, especially the Wilkersons. I hope they die."

Sarah clucked at her, throwing a wrinkled arm over the girl's shoulders. "I know, lamb. They're brutes is what they are, but we need 'em."

"Job's the reason we're still alive," Crystal chimed in, glancing at Penny. "We might not like him, but we do owe him."

They all looked at Maya.

"You have our sympathies," Janet said, like it was some huge fucking deal and Maya should care what they thought at all. "Having to deal with Mickey. Meanest one of them all."

_No he isn't,_ Maya thought as the women resumed their gossiping.  _And that's the problem._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Real life, bah. Anyways warnings: attempt at rape in this chapter, ye be warned. Now the holidays are over I'll try to update this more regularly!

* * *

 

 

Maya watched the rain droplets race each other down the window pane, only half-listening to the conversation behind her. Crystal had gotten a dog-eared pack of cards out from somewhere and the group had promptly settled in to teach Lily the finer points of poker.

"Ha, read 'em and weep!" Crystal crowed, smug in yet another victory. "Fork over all your imaginary wealth to me, your Queen Empress of cards."

Lily frowned at her own cards. "Guys I still have no idea what any of these even mean. Full house? Flush? How much is a three worth again?"

Crystal reached over to pat the girl on her knee. "It's a good thing you're so pretty, honey."

Janet leaned over to snatch one of Crystal's cards, holding it aloft accusingly. "And a good thing you're such a lousy _cheat,_ your lady empress!"

Maya tuned out the ensuring scuffle, narrowing her eyes back on the soaked view beyond the cracked glass. The storm showed no signs of abating, the winds only picking up more speed.  A loose shutter banged loudly somewhere, battering against the slats and Maya counted the beats, tapping her fingers along on the counter.

"Hey, Maya! Gonna join the next round?"

Maya didn't bother turning around, shaking her head. She knew she was being a party-pooper, that her mood was just as miserable as the weather outside, but she felt she was justified in some of it. How come she, the victim and prisoner here, was feeling like the bad guy? _Mickey_ had been the one to go all Neanderthal, and yet here she was feeling…guilty. Like she had hurt him in some way.

And that…didn't sit well with her. But God, wasn't she trying? She was _trying_ to find some way of living in this hell, to make things bearable. He could give her a break and be a little more understanding.

She watched blurry shapes move through the rain, sentries bent double in the wind as they hurried to their positions. She tugged Mickey's flannel shirt closer against her skin, thinking of Marcus and Ed out in the leaky shed, and hoped they were warm and safe

"Maya?"

At Lily's voice Maya dragged herself away from the window, forcing herself back towards the group. She felt years older all of a sudden, seeing them all sitting cross-legged, heads bent together as they compared cards. She hadn't known these women a week ago, and now here they were, an odd-ball family forced together under the worst circumstances. Another family Maya needed to protect.

"Yeah, Lil?"

The teenager looked pale, Maya noted. The past few days hadn't been easy on any of them, but it was easy to forget how ill Lily really was, how fragile she could be. 

"I…" Lily lowered her voice. "I need to use the ladies room."

Sarah chuckled. "You mean the mouldy outhouse? It's probably flooded, pet."

Lily looked stricken. "But I need to go!"

Janet got to her feet with a yawn. "C'mon squirt, I'll take you. There's a good tree we usually use out back, hopefully the branches have kept it a bit drier."

"A _tree?_ " Lily spluttered. "I can't use a tree!"

"Well you don't pee _on_ the tree, you pee around it!"

Maya stepped between Janet and Lily. "I'll take her. It's still raining cats and dogs out there."

Janet smiled easily, not deterred. "No offence, but it would look pretty suspicious don't you think? You're new. She's new. Making off into the trees is a recipe for disaster. She'll be perfectly safe with me, don't worry."

Maya wasn't convinced. "The sentries-"

"Won't give Janet any trouble," Sarah spoke up. "Lord, do you ever relax, gal?"

"No," Maya said bluntly, temper flaring. "Not since I got kidnapped by rape-crazy hillbillies."

"I'll go with Janet," Lily interrupted quickly as Sarah squared her shoulders. "I'll be okay, Maya. Five minutes tops."

Maya's protests died as she looked down at Lily's earnest expression. As much as Maya wanted to just wrap her arms around the girl and never let go, she couldn't. If she was going to keep her sanity, she needed to be able to trust these other women to help her keep Lily safe, not bark and snarl at everyone that offered to help.

Trust. Right.

Maya sighed. "Fine. Five minutes _only._ I'll come out there and drag your wet butt back here if you're late!"

Lily was already halfway out the door, Janet on her heels. "Roger that, el Capi-tan!"

Maya could feel the chill of the wind as it forced its way inside and she shuddered, rubbing her arms even as the door slammed shut on Lily's laugh.

Crystal snorted as she started dealing out cards again. "Baby Bear has us too, Mama Bear. She'll be fine."

Worry gnawed at her stomach and Maya turned away to resume her watch. "It's the Papa Bear I worry about."

She could see Lily's bright colored hoody through the rain, winking back at Maya as the girl ran for the cover of the trees, Janet close behind.

Kelly fanned out her cards in her hand, making a noise of annoyance. "Tell us about yourself, Maya."

Taken aback by the sudden question, Maya looked over at the woman curiously. "What?"

"She's military," Crystal offered, swapping a card. She chuckled, shaking her head. "Probably why she can't relax for five goddamn seconds."

Kelly's eyes widened, more interested in Maya now than her cards. "Military? You came in with those assholes who set up camp in town?"

"No," Maya said. "I was up here vacationing when…it all went down."

Sarah looked shrewd, tapping her cards against her chin thoughtfully. "Bet you know how to work a gun then."

"Might be," Maya evaded, uncomfortable. "But I don-"

The front door banged open, cold air shrieking into the kitchen and startling all of them. Penny flinched away, scrambling until her back was up against the counters as heavy boots and loud voices filled the house.

"-more ammo!" Maya heard Mickey's bellow over the commotion as the gun safe was open and emptied. "If those bastards think they're gonna shove in now, they got another thing comin'."

Men spilled into the kitchen, reloading and shoving ammo into pockets and bags. The women crowded against the counters, huddling together like a flock of frightened pigeons. Maya shoved through them, gaze sharpening on the familiar figure loading a duffle with molotovs. He was soaked, a red splatter across one thigh that hadn't been there before.

"Zombies?" she asked, not caring about portraying herself as cowed and demure. If there was trouble she needed to know what it was and how she could help.

Mickey straightened, scowling as he saw her in the kitchen doorway.

"Take everyone upstairs," he growled at her. "Bar the door and don't let anyone in 'cept me, yeah?"

Several men shoved past her, jostling her against the wall. "I will if you tell me what's happening."

Two strides and he was in front of her, dripping and glowering. He kept his voice low for the benefit of the men, and Maya tried to look suitably chastened. "I know you have a thing fer not listenin' to me, but Christ, Maya, will you just _do as I say_?"

Maya took in the grim faces of the men, how none of them cracked a joke or smile. It was unlike the unruly drunken bunch she was used to. "Not zombies. People. You said something about rival gangs-"

"Yeah and now you git your ass upstairs with the young 'un and the others," Mickey snapped. "Might be in for a firefight so keep your heads down and-"

"Mickey!" a man was waving furiously at the door. "They got cars, and just smashed through the fence up at the barn!"

"I gotta go, you-" Mickey paused as if there was something else he wanted to say, but shook his head with a dark growl. "Just git."

He turned and was swallowed up by the milling men, all pushing forward and out onto the porch with shouts and cocking guns. The door had barely shut before Maya was moving, striding back into the kitchen and towards the back door.

"Sarah, take the others and go up to Mickey's room," she ordered, shrugging on her old military ways as easily as donning a coat. "Bar the door until I come back with Lily and Janet."

"What's happening?" Kelly cried as Crystal hurriedly got to her feet, grabbing the woman's arm to help. "Maya what-"

"Just do it!" Maya yelled, tugging the door open. "I'll be back, just _go_!"

The wind tore at her as she stepped outside, the rain screaming gleefully at a new victim. The tails of Mickey's plaid shirt whipped around her waist and Maya braced her arm in front of her to block some of the gust.

She spared a thought for her boots still safe and dry in Mickey's room, but there wasn't time. The grass squelched as she walked, water and mud rising between her bare toes as she hurried across the lawn, zeroed in on the tree line. The sentries were yelling to each other, taking up more defensive positions along the sides of the house. None of them took any notice of her as she stepped into the trees, her hair plastered against her face and shirt clinging to her shoulders. Leaves and twigs jabbed into her soft feet and Maya winced.

"Lily!" she yelled, voice swallowed in the howl of the wind. She pushed further into the trees, looking for the tell-tale flash of color. "Lily!"

Nothing. Trying to calm the panic rising in her chest, Maya turned in a circle, senses on high alert. The trees rose tall and dark around her, jostling her with sodden branches.

_There!_ A voice, just for a moment.

With a growl Maya darted forward, all purpose. She ignored the pain in her unprotected feet, sweeping through the trees like a wrathful mother on the hunt for misbehaving toddlers.

"Janet, Lily, you-"

Maya rounded a large tree and stopped.

Janet lay in a dead sprawl on the forest floor, one arm twisted unnaturally and legs askew. Her lips were only just losing their pink, her dark hair hanging in straggles against her bare shoulders. Her shirt had been ripped, hanging down her arms as if destroyed in a struggle, her breasts exposed and pale in the rain. Even from her spot, Maya could see the red discoloration around Janet's neck, the fingerprint bruises that would blossom as she continued her silent vigil into eternity.

She'd been strangled.

Lily stood a little further away, back rammed up against a tree and forced up on her toes by a meaty hand on her throat. She was crying, choked gasps that shook Maya to the core as her fingers scrabbled at the arms of her assailant.

For a moment, Maya just stared. The man held Lily with one hand, the other fumbling with the front of his jeans. He forced a knee between Lily's thighs, and the girl wailed, a weedy and quiet thing.

"Think yer so uppity now, do ya?" he was muttering, giving the terrified girl a shake as he struggled to open his jeans. "Well I'll show ya. I'll show _him_ that bastard, makin' a fool outta me in fronta the men!"

_Jake,_ Maya's mind helpfully supplied. _It's that fucker, Jake._

Bearded man.

The forest fell away from her, replaced with a buzzing that matched the sudden throbbing behind her eyes. Maya's world narrowed in on the man's back, on Lily's breathless whimpers and pleas to let her go.

Maya had no weapon. She was barefoot, her body far from its peak, the days of work taking their toll, and the man was probably twice her weight. One direct hit from him could knock her out cold.

But it didn't matter. Nothing mattered, except getting him away from Lily.

And _killing him_.

She was on him before her brain could process it, hooking him around the neck with her right arm and pulling _hard._ He choked, torn away from his prize. He stumbled, his jeans falling down to mid thigh and nearly tripped. Lily slid down the tree to her knees, sucking in deep breaths. Quick as a cat Maya slid between the two, legs braced and arms up.

Jake's eyes flashed as he struggled to get his jeans back up into place.  "So. You want some too, huh? Must be my lucky day."

Maya didn't waste time speaking. Reasoning would not work on a man like him, and even if she had tried, Maya couldn't make her voice form anything other than promises of violence.

_Use it,_ she told herself, struggling to keep her mind cool and sharp. _Dammit it Torres, use your anger. Channel it. Take this fucker down and make sure he stays down._

Keeping Lily at her back, Maya bounced lightly on her feet, ignoring the twinge in her soles as rocks and twigs dug into her skin.

Jake guffawed as he took in her stance. His stained wife beater clung to his round flabby gut, and Maya bared her teeth as he took a step closer. "You think you can take me, bitch? You're stupider than you look, then."

"You ki-killed her!" Lily sobbed, voice hoarse. She clung to the tree, wet and shivering. Her hair had been pulled out of its usual pony tail, and there was a bruise forming on her cheek. "When…when J-J-Job gets b-back-"

"Job won't do shit," Jake spat, hands curled into meaty fists as he eyed Maya with a leer. "I'll say it was them others and who's gonna know? Now shut yer trap. I'll get to you in a bit."

Maya breathed out through her nose, and rushed him.

She went in low, jamming her shoulder into his gut and pushing, trying to get him down on the ground. If he went down she'd have a better chance of overpowering him, on his feet he could generate more power than her and was more of a threat.

Jake stumbled back, but stayed firm. The asshole was built like a brick house, and Maya darted beneath his arm as he swung at her, bringing her arms up to protect her ribs and shot back one of her own. She got him in the face, and quickly moved out of range as he yelled in pain.

"You bitch!" he roared, and when he spat again, Maya saw blood. "I'll fuckin-"

He charged her, quicker than she gave him credit for, and recognizing she wouldn't be able to move out of the way, Maya braced herself.

They collided, and though Maya landed an awkward blow to his chest, fingers wrenched at her shoulder, sending her flying into a tree. Pain exploded across her back as she hit it, and she grunted, flopping to the sodden forest floor.

"First I'll kill ya," Jake was saying, and Maya got to her feet, ignoring the spasms in her back. "Then I'll fuck your _corpse._ "

He swung at her, but Maya ducked under his arm, jamming her elbow as hard as she could into his unprotected stomach. He doubled over, coughing and she slammed her knee up into his face.

There was a satisfying crack as his nose broke.

Screaming he tackled her, bearing her down onto the wet leaves and Maya thrashed, trying to draw her knees up. He pinned her arms, muscles straining to contain her and sat heavily across her thighs, curling his lip.

"Oh you'll pay fer that," he gurgled, blood oozing down his lips and chin. Maya grimaced, turning her face away as hot blood spattered against her cheek. "You'll pay fer that but _goo-_ "

With a bark of annoyance, Maya slammed her forehead up and forward. Jake reared up at the last second, her head connecting with his mouth instead of the nose she had been aiming for, and sharp stabbing pain erupted at the contact.

Her shoulders hit the wet ground again, and she gasped, vision lurching.

_That hurt , oh God that hurt._

She couldn't tell if it was rain water streaming down her temples, or warm blood. She'd be lucky if she hadn't just given herself a concussion.

_Stupid, Torres. Very stupid._

" _Fuck!_ _"_ Jake screamed, and triumphantly Maya noticed she had knocked one or two teeth loose. Her victory was short lived though as with an inhuman bellow, Jake released her left wrist and muscles bunched like a pro boxer, he delivered a backhand to her already aching head.

* * *

 

It was absolute pandemonium. Three crippled cars had been driven through the fence, and were now abandoned, their smoking engines and lights drawing all sorts of freaks from the surrounding area. The fucking cowards had abandoned them, hoping that the zombs would do their dirty work for them.

Mickey stared out across the blood soaked field, jaw clenched and teeth grinding as he weighed up how many men he could spare.

"How many?" he snapped at the closest man. "They broke through here, over by the shed and-"

"That's it so far," someone said to his right. Goddammit, Mickey didn't know any of these men, too many new recruits Job had hauled in. "But we got one o' them heavies comin' in from the south."

" _Fuck_ ," Mickey spat. "Who we got on that one?"

"'Aint got no-one. Everyone's busy up here what with the walkers, and then-"

"Yeah yeah," Mickey interrupted, stomach sinking at the odds. Trust Job to go away for one fuckin' day and the whole place goes to shit without him. "And the bastards that did this? Where they at?"

The man shrugged, his rifle banging against his shoulder. "Took off. Only 'bout a dozen of 'em to begin with. Guess they was testin' us."

"Well I'm feeling pretty goddamn _tested!"_  Mickey fired as a zomb came ambling out from the bushes. The shot was good, the head exploding in a spray of red. "You lot stay here, try and clean up, get that fence fixed. If we're attractin' this much attention then Job'll have heard too. He'll come with the cavalry and then we'll regroup."

"Aye aye," a young kid saluted him and Mickey considered shooting him too. "Where you gon' go?"

"Help with that fat one, that's what. Now go do your fuckin' job!"

Men scattered, hurrying to obey. At least Mickey still had that. Past couple of days the men had been bickering and fighting, and Mickey had worried that the appearance of the extra women threatened some sort of mutiny. He could only protect Maya and Lily so far, he couldn't be everywhere.

Unhappily, he stormed back to the house. The rain made everything miserable. Already some guns had misfired, and visibility was shit. They'd lost three men, one to the initial gunfight, and two to zombs who had come in through the holes in the fence. Job would be pissed.

The house was quiet as he entered, and Mickey glowered at the peeling wallpaper, shaking himself like a dog to try and get some sort of dry. His boots squelched with each step and he grimaced, yanking open the gun cabinet door with more force than was necessary. There, hidden away at the back behind some ammo boxes, lay Maya's rifle and axe. He studied them contemplatively.

"Damn pea-shooter," he muttered. He turned, patting the gun at his back protectively. "Aint got nothin' on you baby, I swear."

Mickey's own rifle clicked in resentment. Still, that little pea-shooter and axe had taken down not one, but two of those big ones, and countless zombs. Grumbling unhappily, Mickey leaned into the cool dark recesses of the cabinet, and snagged both weapons.

The axe was surprisingly light. He hefted it, testing the feel of it, looping the rifle onto his arm with his.

"Don't make me regret this," he sighed, kicking the cabinet shut. "But Maya darlin', we need your sharp eyes."

Job was going to murder him. Not only had Mickey lost men, but he was about to give a weapon to Maya Torres, one of the best marksmen in the valley.

She just might kill him. Mickey thought he was alright with that.

He took the stairs two at a time.

He was a bad man, that much was fucking obvious. He was no better than his brother, rutting against women who couldn't say no. The hell kind of man was he? He had told her he would protect her, not…not…

_Her skin was so warm beneath his hands, his work roughed callouses following her curves. He felt rough next to her, too coarse and mean. Like that movie Eli was so obsessed with as a tot, some sorta monster in love with a princess. But she didn't kiss him like he was awful, didn't cry and try and get away like Job's lays. But what choice did she have? Beneath those little moans and gasps she hated him, course she did. He was a Wilkerson and thinking anything else was stupid. Ridiculous. She couldn't like him, not like he liked her-_

Mickey nearly walked face first into his own bedroom door. Ruthlessly he shook himself, trying to get his mind on track. He could mope and whine around later like some twitterpated fool, right now killing needed to be done.

"Maya!" he yelled."Woman get your ass out here, we gotta problem an-"

The door swung open, and Sarah hovered there, pale and anxious. Her white hair had come free of the long braid she normally had, making her look frazzled, terrified.

"She 'aint come back," the old woman blurted. "She went after the gals and…and she-"

Pain shot up his arm, and Mickey dully realized he had been squeezing the axe until his fingers creaked. "What?"

"Lily needed the toilet, so Janet took her," Crystal bumped Sarah out of the way. "Maya went to get them and said she'd be back but she's not. Might have made a run for it."

"In this weather?" Sarah asked incredulously, shouldering Crystal back into the room. "It's idiotic, even for that gal. She's got a sharper brain than that. She must've-"

_Zombs,_ Mickey thought with rising horror. _Shit they musta let 'em in round the back too, could be dozens of 'em.._

"Stay!" he barked at the cowering women. "Don't open the door 'till I get back."

He hurried back down the stairs, not seeing anything in his path.

_Maybe she did run for it,_ he thought bitterly. _She oughta, get as far away from this shithole as she can._

The thought didn't bring him any joy, and Mickey hated himself even more for it.

* * *

 

Someone was screaming.

Maya grunted at the sound, annoyed. She tried to bring her hands up to cover her ears but her movements were sluggish, uncoordinated. Her arms flopped around listlessly and Maya tried to open her eyes, confused.

Pain lanced through her skull and she groaned, her jaw throbbing.

"Back with us, huh bitch?"

A voice was speaking over her, full of malice. Maya struggled to open her eyes, to get them to focus. There was a hand groping at her chest, squeezing and pinching, but Maya could barely feel it over the pain in her head.

Finally, she blinked and a face swam into view. She couldn't remember who it was, couldn't remember why she was lying on a sodden carpet of leaves and twigs, or why there was a girl screaming.

Her shirt was gone, the plaid lying in a torn sodden pile in the mud. Maya's head lolled and she could see a woman slumped to her right as if sleeping.

_Janet._ Yes, that was Janet. Maya knew that name, knew that woman. Was she having a nap? Why was she doing that? There was something moving in the forest, just beyond what Maya could see, branches swaying.

Groggily Maya rolled her head back towards the man pawing at her chest, trying to peer down at her own body.

Her breasts glistened obscenely in the rain, peppered with red marks. As she watched, the man clamped down on her left, mouthing at her and biting down with his broken teeth, _hard._

Her body convulsed automatically, but Maya barely felt it.

_He bit me,_ Maya thought to herself, still struggling to connect her brain to her body. _That sonofabitch bit me. What…what's happening?_

"I'm gonna show you what we do to misbehaving bitches," he was saying, and he was yanking on his jeans now, rutting his hips against her limp body in his eagerness. Revulsion rose in Maya's throat, an emotion strong enough to force through the cotton in her head, but not enough to snap her lucid.

"Gonna fuck you," he muttered, struggling to get her pants off now, rolling her where he wanted her. "Damn Mickey for thinkin' he could have you all to hisself. Well he 'aint gonna want you after I'm done, that's for damn sure."

_Mickey._ She knew that name. Her confused brain brought up a man's face, bearded and stern. The man on top of her wasn't Mickey. It wasn't Mickey's hands trying to slide her sodden pants down her thighs, his fingers punishing as he pinched at her skin.

This wasn't Mickey. The thought angered her but she didn't know why.

Maya's head rolled back towards Janet, wondering if she knew why. Maya blinked.

There was a woman on Janet.

The sight was so alien that Maya had trouble reasoning _why_ there was a woman on Janet. Why was Janet not pushing her off? And who was that? Did Maya know her?

The screams were growing hoarser. Who was that? Was that Janet?

"Maya," a girl sobbed. "Maya _please-_ "

_Lily._

Awareness ripped through Maya like a tangible thing. The woman on Janet raised her head and Maya remembered, _she remembered._

The zomb had heard Lily too. It had no throat, just a wet gaping mess of shredded muscle and sinew. It was missing a lower jaw, it's swollen black tongue slapping wetly against it's ruined skin. It had been mouthing ineffectively at Janet's shoulder, only managing to rip off a small chunk with it's mangled mouth, and Maya could see the gleam in its dead milky eyes as it spotted them. Janet was a cooling corpse, and the zomb much preferred moving, wriggling meat.

Jake was still thrusting against her thigh, and Maya gagged as she felt the heavy weight of his erection trail against her skin. He was trying to force a finger inside her but Maya clamped her thighs shut, forcing him to raise up on his knees to try and pry her open.

"Yeah, fight me," he growled, forcing her thighs apart. Her hips twinged with pain as he held her legs down. He was poised, ready to rape her, and the damn zombie was too slow, still shuffling towards them no faster than a geriatric.

Maya summoned what little strength she had. Jake lowered his body on top of hers, chest crushing against hers, erection jabbing against the back of her thigh as he tried to enter her.

"I will," Maya croaked, and Jake looked surprised, like he had forgotten she was still there, not just a warm body. It was a mistake he would regret.

Maya lunged, head spinning, rain and blood stinging her eyes. Her aim was true though, and she snapped her jaw shut as hard as she could, Jake's broken nose clamped between her teeth.

He shrieked like a banshee, releasing her and rearing back as if that would separate them. Maya stayed firm, locking her jaw and worrying back and forth like she had seen dogs do. Blood flooded her mouth, hot and salty, and Jake's screaming rivaled Lily's.

The tension was gone, and Maya flopped back to the sodden ground. Jake was screaming, clutching his face and stumbling off her and Maya watched him go dazedly. Belatedly she realized there was something in her mouth and she rolled to the side, spitting and retching.

A mangled human nose swam into view in front of her, and Maya vomited, dragging her aching body up onto all fours.

Jake was yelling, stumbling and swaying like a drunk. The zomb closed in on him.

Shaking hands touched Maya's shoulders, helping her up.

"We have to go," Lily's terrified face was difficult to focus on but Maya tried, tried to ignore the blackness on the edges of her vision. "There're more, Maya. More coming."

"The house," Maya managed. Lily slung Maya's arm across her slender shoulders and Maya leaned into her smaller body, trying to ignore how Jake's screaming was now a terrified gurgle.

Together, both women stumbled through the forest.

Maya's legs felt heavy, her feet dragging. She looked down at herself, making a face.

"I'm naked," she announced. That wasn't normal, surely? She couldn't feel her legs, a numb blanket of static wrapping around her head. "And…and dirty."

Lily said nothing, merely tightening her hold around Maya's waist.

Miraculously they went the right way, the trees thinning. Maya made it out of the trees but then her legs gave out, her knees sinking into the water-logged grass.

"Maya!"

Maya slumped, feeling ridiculously tired. The rain felt good against her pounding head, the tightness of her skin. Lily's hands tugged insistently on Maya's shoulders but she couldn't budge the older woman.

A man's voice rose over the rain, and Maya looked up absently, hoping it wasn't that nasty naked man. She hadn't liked him. What was a naked man doing in the woods anyways?

It wasn't naked man. A different man was running towards them, boots sending up sprays of water. He had been carrying two guns and something shiny, but he dropped it all on his mad dash as if it would lend him more speed.

"Mickey!" Lily cried out, and she reached for him like a lost child, shuddering and crying.

_Mickey, yes._ Maya remembered that name. That was good. Mickey was good.

He skidded into them, boots slipping on the mud. Lily was babbling, eyes red and face twisted in fear as she clung to Mickey's shoulder, but Maya couldn't keep up with all the words.

Maya was enveloped in Mickey's arms, pulled into his body. She tilted her head up at him, pain pounding at her temples. Something warm and wet stung her eye, oozing slowly down the side of her face.

She tried to say his name, but it came out all slurred. He was speaking, looking at her with an expression so stricken, it scared her.

What had happened? Was everyone okay? Was Lily-

"Lily," she tried to look for the young girl, but she couldn't move her head. "Li-"

Her tongue felt too big for her mouth. Mickey cradled her to him, one hand stroking her hair gently. He was speaking to her, and Maya tried to pay attention, but she was so tired.

She…she just needed to rest her eyes for a moment. Just a moment. Everything would make sense after, she just needed some rest, that was all.

Maya closed her eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I suck at regular updating. Sigh.

* * *

 

Lily had never felt so small and useless before.

Which, honestly, was saying something. Her whole life, Lily had been the fragile one, the kid who had to stay indoors while everyone else got to play outside. The freak, the sickie. She had found a purpose in the apocalypse, had thought she had been strong when her Dad died. Had almost felt like someone for once.

What a joke.

Maya slumped in Mickey's arms like a corpse, naked and bloody and _lifeless._ Lily shook at the sight of her, stoic, strong, Maya. The woman had always been unstoppable, but here she was, stopped. Lily didn't even know if she was alive, and wanted to curl up and die herself at the thought.

There was shouting all around, sentries scrambling from their posts towards the other side of the house. Something was coming through the forest, something big, and monstrous, snapping branches in its wake.

And Maya wasn't moving.

 Lily's mouth was dry despite the water coursing down her face, her tongue scraping painfully against the roof of her mouth. Her eyes stung, but her hands remained clamped around Mickey's arm like a lifeline.  He was impossible to move, barely moving as she tried to push and tug him into action.

"Do something!" she shouted, railing against him as best as she could. Her voice was hoarse, her body aching. She simultaneously wanted to throw up and cry. Bet that would be an interesting sight. " _Help her_!"

Mickey looked wild, body curled around Maya's naked body like an overprotective dog. He was muttering, petting Maya's hair and smearing the blood at her hairline down her temples. Under Lily's horrified eyes he cradled Maya closer to him, burying his nose into her matted hair.

He had no right to touch her like that. _No_ man had the right to touch Maya like that. Lily snarled at him, flailing her fists at his shoulders, weak as a kitten but trying anyways. Because fuck him. Fuck this, fuck _everything._

"Where's Doc!?" she yelled at his unresponsive back. "Get Doc!"

He didn't move. A man screamed nearby, high pitched and desperate. Lily whipped around just in time to see the hideous shape of a juggernaut push through the tree line, its massive form decaying and putrid.

Lily jammed a hand over her mouth to stifle a scream. A human torso was clutched in its bloated hands, innards dangling from its mouth like obscene human spaghetti. Lily bit down a hysterical laugh at the thought, legs shaking.

It chewed thoughtfully, glancing around at the panicking sentries. Someone fired a shot and the juggernaut didn't even acknowledge it, looking at each person in turn like a tourist at a hotel's all you can eat buffet.

It turned, and its piggy dark eyes fell on the three of them.

Lily's fingers hooked into claws on Mickey's arm.

Mickey didn't react; too preoccupied with muttering and burying his face into Maya's soaked hair. The juggernaut dropped the human torso with a disgusting splat, sniffing the air as it stared Lily down.

"Mickey," Lily gasped, hating that she was going to die with a Wilkerson of all people. "Mickey it's going to _kill us_."

The juggernaut grunted, thudding towards them slowly. Taking its time. Why hurry when your prey obviously couldn't run away?

_Think, Lily!_

She tried to rise above the panic, above the sheer terror choking her. _What would Maya do? Oh God Maya-_

_Stop that._ A louder voice rose above Lily's own panicking. _Use your head. Find a weapon._

Her eyes were blurred with tears, but Lily dutifully looked around, trying to focus. The zombie leisurely strode towards her, bulk shaking the ground with each step.

_I'm not a warrior, what chance do I have against that!? I'm just-_

_Calm. Down. Mickey had weapons. Find them._

Lily's eye caught the glint of the guns and axe a little ways away. She'd never have a hope in hell of firing Mickey's rifle, the recoil alone would shatter every bone she had but-

_My rifle,_ Imaginary-Maya told her, cool and calm. _Take my rifle and put that thing down._

With a deep breath, Lily ran. Rain poured down her face, stinging her eyes, but she went, trusting that at least a pathetic attempt at survival was better than no attempt at all.

She slid in the slick grass, going down onto her hip with a pained gasp. Maya's rifle was familiar against her fingers, Lily's smaller hands sliding around the worn barrel.

_You can do this. I taught you how to do this._

At her movement, the zombie bellowed, locking onto Lily instead of the prone Mickey. It broke into a creaking jog, each movement making the fat of its swollen belly jiggle.

_Oh that is definitely disgusting._

Lily brought the rifle up into her shoulder, sighting as Maya had shown her back at the church. She was shaking so badly she couldn't get a good sight, her hands feeling like jelly.

"I can't do this," she moaned, blood freezing in her veins as she watched the juggernaut bear down on her. "I can't…I can't-"

_You have to. Shoot, Lil! Shoot the fucker!_

Lily screamed, squeezing the rifle trigger, the sound cracking over her own panic and the juggernaut's bellow. She fired again, and again, until the gun clicked empty, and even then kept pulling, the metallic click click like a death toll.

The juggernaut had stopped only a few yards away, staring down at her with a confused look in its dead flat eyes. Its shoulders heaved, and it gurgled unhappily.

The first shot had gone through its throat, tearing out a chunk of dead flesh and gristle, the second shattering its jaw into a pulpy mess.

But it was still standing.

Lily moaned, the rifle falling from her nerveless fingers. She had failed, she had fucked it all up like she always did, now she was going to die, now she wa-

"You did good, girl."

Lily yelped, turning towards the house.

Sarah was expressionless as she stood in the rain, Crystal and Peggy at her back. Crystal had a splintered piece of wood in her hands, and she was shaking, eyes wide and frightened. Peggy looked as blank as always, but she also held a piece of wood, and there was a fierce look in her eyes.

Sarah held no weapon in her own hands. "Now you just c'mere back t' us."

Lily's arms nearly gave out as she crawled in the mud towards the women. "I…I tried…"

It was Peggy who leaned down to help her up, pushing the frightened teenager behind her as Lily got to her feet. The juggernaut shook itself with a put out huff, black blood splattering onto the wet grass.

Sarah didn't back down, eyes sliding to Mickey kneeling in the mud, Maya's limp form. "Wilkerson, you with us?"

Mickey didn't move, didn't seem to acknowledge them. Lily grabbed onto Peggy's arm.

"His rifle, get his rifle!"

"No point," Sarah said. Peggy was slowly moving Lily back towards the house, Crystal following them. Sarah remained where she stood. "Only has one bullet, and none o' us are a good enough shot."

Shaking, Lily held onto Peggy as she was guided back towards the house. "What…what should we do?"

Sarah squared her shoulders. The old woman looked so fragile in the rain, the rain flattening her grey hair. She reminded Lily of her late grandmother, acting so indomitable, but physically so vulnerable.

 "Don't you worry," Sarah turned to flash Lily a reassuring smile. "Get inside, child."

The juggernaut snarled, and Peggy whirled, dragging Lily with her as she sprinted for the house. Crystal was close behind, and all three clattered up the steps, barreling into the kitchen.

"Sarah!" Lily struggled, but Peggy's hand was a vice of iron around her arm. "She'll die!"

"She knows," Crystal said shakily, pushing them all into the front room, bare feet slapping against the wooden floor boards. "Job's coming up the road. All she has to do is keep it busy enough for him to get here."

Lily felt the ground shake and a pained yell from outside. She made one last attempt to lunge past Peggy. "No!"

Crystal looked crazed, fingers white and bloodless where she held the wooden board. "What else can we do?? There's nothing left in the weapon cabinet and Job would kill us if we had anything! This is all we have!"

There was a horrible scream.

Peggy pulled Lily around to face her. The blonde looked unaffected by it all, mouth flat and eyes emotionless, but she slid her hands over Lily's ears and looked at her intently. She shook her head once.

_Don't listen._

Lily dug her fingers into Peggy's hands, squeezing her eyes shut. She imagined home, before all the death. If she pretended hard enough, maybe she could pretend this was her mother holding her, that this had all been a horrible dream. Her father would be alive, everyone would be fine, no zombies would have come and everyone would be _fine._

She never heard the front door crash inwards, was unaware of the flood of men that barreled through, guns drawn and Job roaring at their head. Didn't feel the vibration as the juggernaut was brought down under a rain of gunfire, Job's enraged screaming at his brother.

Peggy never moved her hands, and Lily didn't open her eyes.

 

* * *

 

The breeze sweeping through the glittering fields of barley was warm, swirling Maya's hair into complex pirouettes where it lay loose against her cheeks. She smiled, wiggling her nose slightly as a curious insect attempted to land.

"Ay, what is this?"

A voice cut through the air, warm and familiar. Maya's heart lurched.

"My little niña sunning herself like a fat cat? Up with you child! There is work to be done."

Maya opened her eyes, blinking in the dazzling light, smiling widely. "Mama, I'm a woman grown you know."

"Pfft, away with you. You're not a day over ten."

Maya rolled, grass crushing beneath her back, propping herself up on an elbow. Her mother stood a little ways away, hands on her plump hips, grey hair scraggly and baggy dress rippling in the breeze. Her worn wrinkled face was gentle, smiling. Maya breathed deep, contentment making her limbs loose and relaxed.

"I missed you, Mama."

Maya's mother snorted. "Missed me? Where have I been? That sun is getting to your fat cat head, niña."

Maya frowned. There was something odd about that, something Maya needed to remember but what was it-

"Well if it isn't the brat!"

Maya laughed out loud, scrambling to her feet. "Paul!"

Strong arms wrapped around her, sweeping her off her feet. Maya squealed, the world twirling around her in a blur of gold and green.

"You big old bully! Put me down!"

Her older brother dropped her back down onto her feet. "Old? I never. Always such a buzzkill, baby sister."

Maya laughed, cupping Paul's face. He was warm beneath her palm, solid and familiar. She could feel the stubble along his jaw, and rubbed her thumb against his cheek. She stared into his warm eyes and something stuttered in her chest, cold and frightened. Confused, Maya pulled her hand back, brow furrowing.

"Paul I-"

"Coming through!"

Maya nearly toppled over as two bodies slammed into her from behind, two pairs of arms fighting to wrap around Maya's shoulders at the same time.

"Shove off you ass, I wanna hug the little one-"

"Respect your elders, Strand! Age before beauty and all that-"

"Oh that's rich you ugly wrinkled toad!"

Maya turned, watching the two men as they tussled, all grins and laughs. Colton was winning, as usual, always the stronger of the two, blonde hair almost matching the fields around them. Beneath him, Strand was wheezing with laughter, grabbing his friend in a headlock in retaliation.

Paul whooped, leaping on the two like they were all young boys again. It was like no time had passed, they were all children playing in Colton's backyard again, playing cops and robbers and going on adventures.

"Boys will be boys," Maya's mother sighed, pulling Maya away from the men. "Walk with me niña, something troubles you."

A house stood on the hill, white and pristine. Around them the fields sprawled down into the valley, and Maya could see people resting and running in them, all of them laughing, all of them happy.

"Mama, where are we?"

Maya glanced back towards the house. It seemed…familiar somehow. She had been here before….had she been here all along? She couldn't really remember it all seemed…hazy.

"It doesn't matter. Now you tell me what troubles you."

A little girl ran by, her blue sundress billowing as she squealed, following a little black dog as it streaked between the grasses. Maya watched her go, frowning.

"I…don't know. I can't remember. There was something…something important I was doing."

"That’s my daughter! Always doing something, my Maya."

Maya's mother linked their arms together. "You never rest, I worry! Always doing, never stop and think."

Her head hurt. Maya rubbed her temple, struggling to think. "There…was a man? I think?"

"A man!" Maya's mother chuckled, shaking her head. Her grey hair still had streaks of black, and Maya remembered brushing it, remembered helping her mother braid her hair before work. "Ahh now it makes sense. My niña had her heart captured yes? Tell me of him."

Maya snorted. "It's not like that-"

"Is he tall?"

"Mama-"

"Handsome?"

" _Mama_ -"

"Rich?"

"Mama!" Maya pulled up short, exasperated. "There's something I can't remember, and it's important!"

Her mother's expression smoothed. "Yes. I know."

Maya turned back towards the house on the hill. "That house-"

It didn't look as welcoming as it had. In fact, if Maya squinted, it seemed cold, the white paint peeling and the windows dark. It pulled to her, beckoned her despite the warmth of the fields. It was enough to pull Maya out of the warm comfortable fuzz in her brain, enough to shake her, to make her palms sweat and heart race.

Maya turned back to her mother, and they looked at each other for a long moment.

"Mama, you died."

Maya's mother didn't move. The child laughed in the field, the dog barking.

"Did I?"

Maya swallowed hard, tears pricking her eyes. "You died on the living room floor when I was eighteen. And Paul-"

Her voice cracked. Maya looked out towards her brother, who was still rolling around with Maya's squad mates like they were _real._ Like _this_ , whatever it was…was real.

"Paul died in Afghanistan. They couldn't find enough of him to ship home."

And she had watched Colton and Strand die in front of her, torn to pieces. Maya breathed deep, tried to calm herself.

"Am…am I dead?"

Her mother looked serene, at peace. If this was heaven, Maya could think of worse places to be.

"Niña," her mother smiled, opening her arms and Maya wanted nothing more than to bury herself in those arms, let herself be comforted. But her feet stayed rooted to the ground. "Daughter, you think too much. Come, there is much to do."

The house looked bleak now, squatting like something dark and evil amongst such vibrant beauty. The sight of it made Maya's knees shake, made her want to run to her mother, fall into the pile of her brother and friends, anything to escape its gaze.

But she couldn't. She had to go in there, had to face that darkness. She didn't know why she just…did.

"I…I can't, Mama. I have to go to the house."

"Why?" her mother dropped her arms, eyes sad. "Why must you always leave me so, niña? Stay with your family. We love you."

Her brother appeared at their mother's side, hands clasped on her shoulders. "Maya?"

Colton and Strand flanked them. "You're not going, are you?"

"I have to go," Maya said numbly. The breeze felt cold now, biting at her arms. There was a dark figure on the dilapidated porch now, and fear lanced down Maya's spine, made her want to run screaming. "There's something I need to do. People…there are people I need to help."

Colton and Strand exchanged a glance. "You can't save them all, Maya. Sometimes, we have to know when to step back."

Maya gritted her teeth, eyes still on the house. "We're soldiers. This is what we do."

"Sister."

Maya looked back at her brother. Paul, the strong, Paul the brave. They had joined the army together, to make the world a better place. What had it all been for in the end? A dead world full of monsters. Her brother had died for a world that had never been.

Paul was looking at her sadly, as if this was a choice she was making. Was she? Could she just…stay here? Did…did she want to?

Faces swam in her memory, though she couldn't remember their names. A girl…women, a man….there was a man she needed to get to…

"I have to go," she repeated.

Her family looked at her sadly, but no-one moved to stop her.

"Oh Maya," Paul said quietly. "You always were the strong one."

Maya's mother was crying, her shoulders shaking.

"My baby," she sobbed. "My poor girl."

Maya turned her back to them, forcing herself forward, breaking into a run towards the house. Around her the world started losing color, the golds fading. The girl in the blue dress was now dressed in black, her skin and hair white, eyes vacant as Maya passed. The grass shriveled and died, the sky darkening and shadows stretching towards her like rotting fingers pulling her in. 

Air pressed in on her, her lungs breathless, head pounding. It felt like an iron band was tightening around her skull, forcing her vision to blur, spots to move in front of her eyes. Blindly Maya pushed on, hands touching splintering wood as she reached the steps.

"I have to go," she repeated to herself, collapsing against the groaning wood. "I have to-"

The dark shape was grabbing her by the arms, shaking her, pulling her into the colorless shadows within the house. Maya struggled, blind and vulnerable, the pain in her head unbearable.

"I have to go!" she yelled, kicking out and struggling beyond the black pain in her skull. "I _have t-_ "

The black figure cringed away from her.

" _Maya,_ " it gurgled. " _Come back sweetheart, come back."_ _  
_

Maya growled at it, tried to hit out, pull away, _anything._  It just returned, wrapping heavy fingers around her shoulders.

" _Y_ _ou need to wake up now,"_ it said. " _You need to wake up for me, darlin'._ "

She was awake wasn't she? She couldn't be asleep, she'd know....wouldn't she?

Maya's movements faltered. She struggled to open her eyes, to push past the pain and _look._

" _Can you do that darlin'? Open your eyes. Please. Please open your eyes."_

Maya obeyed, sucking in a deep breath of cold stale air as she forced her eyes open, pulling away from the darkness that clung to her mind.

Above her, a ceiling came into focus. Maya concentrated on breathing, on the rise and fall of her chest instead of the pounding behind her eyes. It took a herculean effort to turn her head, and at the movement there was a loud clatter. Maya winced, but a new shape rose over her, a face swimming into view.

Doc.

She tried to say his name, but the doctor shushed her quickly, hand settling on her forehead as he checked her eyes. Maya flinched away, but his hands kept her still.

"Don't speak, or move for that matter. You gave us quite the scare there."

He looked tired. Thin. His eyes were scrubbed red, his clothes sweat-stained and dirty.

The room was dim, just a lone battery powered lantern propped up on a sad looking table to her left. Maya blinked slowly, trying to get a sense of where she was. The room felt cool, slightly musty.

Happy with whatever he found, Doc touched her shoulders. "Okay. I'm going to help you sit up, but we're going to take it _slowly._ Got it?"

Nodding hurt. There was a throbbing in her temples, so Maya obediently went where Doc guided her, sitting up slowly to rest her back up against the wall. There was a sheet slung up, cutting off the corner of the room designated as what must be a patient treating area. Maya couldn't see beyond the sheet, but she could put two and two together, even in her state.

She was in the basement.

Doc passed her a chipped mug. It was full of water, and Maya sipped it slowly at his urging, relishing the feel of crisp cool water down her parched throat. She had been lying on an old mattress, and Maya resolutely didn't look to closely at the stains on it. The water helped clear her head, made the pounding softer, quieter. Doc was dressed in the clothes she had seen him in when she had been captured, and it looked like the doctor had been kept here for a while.

Here being....ah. Yes.

Doc took the mug back, setting it down on the table carefully. "I'm gonna ask you a few questions. You seem alright, and I need to know if there was any damage."

Maya blinked. _Damage…_

The forest. Lily, Janet, a man hovering over her ready to-

Doc cleared his throat. "What's your name?"

Maya swallowed, trying to calm her roiling stomach. "M...Maya."

Her voice was strained, creaky as her vocal chords struggled to form words. How long had she been passed out?

"Good," Doc smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Good. Do you remember where you are?"

_Hell._

Maya shifted on the uncomfortable mattress. "The…the Wilkersons."

Doc winced. "Usually I'd ask who's the president but Lord only knows that now."

He passed her the mug again, and Maya took a grateful sip.  Her throat felt better, and as Doc took the mug back, she fluttered her fingers nervously against her bruised throat. "How…how long was I…out?"

Doc sighed. He looked decades older, weighted down. "Two days. You had a concussion and I couldn't snap you out. Wasn't sure if you would, to be honest. That was a nasty beat you took."

Maya managed a tired smile. "Should...see the other guy."

She grunted unhappily as she stretched a leg out in front of her. She was naked, only covered by a thin moth-eaten blanket, but she didn't have enough energy to be upset about it. "Lily is she-"

"She's fine," Doc assured her, pushing her back to rest against the wall. "Shaken, but okay."

Maya breathed out slowly. One small miracle at least. "What…what happened?"

Doc avoided her eyes, clearing away some supplies she hadn't noticed beside the bed. Blood stained gauze, some rattling pills . 

"I won't sugarcoat it," Doc said, dropping them into a drawer beside the table. "Two women are dead, and half a dozen men. I don't know much more than that. We…we were waiting for you to wake up then…well."

He squared his shoulders. "It doesn't matter. You're awake, and that does."

"Two w...women?" Maya's stomach dropped. "But-"

"Janet and Sarah."

Without his cowboy hat, Doc looked…small. He didn't look like he'd been beaten, but there was a slump to his shoulders that hadn't been there before, a bone-deep exhaustion Maya felt she could sympathize with.

Maya touched her aching head. "The others? Marcus, Sam-"

"They're all alive as far as I know," Doc glanced towards the sheet. "But I can't guarantee for long."

Maya sighed. "Don't...remember your bedside manner being....so depressing, Doc."

That got a small smile out of him. "Sorry. Last thing you need is me mopin' at you. I'm really glad you're with us again."

He glanced again at the sheet.

"I have to…have to tell them you're awake. I'm sorry Maya I…I have to."

Maya managed a tiny nod. "Doc...thanks for...bringing me back."

Doc paused, one hand on the dirty sheet. "Well your confidence in me is nice to hear but...I didn't do much. In fact I...I was sittin' here wonderin' if it was best you didn't wake up."

Maya looked at him blearily, wondering if she had misheard. Doc avoided her eyes. 

"It makes me a goddamn poor excuse for a doctor but...Maya if you knew-"

He cut himself off with a shake of his head. "Never mind that. You rest and take it easy."

"Wait, Doc," Maya raised a hand, and that seemed to take every last bit of energy she had. The old man paused, though he still wouldn't look at her. 

"Is…what about Mickey?"

Doc shook his head. "I tried to keep him out but...he was here."

Maya dropped her hand back to her side, relieved. "He's okay."

"So to speak. Rest, Maya. I'll be back."

With a rustle of the sheet, Doc was gone. Maya leaned back against the wall, and took his advice.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: THIS IS SO DARK. Like woah brain, wtf. WARNINGS: Graphic Character Death, Non-Con, Violence against a minor, Blood, Gore, Torture, WARNINGS EVERYWHERE. Ye be warned. Also extra long chapter! Because yay for 4am writing!

* * *

 

 

Doc was gone for a long time.

Long enough for Maya to lose patience with taking it easy, and begin moving around the room. Her legs were shaky as she teetered around the small space, nearly knocking over the table with the lamp once or twice. Her head still hurt, her temples throbbing in time with the beats of her heart, but it was manageable now. A good sign, she hoped.

A pile of clothes had been left for her, neatly folded by the mattress. In another life she may have been embarrassed by the white elastic banded underwear folded on top, but Maya just felt grateful for a clean pair. The jeans were old and worn, threadbare in places, but they were warm, blocking out the chill of the basement. She managed to step into them without falling over, pulling them up her thighs. She avoided looking too closely or thinking about the dark blemishes dotting her skin. Finger-like bruises along her arms and thighs, the twinge whenever she swallowed.

She'd taken a beating alright, and her body wasn't about to let her forget.

The flannel shirt was one of Mickey's, probably from the pile she had arranged up in his room. It was a dark checkered green, the fabric thin under the arms. It felt good against her scraped skin, soft and comforting. She slid it on and buttoned it up, her fingers clumsy and stiff.

Finally dressed, she settled back down on the mattress, exhausted. She had peered beyond the sheet at the rest of the basement but it had been empty. If her friends had been kept here, Job had moved them.

So. Two whole days. How could it have been so long? Already her concussion-induced dreams were fading, slipping back into the recesses of her brain, but it had only felt like minutes. What a cruel joke for her mind to play, showing her the true dead, family lost.

Maya shuddered, rubbing her arms. She needed to concentrate on the _living._ She hoped Lily was okay. Hopefully Mickey had looked after her, had made sure-

The basement door creaked open. Doc's voice echoed down, angry.

"-over my dead body!"

Boots thudded on the stairs, and Maya heard Job's cruel laugh from above.

"That can always be arranged. I 'aint a patient man, Doc-"

The door slammed shut on the voices, cutting them off. Maya stiffened as a lone pair of boots continued down, scuffing along the concrete floor. The sheet shivered, the dim lamp throwing shadows around wildly as a man pushed through.

"Mickey!" Maya breathed out as she recognized him, scooting towards the edge of the mattress. "I've been going crazy down he-"

She trailed off as she looked up at him, really _looking_ at him.

His eyes were a mess of mottled purple, one swollen and almost black. His nose had definitely been broken and reset, a thin strip of tape across the bridge that Doc must put in place. His lower lip was scabbed, mottled red, and Maya hissed unhappily, reaching over to snag one of his hands. His knuckles were in just as bad shape and she ran her fingers over them gently, wincing in sympathy.

"What happened?" she asked, glancing up at him. "Jesus you look like…well. No offence, but you look awful."

Mickey said nothing. He just stared down at her with an expression she couldn't read, and unnerved, Maya tugged on his wrist.

"Hey. Talk to me."

He blinked, as if coming out of a daze. "You're alright."

His voice was strained. Maya breathed out slowly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm alright. But what about-"

Mickey crumpled, his knees hitting the mattress either side of Maya hard enough to bounce her. Maya yelped, planting both hands on his chest to stop herself from head-butting him and knocking herself out again. He groaned, and suddenly he was kissing her, his mouth desperate, hands tangling in her messy hair.

Maya's indignant cry was muffled in his mouth, but she didn't stop him, didn't try to push him away. She could feel the hard edges of the scab on his lip, tasted metal lingering on her tongue even as his lips moved to her chin, her cheeks, pressed against her sore temple as he muttered words she couldn't understand.

On the third pass of her lips, Maya craned her face away, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

"Mickey, what…"

"Thought I'd lost you," he mumbled, apparently uncaring of his broken nose as he jammed his face into the crook of her neck, hunched over on her lap. "Thought you'd gone and I…couldn't do a damn thing 'bout it."

A playful quip was right on her tongue, but the words died as Mickey shuddered against her, his breath warm and humid against the chill of the basement. Maya swallowed, heart pounding. Her head felt light, the room tilting a little. She breathed, counting the rise and fall of her chest.

When she felt more in control, Maya touched his hair tentatively, smoothing the fine hair at his temples with trembling fingers. 

"'M so goodamn sorry," Mickey whispered.

She felt him press his lips against her pulse point. Her heart gave a little lurch.

"I wasn't there," he continued. "I shoulda been there, shoulda been payin' more attention. I just stormed out like some asshole and I…goddammit Maya what if… _what if-_ "

"No point in what ifs," Maya said firmly, hand dropping to his shoulder. She gave him a gentle squeeze. "I'm okay, Mickey. _I'm okay_."

Mickey pulled away to look at her, stricken. "But-"

The basement door slammed open.

"Mickey you fuckin' wettin' your dick or somthin'? Get your ass up here!"

At Job's voice Mickey changed. An emotionless mask settled over his features, and Maya wasn't looking at Mickey anymore, but a Wilkerson.

She hated it when he did that. 

"Hold your damn horses you impatient bastard!" Mickey roared back, and Maya flinched, ears twinging. "Aint like she's fuckin' skippin' about is it?"

"Well then skip _for_ the bitch! I 'aint gettin' any more beautiful than I already am, and we got a party to get started!"

Mickey's lip curled in a snarl. He wasn't looking at her. "Alright, alright."

He bent, hooking a hand under Maya's knees and one arm across her back.  She went willingly, looping her arms around his neck as he lifted her up. She tried to catch his eye but he wouldn't look at her, gazing somewhere straight ahead.

"Mickey?" she asked quietly, nervous, as he pushed past the sheet. She tried to ignore how the room lurched around them as Mickey carried her over to the stairs.

"Just keep quiet," Mickey said tonelessly, climbing the creaking stairs. "Might go better for you."

 Maya could see Job in the doorway, grinning ear to ear. The pounding in her head intensified and she felt like throwing up.

"Well howdy there, Maya," Job chirped as he moved aside. "You're lookin'…like shit."

Mickey pushed past, carrying her out and towards the living room. Looked like it was night outside, but there was a bright glow streaming in from the front windows. Doc was there, the man looking as hopeless as Maya had ever seen someone.

"Please," the doctor begged as Mickey paused, Maya in his arms like a fragile doll. "Don't do this. I'll-"

"Oh simmer down, Doc," Job slunk towards the front door. "Just enjoy the show."

"I won't be a part of this!" Doc shot back. "I won't-"

"Then don't, Jesus. Go back down to the basement and stay there!" Job snapped.

Maya was pleased to note he looked as beat as Mickey did. She'd need to find out what happened later, but it looked like the brothers had fought. Maybe-

Job flung the door open with flourish. Bright orange light spilled in with the crackles of flames, along with the loud raucous laughter of the men. Mickey's fingers spasmed under Maya's knees, squeezing her hard enough to hurt.

Job just smiled, gesturing out the door, his eyes flat and dark like a shark. "Shall we?"

Like a robot, Mickey obeyed, carrying Maya towards the garish light, ducking past the doorway. The air was cool, but she could feel the warmth radiating from the large bonfire that had been piled with broken pieces of the destroyed fence.

The men had formed a horseshoe around it, leaving a little space in front of the roaring flames. Maya couldn't see what they were looking at but they cheered as one, a dull roar that reverberated in her chest as they hoisted bottles over their heads in celebration.

Even at the end of the world, alcohol flowed freely.

Mickey put her down on the porch, straightening quickly and stepping away from her. Her legs were still wobbly, and Maya sat down hurriedly, curling them beneath her protectively, unsure of what exactly she was expected to do.

"Maya!" A blur tackled her, thin arms wrapping around her shoulders and Maya sagged with relief.

"Lily," she sighed, hugging the girl tightly. "Oh Lil, I'm so glad you're okay."

And she was, from what Maya could see. Healthy and whole, not beaten or cowering. Maya buried her nose in Lily's hair, taking a steadying breath. It was okay. _Lily_ was okay.

A rough voice carried over the men, drawing her attention. "Good to see you, Maya."

Maya jerked, neck protesting. Sam sat close to the stairs, one wrist tethered to the bannister. The handcuffs glinted as she gave a half-hearted wave.

"Sam!" Maya gasped, yearning to reach out and grab her friend as well.

The woman didn't look as bad as Maya had feared, but there was a feral look in her eyes, a yellowing bruise spread along her cheekbone. Her clothes were dirty, torn in places but she was _alive._

She looked a lot better than Maya herself did. Yet it was only Sam cuffed there, no sign of the others.

Maya looked around cautiously, shifting Lily in her arms. "Where's Maggie?"

Sam's face darkened, gaze sliding away from Maya's. "She-"

"Shut your traps," Job snapped, tromping through the doorway, and Sam didn't continue, glowering as Job dragged a grotty looking lawn chair from the shadows. He sank down into it with a contented sigh, legs sprawled. It was then Maya noticed the other women standing motionless along the porch. Penny, Kelly and Crystal stood as still as statues, none of them looking towards Maya.

Job slapped his thigh. "My lap's mighty cold. And I'm feelin' parched."

Penny automatically moved forward, eyes vacant. Crystal bent to retrieve a bottle from a cooler at her feet, the contents sloshing.

Job chuckled, leaning up to snag Penny around her plump waist and settle her down on him. She was wearing an oversized shirt that gaped in the neck, and as Crystal passed Job the bottle, he kissed the bare skin of Penny's neck, making an obscene slurping noise.

The men cheered again. Maya tightened her arms around Lily, panic beginning to set in.

"Lil, what's going on?" Maya whispered. "What's happened?"

Lily wormed herself almost the whole way into Maya's lap. "Janet and Sarah died," she said quietly, forehead bumping under Maya's chin. Maya's bruises twinged, but she ignored the pain. "And a few men. Job was…angry. He kept saying you were gonna die too, that you were too far gone. Wanted to leave you in the woods."

Maya shot a look towards the Mickey. He looked like a stranger, straight backed and staring straight ahead. Was that why the brother's had fought? Over her?

In her arms, Lily shuddered. "They caught some of the  group that attacked. They've…been doing it for hours. There's only one left."

Maya squinted towards the fire, the light dancing in her eyes. The men were nudging each other, shouting bets at each other as they drank. They were exchanging things, bottle caps, cigarettes, anything semi-valuable. But still, Maya couldn't see.

"Doing what?" she asked.

Job looked over at them, irritated, taking a swig from his bottle.

"No thanks to you, some o' the bastards killed my men." He belched loudly, patting Penny on the rump. She didn't stir. "Aint gonna do that again, are they sweet-cheeks?"

Some of the men shifted, the ranks clearing enough that Maya could finally see into their inner circle.

Stumbling around inside the inner circle was a man Maya didn't recognize, bleeding heavily. He was naked, chunks of flesh missing from his arms, his shoulders and thighs. Around him two collared zombs shuffled, grunting as they tried to grab him. They were collared with a thick leather band and a catchpole attached to keep them at arm's lengths from their handlers. One of the handlers was huffing and puffing with the exertion of wrangling his zomb away from the crowd and aiming it towards the unfortunate man in the center.

The other got close, latching onto the man's forearm. His mouth opened in a scream but only a hoarse croak made it out as he tried to pull away, legs shaking with the effort to keep himself upright. The zomb latched on again amongst cheers, chewing as its victim tried desperately to shove it off. Maya saw the creature rear back, sinew and torn tendons lodged in its teeth before the men closed the circle again, blocking the gory scene from view.

Anger burned hot and acidic in Maya's bruised throat.

"Is that really necessary?" she spat towards Job, hugging Lily tighter. "Just kill the man and be done with it."

The chair creaked as Job shifted. "Your woman's bein' mouthy, Mickey. Might wanna take care o' that."

Mickey grunted, but did nothing. He stood behind Maya, watching the men with feigned interest. In the firelight his bruised face looked even more garish and red, a mottled canvas to match Job.

God, what had she woken up to? Maya shut her mouth, teeth clenched together. She needed to tread carefully here.

"But I guess she's right," Job sighed dramatically. "We got better shit to get on with. Frank! I'm bored as fuck, finish it up."

At Job's voice the crowd parted, one of the handlers acknowledging him. Maya saw the man's pole go slack and looked away, concentrating instead on Lily shaking in her arms as the men screeched with joy. She could do nothing but listen as a man died, trying to block out the wet slurps and gurgles.

Job whooped happily. "That's what I'm talkin' about! Get 'im!"

It took only a few minutes for the fight to end, but it felt like an eternity. After, the wranglers got the zombs back under control and someone else dragged the ruined mess that had once been a person away.

"Alright!" Job clapped a hand to his thigh, shoving Penny off him to the floor as he stood. She stayed where she crumpled, blonde hair hanging in a curtain around her face. By the wall, Crystal and Kelly tensed.

Job ignored them, facing the crowd with his arms spread wide. "Got a special treat for ya next! You lucky bastards get to see somethin' we 'aint done before."

There was a ripple of laughter and booing. Maya tried to see over the crowd, but from her position couldn't see much beyond. Lily clung to her tighter.

"Maya something bad is gonna happen," she whispered. "Something awful."

Maya swallowed. Hadn't Mickey warned her only a few days ago? _Somethin' big is gonna go down._

The crowd parted, and Maya's heart leapt in her throat as two figures were pushed towards the porch. The booing rose in pitch, a few men shoving the two as they passed, others trying to trip them up.

"No," Maya breathed, recognizing the two. "God no…"

Marcus and Ed approached, looking worse in the light. At least they didn’t look _more_ beaten, Maya reasoned. Marcus looked like he wanted to kill everyone, his broken arm held loosely against his body. Ed had a split lip, dried blood caked along his jaw. He was fidgeting, practically bouncing out of his skin, shooting nervous looks towards Maya. But they weren't bound, and they were otherwise okay. Had her crazy, stupid plan worked?

 Job smiled down at the two.

"So how 'bout it fellas? Still wanna join our happy little family?"

Marcus looked like every word Job spoke pained him. It was Ed who nodded, subdued and frightened.

Job beamed. "Well then! I'd be more than happy to welcome you but…see, some of the boys doubt your loyalty to the cause."

Mean laughter echoed around the circle. Maya's heart struggled, fear flooding her veins. In her arms Lily had curled up like a pill-bug, hiding her face in Maya's armpit. She tried to catch Marcus' eye.

"Now I know you're both men o' your word," Job continued, and more laughter rippled through the crowd. "And it 'aint like me to _doubt_ ya, but I think maybe you gotta prove to us all you're willin' to do what it takes to join us."

Marcus was so tense he looked carved out of stone. "And what exactly would we need to do? _Sir._ "

There was too much Maya was missing here. What had they promised Job? What had they said to convince him?

Maya had never done well when she couldn't plan. And right now, she was grasping at straws after two whole days of being flat on her back.

Just what the hell was going on? What point was Job trying to prove?

Job smiled that same toothy shark grin. "Well let's find out."

He sauntered back to his lawn chair throne, dragging Penny back up onto his lap. He glanced over at his brother.

"Mickey make your damn self useful, bring the girl over."

Maya tried not to flinch as Mickey stepped forward, reaching past the circle of her arms to grab Lily.

 _He's helping us,_ she chanted to herself as Lily was pried from her. It was hard to relax her arms, to not grab desperately at the teen as she was dragged away. _Trust him._

 From the corner of her eye Maya saw Marcus tense up further, but he stayed where he was, fists clenching.

 _Mickey has only ever helped you._ Maya forced herself to remain where she was, even as Lily whimpered. _It's all an act. Just stay calm._

Lily didn't make it easy for him, dragging her feet as Mickey pulled her over to Job. She was dumped unceremoniously beside the chair, and the teen scrambled to her knees, hands balled into fists and ready for a fight.

"I'm not afraid of you," Lily spat, and if Maya hadn't been so unnerved at the whole situation, she would have been beaming with pride.

Job laughed, loud guffaws that drew the attention of the others, jostling Penny on his lap.

"Aw sweetheart. You're a fierce lil' thing."

Job's hand had slithered beneath Penny's shirt, rubbing lazy circles into the woman's skin. "But you 'aint got no manners. Mickey, teach 'er some."

Maya's heart leapt into her mouth. Surely he wouldn't-?

Without hesitation, Mickey grabbed Lily's shoulder, wrenching her around towards him. Lily flailed, twisting as she tried to break free.

"Let me go!" she yelled, kicking out with one sneakered foot. She caught Mickey on the shin, but he barely registered the blow, raising his left arm.

It took every shred of control Maya had not to cry out and rush him as he backhanded Lily across the face. The sound of flesh on flesh, Lily's pained gasp as the blow connected, made Maya see red.

Job laughed as Lily went sprawling, clutching her cheek. "Now that's better. Finally mannin' up, brother."

Mickey took a step back into the shadows, his face expressionless. Still sprawled on the wooden slats of the porch, Lily looked at him with loathing.

Dimly, Maya realized she was digging her nails into her palm, leaving painful red indents. She tried to relax, to straighten her fingers, but she was shaking. She tasted blood, and her lip throbbed.

Mickey had hit Lily _._ Was the time of his protection up? Had it all been a ruse?

 _Stop it,_ she ordered herself. _He can’t defy Job with tensions so high. That hit was more a tap than anything. She's okay._

Her lips tingled with the memory of him kissing her in the basement. No. There had to be a plan she wasn't aware of, some act he had to put on.

Job was stroking Penny's thigh as if the act had excited him. Maya channeled her rage away from Mickey, towards Job. He was the one behind this, the one who deserved her anger. She would talk to Mickey later, try to figure out just what the hell was going on. Right now she just needed to get through this.

Whatever… _this_ was.

"I think we've waited long enough," Job said, feigning a yawn. "Bring 'em out!"

That was a signal for someone, and the crowd began muttering excitedly. Ed looked around nervously, but Marcus didn't look away, his eyes boring hot holes into Mickey's shadowed form. Lily had gotten back to her knees, chin jutted out defiantly, but Maya could see how the girl shook, the minute trembles that seized her muscles.

Over from the direction of the granary came movement and a few men called out, hooting.

Maya was shivering herself, a cold sweat she could feel trickling down her spine. Air felt like lead in her lungs, a sense of foreboding settling in amongst the throbbing in her skull making it hard to think. "Lily-"

The men got louder. Mickey shifted in the shadows, the movement drawing Maya's eye. Along the wall Crystal was pressed tightly against the wall as if she could disappear into it, Kelly holding onto her arm. The red-head met Maya's stare, and the blank terror in Kelly's eyes only fanned the fear in Maya's.

"Lily," she said urgently, over Job's chuckles. "Lil, come back to me."

"She'll stay where she is," Job chortled, taking another swig from his bottle. "Mickey, hold 'er still."

Obediently, Mickey emerged to grab ahold of Lily's arm, the girl practically hissing at him.

"Get off me!" she scrabbled at Mickey's sure grip, clawing at his fingers. "Don't touch me!"

Job looked over, amused. "Settle down hellcat, you don't wanna miss this show. It's gonna be a _hit._ "

He laughed as if he'd said a joke. On his lap, Penny was unresponsive.

Before them, the men parted, allowing a clear view of the lawn.

It was Maggie, the older woman bowed over as she was dragged. She'd been beaten, there was blood still dried around her nose and mouth, and every movement looked painful, her arms a canvas of yellow and purple. The men booed at her, some throwing things, and Maya's heart broke as Maggie was shoved into the center of the circle, falling to her knees as she slipped in the bloody viscera left behind by her predecessor. She was shaking.

Job glanced towards them all, as if expecting someone to protest. Maya kept her eyes straight ahead, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing her distress.

She heard Marcus' curse, Ed's sharp gasp, and silently begged them to stay quiet.

"I'll give the old bitch props," Job was saying. "She's a tough one. But too old for our purposes if you catch my drift, and I don't feel like feedin' another mouth."

Two other men entered the circle, dragging another form between them. Logically, Maya knew who it had to be, but she was still unprepared for the inhuman scream that came from Lily's mouth as Jacob was dragged through the crowd.

He was barely dressed, only a pair of bloodstained boxers preserving what little dignity he had left. His legs looked broken, unable to handle his weight as he was pushed down beside Maggie. One knee was completely out of alignment, his right ankle broken and foot twisted the wrong way. His face was barely recognizable, a mottled mess of purple and dried blood. There were burn marks across his chest, welts from something, and Maya had no doubt his ribs were broken.

How he wasn't dead yet, Maya didn't know.

Lily was a ball of fury, battling futilely against Mickey as he grabbed her arms and held firm.

"Jacob!" she screamed. " _Jacob!"_

Job was smiling, the bastard.

"Here's the deal," he addressed to Marcus over Lily's shouting. "You want in? Then you kill those two, right now, right here. Consider it a metaphor for out with old, in with the new or some shit."

"You…you can't be serious," Ed gulped. He suddenly looked so young, eyes wide and face pale. Beside him Marcus was trembling with anger, clenching and unclenching his fists rhythmically. But he said nothing.

Job chuckled. "Oh I am, little man. Joe, give 'em the bats!"

A beefy looking guy pushed through, two crude looking pieces of wood in his hands. Jagged spikes had been hammered in, pointing outwards for maximum damage. They were already bloody, and vomit rose in Maya's throat as her brain finally caught up to what Job wanted them to do.

Ed was shaking so hard he dropped it when it was handed to him, prompting more laughter.

"And if we refuse?"

Finally Marcus spoke, his words tight, clipped. He was trying to control himself, not make things worse for everyone. Despite her horror, Maya felt a rush of affection for him, for what he stood for. Marcus had always been their impromptu leader, the moral compass of the group.

Job shrugged. "Then I let you play with my pets. They're always hungry."

Lily was sobbing, shoulder-wracking wails as tears streamed down her face. Marcus' eyes met Maya's.

 _I can't do this,_ he seemed to say. _Don't make me do this._

But what choice did they have? If Marcus and Ed refused, they'd be killed, alongside the two already condemned. This wasn't a fairytale. The good guys weren't going to win and no last minute miracle was going to stop this from happening. This was reality, where women were raped, and good people died horribly as some sort of twisted amusement for the masses. And the only thing Maya had, the only thing that was keeping her sane in this shitty, hellish, reality was knowing that some of them would make it. Some of them would survive.

She had to believe that. She had to believe that she could save at least someone, even if it meant sacrificing someone else.

Hating it, hating herself, and hating Job most of all, Maya looked back at Marcus and nodded.

Something in his eyes died, a spark. She was asking the impossible of him, but she knew he would do it.

Ed shook like a leaf beside him, staring down in numb horror at his weapon. But to his credit he didn't say no, didn't throw it down in disgust. They had listened to Maya's words, knew what was at stake.

Knew what Job was capable of if they refused.

Still tethered to the rails, Sam slumped, hanging her head. Her lips were moving, and it took a moment for Maya to recognize the Lord's Prayer.

Job stretched his legs out in front of him. "Oh and make it a good show. You don't want me gettin' _bored_. Might just kill you anyways for the entertainment." He squeezed Peggy's thigh, taking another drink.

Marcus moved first. Always leading the way, always shouldering the heaviest burden. He walked like a man on death row, strides slow and heavy. He chose Maggie, knowing Ed would never have the heart to hit a woman. He circled around her until he faced the porch, Maggie in front of him. Giving Job the best view of the entertainment.

Maya's heart broke that much more.

Maggie raised her head as Marcus stopped, her shoulders slumped. She had given up, knew what was coming.

"I forgive you, Marcus," she said quietly, barely heard over the jeering. "I know…I know you're a good man. I'll…I'll be in a better place."

Marcus didn't speak, his head bowed.

Ed skittered towards Jacob, almost dropping the bat again. He clutched it to him in both hands, holding onto it as if it could singlehandedly beat him to freedom, take him somewhere far away.

"I don't…" he looked around helplessly but found only a sea of hard faces, some laughing, others glaring, daring him to mess up so they could fall on him.

Ed swallowed, and Maya could see tears in his eyes, reflecting the hellish firelight.

"I'm sorry," he said to Jacob's slumped form, voice wavering. "But I gotta…I _gotta_."

Jacob didn't register him. It was a small mercy, maybe he wouldn't be aware, wouldn't feel a thing.

Job raised his hand.

"And ready, set-"

"Jacob!" Lily screamed again, still struggling in Mickey's hands. If she were a braver woman, or a more foolhardy one, Maya might have tried to help her, run to push Mickey off, kick Job in the face and take down as many as she could. As it was she couldn't move, couldn't find the strength to fight this new atrocity.

She had accepted it. And that was almost worse.

Hearing his sister's voice, Jacob somehow raised his head.

"Lil?" he slurred, broken fingers twitching as he tried to get up. Maya's heart plummeted. He was conscious. He was aware.

"Well would you look at that!" Job was almost giggling. "Even after all the fun we've been havin', you're still with us!"

He leaned forward, Penny still balanced precariously on his knee. "Hey! Asshole! Got your sister over here. Pretty lil' thing 'aint she?"

To Maya's horror, Jacob was trying to move, to inch closer towards them. "D…don'tchu t..touch 'er…"

Job leaned back in his chair, a wide grin fixed in place. "Too late. Mickey here fucked your baby 'sis all night 'till the sun came up."

"It's a lie!" Lily screamed, and Mickey almost lost his grip on the teen as she jabbed an elbow into his stomach. With a growl he wrestled her back under control, practically lifting her up by the arms so she couldn't kick him. "It's a _lie,_ Jacob! Jacob!"

Job guffawed. "How's it feel _Jacob_? Knowin' I'm gonna do to your lil' sis what you did to my fuckin' brother? Let _that_ lil' image haunt you to hell, you fuck!"

He gestured towards Marcus with his beer bottle. "Fuckin' get started! And remember what I said, make it _good._ "

They couldn't afford to hesitate. If they did, they'd balk at what they had to do.

Marcus knew that, and swung before Job was even finished speaking. Maya recognized the blankness in his eyes, the mechanical movements. He had disappeared, tucked himself somewhere far away while he carried out the grisly task. Maya had seen soldiers do that during war, how they detached themselves from the act of killing.

Marcus didn't go for the head first. He couldn't with Job watching, had to make it last. His first blow struck Maggie across her back, the nails digging bloody trenches in her shirt and skin, driving her down onto all fours with a pained scream.

Beside him Ed shook, the bat clutched in his hands.

 _You have to,_ Maya thought at him, despairing. _Ed you have to, find the strength to put Jacob out of his misery._

She hated herself for thinking it.

"Looks like we got ourselves a little boy, not a man!" Job hollered, and the men booed. "Get on with it you fuckin' pansy!"

Looking like he was going to vomit, Ed raised the bat like an axe, over his head. His legs were shaking so badly he swayed, the bat unsteady in his hands.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. "Jacob, forgive me."

Lily wailed as he brought the bat down on Jacob's back.

Maya had seen some terrible things during war. Blood and violence were old friends to her, things she had experienced time and time again to the point where they didn't scare her. Death had been an acquaintance once, something to be greeted with a respectful nod, despite the burn of resentment when He took another one of Maya's friends.

But torture…torture was something else entirely. A twisted version of death that could never be truly accepted, something unforgiveable. It only happened in horror movies, something the soldiers sometimes whispered about but had never been proven. Even now, watching as Marcus brought the bat down again and again, listening as Ed's screams rivalled Lily's, Maya watched with a sense of detachment.

It didn't feel real. She lost herself in the rhythmic thuds of wood on flesh, the roar of the crowd. Her eyes were dry, her voice silent. 

Marcus was roaring like a wounded bull, beating Maggie into the mud, his bat caked with blood and hair as he relentlessly bludgeoned the older woman to death. He was a powerful man, and it showed. Ed struggled, physically weaker than Marcus he couldn't get the force behind his blows, and the crowd loved it, shouting abuse at him as they reveled in the bloodshed.

"You call that a swing? My fuckin' grandmother could do better than that and she's dead!"

"What are ya, a woman!?"

"Fuck he's barely scratchin' 'im!"

Maggie died first, collapsing beneath Marcus' blows.

Maya heard and saw the explosion of blood, the bright red splatter that signaled Marcus had done it as the crowd brayed. He had killed her.

Maya's eyes focused, zeroing in on Maggie's twitching corpse. Her head was cracked open like a melon, blood mixing with mud as the men shouted. Marcus was breathing hard, his eyes wild and torso covered in crimson.

Ed was crying, sobs wracking his skinny frame as he tried to carry out his grisly task.

Job snorted. "Lil' bastard is weaker than a kitten. Give that fucker what for dammit! Because of him my brother is _dead!_ "

Lily thrashed, kicking out her legs.

"You bastard! You fucking bastard!" she screamed at Job, neck straining and face red. "I'll kill you! I'll _kill you!_ "

Job laughed, not even looking at her. "You got your work cut out with that one, Mickey."

Jacob groaned, twitching in the bloodied dirt. Ed had been battering ineffectively at his broken legs, unwittingly drawing out the execution.

Mickey ignored the sobbing girl in his hands, looking over at his brother. He looked so unaffected by it all, and Maya had a surge of hatred for him in that moment.

"Job, the runt can barely lift the fuckin' bat," he drawled. "Lemmie finish the boy off."

Job scowled suspiciously. "What, it makin' you _uncomfortable_ , Mickey?"

Mickey rolled his shoulders. "Naw, but watchin' that lil' cuss weep his dainty soul out is. Sides, you got your revenge on the boy for Eli, now I want my turn."

Job sighed, waving his bottle. "Fine. Go have your fun. The kid's doin' my head in anyways."

Kelly and Crystal swept forward to take ahold of Lily as Maya watched helplessly. She fought them too, but between them they managed to keep her in hand, even as Lily kicked and screamed.

 _Do something!_ Maya yelled at herself. _Anything!_

But she stayed where she was. One step out of line at this point and Job just might hurt them all.

Marcus stood still, staring down at the bloody mess he had made of his friend, barely registering Mickey as he clattered down the steps. The bat in his hand was dripping, a steady trickle of blood that had once been Maggie's.

Mickey circled around Jacob, his movements loose and fluid. Ed had paused, and stood there quivering. Mickey took the bat from Ed's nerveless fingers, hefting it easily and giving the younger man a push away. Ed shrunk away towards Marcus, stumbling.

The men hollered, bloodlust in every eye. On the ground, Jacob was struggling to breathe, each lungful thick and wet.

Mickey looked at Maya.

She wanted to hate him. Wanted to feel betrayed, that he had lied to her and he was just like the rest, blood thirsty and cruel. Why offer to do it if he didn't enjoy it?

But he looked at her, and Maya _understood._

There was a power struggle going on between the Wilkerson brothers. Mickey was on thin ice as it was, he couldn't afford any missteps or Job would hurt Maya or Lily. He needed to prove to his brother he was trustworthy, that he was one of them.

If he was going to help them, he had his part to play, same as Maya. And his part was more bloody, more unpleasant than hers was. He was willing to make that sacrifice, for her.

Maya understood. She met Mickey's gaze with her own, and nodded her consent.

Jacob screamed as the bat swung down, lodging in his lower back.  He convulsed, Lily echoing his agony in a sound so primal, Maya would have thought it coming from an animal at first. Inside Maya howled along with her, but outside she barely moved, her face like stone.

Mickey pulled the bat back, tugging hard to dislodge the spikes. His face was emotionless, no grimacing, no smile. He brought it down again on Jacob's already broken legs, bone snapping as the crowd roared. Blood splattered up his legs, but Mickey was mechanical, tugging the weapon loose and bringing it down, nails winking in the firelight.

Jacob just groaned, and Maya willed him to die.

Three more times the bat rose and fell, and stubbornly, Jacob lived on.

"Do it, Mickey!" Job bellowed, on his feet now, one arm wrapped around Penny as he surged forward to see better over the heads of the crowd. "Fuckin' kill 'im!"

Mickey raised the bat a final time. Lily was prone in Kelly and Crystal's arms now, moaning and head lolling listlessly.

Mickey looked feral, his hands and forearms splattered with blood, bat raised over his head, poised. The crowd roared once more, and Mickey threw all his bulk into the swing, slamming the bat down with as much power as he could.

Maya couldn't watch that final blow. She closed her eyes, hearing the wet thud the bat made as it smashed through Jacob's skull, could imagine the sight as the men howled and cheered, already exchanging tokens as if celebrating a day at the races.

Job was the loudest, actually _clapping_.

"Fuck me, that was beautiful," he sighed, as if emotionally touched by the whole experience. Maya opened her eyes, and Job was looking over at her, expression calculating.

"I think my brother deserves a fuckin' award for that performance!" he turned to shout into the crowd. The men cheered, undulating around the bloody mess, Mickey in the center of them, chest heaving, blood dripping from his face. The bat lay embedded in the dirt, the ruins of Jacob's skull scattered around it.

"Come on, ice queen," Job was talking to her, tongue curling crudely behind his teeth. "Not even a tear? Surprised my brother's cock hasn't frozen off from fuckin' you."

Laughter. Maya barely registered it.

"See that, girl?" Job tossed towards Lily. "She didn't even bat an eye at your poor brother's messy death. She don't give a shit."

Lily moaned, eyes rolling. Job snorted.

"Pathetic." He waved dismissively at Maya, burying his face into Peggy's neck. "Get the fuck up then, bitch. Go show my brother what a good lil' woman you can be."

Somehow, Maya got up on numb legs. Her head still hurt, pounding with every step, but it felt like nothing compared to the empty space in her chest where her heart had been.

What did she have left to lose? Dignity? It seemed like such a silly thing to worry about, what with two of her friends lying dead on the grass. She had to do this. She had to fool them all into thinking she was beaten, given up. For her, as much as Mickey. Already he had done too much, made his brother suspect him. If Mickey failed, Maya's plans failed, and every hope she had ever had of escaping this hell would be for nothing.

She put one foot in front of the other, bare feet scraping along the wood as she slowly descended the steps. There were eyes on her, heated gazes, and Maya took a deep breath, trying to summon any scrap of courage she could.

An eerie silence had fallen over the crowd, the men watching her, watching what she would do. They parted before her as she stepped down onto the cold, wet ground. Blood and mud squelched between her toes, a grim reminder of what was at stake if she failed in her performance.

Slowly, Maya forced her hands to the front of her burrowed shirt, undoing the buttons with shaking fingers.

_Keep their attention on you, away from Lily. You know what you have to do._

"Maya-" Marcus' voice was choked, broken, and it took everything Maya had not to look at him, to ignore her friends as they looked at her sadly. Buttons undone, she shrugged the shirt off before she could second-guess it, her dark hair now caressing her bare shoulders and chest.

No-one breathed a word, the men watching her with bright eyes.

Maya's heart was pounding, her skin clammy with nerves. Mickey watched her approach, shoulders heaving. She was close enough to smell the blood glistening on his arms and face, and she resolutely refused to look down at his feet, neatly sidestepping the bat embedded in the ground.

"Maya, no," Mickey breathed quietly, for her ears only as she drew close enough to touch. "Not like this. Not here."

"I want you," Maya said, blankly. Loudly, for the others benefit. Had to make it a show after all, they had an audience to think of. She leaned up towards him, nose brushing his. "Like this. Right here."

She grabbed the front of his shirt, ripping outwards. Buttons went flying, splattering into the mud, into the crowd. There were a few nervous titters.

Mickey stood there awkwardly, staring down at her and Maya knew it was up to her. She forced herself to touch him, to smooth her hands across his exposed abdomen and lean up on her toes to kiss him, pushing her bare chest up into his.

"Maya, no," Mickey murmured to her as he tried to pull away, his eyes wild. "No."

"Yes," she said bluntly, grabbing the back of his head and forcing him back down to her. Mickey's hands slid to her waist, and Maya nearly recoiled at the sticky warmth of them. He was shaking, smearing the blood in twisting lines along her back as he touched her.

The kiss tasted of metal, and as they finally broke apart and Maya opened her eyes, she could see a sticky trail of blood tangled in the beard on Mickey's chin, like badly smudged lipstick. She felt it on her own skin, and fought the urge to scrub hysterically at her face.  The men were talking now, beginning to stir out of the strange mood she had managed to inspire in them.

"Show 'em how it's done!" Maya heard Job yell from the porch. She didn't want to think about what he was doing to Peggy. "Give it to 'er Mickey!"

Maya took Mickey's hand, placing it robotically on one breast. She needed to excite him, for both their sakes.

"Mickey please," she whispered. "We have to. Job's watching…there's no choice."

She reached down, cupping him through his jeans. A part of her nearly wept with relief to find him completely soft, that he found no pleasure in violence and unwilling partners like Job did.

Fury flashed in his eyes, and for a moment Maya thought it was directed at her. "There's always a damn _choice."_

He grabbed her shoulders, walking her backwards away from the crowd. Some men whooped at him, cat-calling as he pushed her up against porch wall beside the steps, blocking her from view with his body.

Maya went limp in his arms, Jacob's blood still warm on her face and skin. This was it; they couldn't afford to pretend anymore. He had to follow though, had to.

"Do it," Maya said quietly, her head lolling on the wooden slats. Her body felt numb, not hers. Everyone was watching, and she didn't care. It was like watching it from the outside, it was happening to someone else.

Mickey made a broken noise against her throat. He tugged at her jeans, pushing them down to her knees, her underwear following suit. Maya stared at the side of his head sightlessly as he fumbled with his own jeans, the crowd behind them laughing and drinking.

Maya braced herself for the invasion, for the burn of being violated. He grabbed her thighs, spreading her open despite the jeans tangled around her knees. She felt him slide into the v of her thighs, shuddered at the hot heavy weight of him. But the pain never came.

He rutted against her, holding her hips close with one hand, the other braced against the wall. For anyone watching it certainly looked like they were fucking, but…they weren't.

He was shaking; she could feel the quivering in his arms beside her as he moved between her thighs, miming the act of penetration. He wasn't hard, barely interested, teeth clenching hard enough to creak. Maya forced herself to come back to reality.

What was he doing? Why not just fuck her and be done with it? She wasn't going to stop him. _Couldn't_ stop him. He didn't have to pretend anymore, he could just take. They all thought he was anyways.

Stubbornly, Mickey continued the charade to the cheering of the men.

Maya blinked, skin flushing where his touched hers. She pressed her mouth to his cheek, out of sight of the others.

"What are you doing?" she hissed. "They'll kno-"

"Fuck 'em," Mickey growled, nearly driving the breath out of her as he pressed up against her. "Fuck Job, fuck that and fuck _this._ I may be a damned man but I'll be _dead_ 'fore I fuckin' hurt you."

He was trying to protect her, _still._

 _There's always a choice,_ he had said. Understanding dawned on her then, made her tremble and slide her arms around his neck.

Mickey chose to pretend. He could have just taken, forced her up against the wall and taken her six ways to Sunday and the men would have laughed, there would be no consequences. But he didn't. He could have chosen to watch Ed draw out Jacob's death even longer. Jacob would have suffered for minutes instead of seconds. He hadn't.

Mickey chose to help her, best he could. He was trying.

She could try too. For him.

Maya swallowed hard, pulling back to study Mickey's face. His eyes were shut, expression twisted in a grimace as if he was in pain.

"Kiss me," she said, and his eyes shot open.

"What-"

"I want you to kiss me," she murmured, daring to touch his jaw. Blood was beginning to dry there, coming away in red flakes. "Please, Mickey. I need…I need something that's _ours._ Not for them. Just ours."

He looked at her unhappily, not understanding. "Maya-"

She kissed him, uncaring of their audience. She could taste copper on his lips, warm flecks that didn't belong to him. She kissed him, skin painted with Jacob's blood. His hands that carried Jacob's death kneaded her skin, the same fingers that had stolen Jacob's life trailing along her ribs reverently.

If he was damned, then she was damned with him. And Maya made that choice willingly.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Death, angst overload and FEELINGS bleurgh. Mentions of past child abuse, grieving and whatnot. Just assume all warnings all the time at this point, bah.

* * *

 

Mickey knew what pain was.

He had been introduced to it from an early age, thanks to his old man. By the time he hit second grade he knew how to take a slap, knew how to absorb a punch to the gut and how to hide his bruises. The belt welts had been harder to hide, but he had managed. Job had it bad too, but little Eli got off being the youngest, old man Wilkerson had turned to harder highs than alcohol by then and left the kid mostly alone.

So yeah, Mickey knew pain.

He had made bad decisions his whole life, he knew that. It was easy to, living with the name Wilkerson. Back alley deals, protection rackets, hustling…he had seen every shady thing Turnbull county had to offer. Him and Job, the Wilkerson duo, always on the wrong end of the law. Sheriff gave up bringing them in eventually, wasn't worth the headache. Mickey used to pretend he did it all for Eli, to make sure his little brother was clothed and fed like Mickey himself never was.

But the truth? The truth was it was _easy._ Easy pickings, easy money. All he had to do was scare the right people, maybe throw a punch or two and he'd have enough money to get him through the month.

Job had a head for it. He thought the plans through, picked the hits, who to target. Set up heists with his connections, and never disappointed when it came to scoring.  It was even easier for Mickey then, all he had to do was follow his brother , play his part, and get paid.

It was as close to honest work he'd get, and Mickey had even enjoyed it for a time. Folks respected him, didn't dare look at him the wrong way or bad mouth him. It all boiled down to power, in the end. The biggest baddest bastard had the power, and by God, was it a feeling. Better than any drug induced high, better than any amount of money.

Mickey had had _power._

And he gave it up, all of it, for her.

He had seen Maya come out of that forest. Watched as she stumbled towards him, bloody and naked, half-supported by Lily. And whatever little power Mickey had managed to hold onto, every thread of control he had built over the years to hide his emotions…every bit of it turned to ash, lost in the raging inferno of _rage_ that ripped through him.

Because someone had done that to her. Someone had put his filthy hands all over her and made her _bleed._

Mickey didn't remember much after that. Didn't remember abandoning his post, dropping his weapons. Didn't remember the juggernaut bellowing its threats.

The only thing he could see, the only thing he could focus on above the roaring in his ears, had been Maya. Her lifeless face, her limp body in his arms. He thought she was dead. He thought she was _gone._

Mickey had thought he knew what pain was. But seeing her like that, seeing all the blood, the welts rising on her skin, the same skin he had touched and worshiped only hours before…It felt like someone had cleaved him open, cracked his rib-cage right down the middle and reached inside his chest, snuffing his heart out like a candle.

He'd never gotten the chance to apologize to her, to say sorry for acting like a fucking bear, but he had been scared, afraid she didn't really want him, forcing herself to touch him. 'Cause truth was, Mickey wanted her. Had before Job had fucked everything and captured her group. And to have her so close…he, Mickey Wilkerson, bad ass fuck up extraordinaire, was fucking _terrified_ that he was no better than his old man, no better than Job, taking advantage.

He shoulda just said it, but he'd never been much good at talking. And now…now Maya had gone and died here, cold and alone, and Mickey would never see her smile at him again.

He'd never hear her voice; never feel her fingers on his skin. Never find out the mundane shit like her favorite color, her childhood pet's name. He wanted to know what she sounded like when she laughed, _truly_ laughed, genuine and happy. Stupid shit that had never interested him when he had fucked women before, those that would give him the time of day before the world went to shit.

And God, he wanted that. He had wanted all of it. With her.

Mickey would have done anything in that moment to bring her back. Satan himself could rise from the depths of Hell and demand his soul and he would've given it gladly. He'd damn himself a thousand times over if it meant getting her back. Hell, he'd do any fucked up shit Job ever demanded of him, just…just as long as she _lived._

But she didn't. Maya was dead.

She was dead, and it was all his fucking fault.

Mickey handled his grief as he always had, silently. He gathered Maya in his arms, twisting one hand into the matted hair at the back her skull. Dimly he understood that there was fighting nearby, raised voices and gunshots. But he didn't care. Let the rain just drown them all, wash them away.

At the tree line where Maya and Lily had emerged, something moved. Even in his state, Mickey zeroed in on the movement, eyes narrowing. The rain still pelted down, sheets of freezing needles that stung his arms and face, but he hardly felt it.

A body stumbled out of the trees.

"Help! For the love of Jesus, help!"

Jake. The name managed force its way through the static in Mickey's brain. Jake, half-naked and bleeding like a stuck pig. His face was fucked, gore matting where his nose should have been. His torso glistened palely, raised red lines down his forearms and chest. Scratches.

Mickey glanced down at Maya's hands. Her knuckles were red and swollen, and there was blood caked beneath her fingernails.

And Mickey knew. He _knew_ what that rat-bastard must've done.

Jake swayed close, slumping his shoulders as if relieved to see Mickey.

"Wilkerson!" His voice was strained, with pain, an act, Mickey didn't know. Didn't care. "Jesus, I tried to help them but…the zombs came outta no-where."

Mickey said nothing, letting the man draw near.

Jake moaned, touching his ruined face. "I put down one o' the zombs but more are comin'. Tore my shirt clean off, the bitch. Saw the lil' one and that one-"

He nodded towards Maya. "She  was tryin' to save the other woman, wrapped her shirt round 'er but it was too late. Fuckin' zombs, man."

It was Job's voice  Mickey could hear, roaring out orders behind him. No more gunshots, so the immediate danger must've been dealt with.

Mickey carefully lay Maya down on the sodden grass, arranging her arms across her chest to save her some dignity. He then shrugged his over shirt off, draping it over her as some cover from the rain. She deserved better, but it was all he had, all he could give her. The ground squelched beneath his boots as he got to his feet, straightening to his full height. Jake watched him warily.

"See Job took care o' the fat one," he was gurgling slightly, blood clotting in his throat and making speech difficult. Mickey rolled his shoulders, limbering up his arms.

Too late, Jake picked up on the danger. Too late, he started backpedaling, feet slapping in the mud as he twisted his body, trying to move away.

Mickey struck. The sound that rattled in his throat was more animal than human, rage and grief fueling strength he normally wouldn't have.

It was pathetically easy to tackle Jake to the ground, to twist his fingers in the other man's short greasy hair and slam him face first into the mud. Jake thrashed beneath him, yowling in agony, and Mickey rolled him over, jamming one knee into Jake's groin. Jake's mouth was open in a wordless scream now, and Mickey grabbed his throat, jabbing his thumbs into the vulnerable hollow above  his clavicle.

Jake's legs were kicking, hands scrabbling at Mickey's forearms. Snarling, Mickey shifted his weight onto Jake's chest, moving his knees until he was kneeling on him, feeling ribs creak beneath his shins.

Job was shouting, and Mickey heard the wet slaps of boots approach. He squeezed harder, relishing the choked sputtering, the swollen red of Jake's eyes as he stared wildly up at Mickey.

"Mickey! Jesus, Mickey, _let go!"_

Job was yelling, pulling on Mickey's shoulders. Mickey bore down harder, laughed when he felt one of Jake's ribs give way beneath his weight, cracking against his knee. He squeezed until he couldn't feel his own fingers, until the panicked jack-hammering pulse beneath his knuckles ceased, and Jake's legs stopped kicking.

It was only then that Mickey blinked out of his stupor, coming back to himself.

Jake lay dead beneath him, face contorted into a swollen red mess. It took effort for Mickey to release him, to unlock his fingers from their stiff positions. He was breathing heavily, his face hot even in the cold rain.

For a while, Mickey just sat there in silence, the magnitude of what he had done not truly hitting home.

"Fuck," Job finally said, rubbing his jaw. "Goddammit, Mickey, you killed 'im."

Mickey stared stupidly down at the dead man, curling his fingers as feeling began to flood back into them. His joints creaked from the strain he had put them through, clicking in protest.

"He killed Maya," he said bluntly. The world looked bleak around him, as if all the colors just leeched out at his words.

There was an impatient sigh.

"Dammit, your bitch 'aint dead," Job snapped, running a hand over his thinning hair. "Doc's got 'er in the house now doin' some medic mumbo jumbo."

Mickey's heart skipped a beat.

Job scowled down at him, kicking him in the thigh. "Did you hear me? She _'aint dead._ "

"Yeah," Mickey managed hoarsely. Jake's blood was _red_ , a rich crimson coating Mickey's hands and wrists, lines of it dribbling into the churned mud.

Job sighed again as if put upon. He crouched down beside his brother, grunting unhappily as he squelched in the mud. He grabbed Mickey's shoulder, pulling him close so Job could growl in his ear.

"We'll say he was bit," Job said. Mickey stared blankly down at the corpse cooling in front of them. "That you put 'im down 'cause he was doomed anyways. If the boys find out you outright _murdered_ 'im then…well. I don't gotta tell you what they'll want me to do t'ya."

Power. It all boiled down to power, and Job had it all.

Mickey tore his gaze away from Jake. It didn't matter. Maya was _alive._

Mickey didn't have to think about it. He'd said he'd protect her, and now, he had a second chance.

He could save her. He could. Mickey took a deep breath and accepted the devil's bargain, damning himself happily.

"What do you want me to do?"

 

* * *

 

 

Mickey's lips were unresponsive under hers, but his hands dug into her enough to hurt. Maya's pelvis creaked, one thigh banging against his limply at the movement of his hips. He pulled his face away from hers quickly to the jeering of the men, and Maya fought the urge to close her eyes and just be somewhere else. She forced himself to look into his face, to keep herself grounded in the moment.

This was a violation for both of them, and she wouldn't abandon him to the cruel jeers and searching eyes of the crowd. They'd do this together.

He pushed up against her a final time, grunting for show and the men closest whooped. Some had lost interest, wandering off in search for more alcohol or fights.

Maya clung to Mickey's shoulders, trying to concentrate on breathing steadily as he pulled her underwear and jeans up, buttoning them closed for her. Her head was swimming, and she felt sick, her stomach twisting in her belly. They had finished their performance, and it was a convincing one indeed judging from the jeering and hooting from the remaining men.

Mickey pulled his ruined shirt off, wrapping it around Maya's middle and chest to hide her from view. Maya clutched the ripped edges with nerveless fingers, trying to catch his eye, to communicate… _something._ He was avoiding her, staring at a spot on her jaw, eyes blank of emotion.

"Aw c'mon Mickey, let some of us poor saps see the goods!" Someone shouted.

There was a cackle to her left. "Careful, he'll rip you a new one if he sees you oogling!"

"She's lucky he's possessive. I know what I'd be ripping if I got half a chance-"

"You'd have to wait your turn!"

Maya shrank from their voices, pressing herself tighter against Mickey's front. Whatever small kernels of bravery she had summoned had left her, leaving her empty and drained.

Two of her friends were dead.

She realized she was shaking, coming down from an adrenaline high. A firm hand on the small of her back propelled her away from the shadowy nook, back towards the porch.

It was chaotic. Men milled around, hollering and laughing, the clink of glass loud even over the crackling flames. Job was flushed on the porch, eyes bright as Mickey pushed Maya forward, up the wooden stairs.

She couldn't look over at Marcus and Ed. She could barely look down at _herself,_ at the red flaking patches Mickey had left on her. Sam reached out to her as she passed, a brief brush of fingers against Maya's ankle.

_I'm here,_ the gesture said, and tears pricked Maya's eyes. _You're not alone._

Lily was inconsolable in Kelly and Crystal's arms. She looked feral, eyes wild and spitting as she screamed, struggling to pull away from the two women.

"I hate you! I _hate you,_ you killed him you monster! I'll kill you, I'll kill-"

Penny was on her knees in front of Job. Too cowardly to face any of them, Maya kept her eyes trained on her bare, blood-stained feet.

Job was laughing and grunting, one hand on Penny's head. "Didn't know you had it in ya, Mickey. Now do somethin' about the brat, yeah? She's doin' my head in."

_Forgive me Lil,_ Maya pleaded silently. _But this is how I'll save us. Please forgive me one day._

It took every scrap of strength Maya had, but she raised her head, looking Crystal and Kelly both in the face.

"Take her up to the room," Maya ordered, voice barely trembling.

Lily seemed to collapse inwards at Maya's voice, all her energy evaporating as quickly as it came.

"M…Maya?" Lily whispered, and Maya had to steel herself not to look at her, not to lose her resolve. She kept her eyes on Crystal and Kelly.

" _Now,_ " she added, hoping the women would understand. They had to get Lily out of here before things got out of hand, before Job decided he needed more entertainment.

" _No!"_ Lily yelled as the two women managed to get her to her feet, tugging her towards  the door. "No, Maya, I trusted you, he _killed Jacob,_ he…you… _no!"_

Maya could still hear her yells as she was pushed further into the house and up the stairs. Job was looking at her, she could see him out of the corner of her eye, but without Lily to worry about, Maya felt calmer, more capable of bearing that awful gaze.

"Go on then, brother," Job said, amused. "You might as well go celebrate in private for a bit."

Maya automatically took a step forward, yearning to get away, to slip into the silence of the house and curl up in a corner and cry for the next hundred years.

But Mickey didn't move. Maya swallowed nervously, looking over her shoulder at him. He stood as if in a daze, eyes locked on Maya but not seeing her. Maya had seen that look before, had worn it herself on a multitude of battlefields. Shock, realization that you had personally taken a human life.

Maya reached out, taking a hold of his arm with trembling fingers. She didn't dare look and see what stickiness her skin touched, just pulled him forward, walking him into the shadows of the house.

Mickey followed her, silent. Maya could hear Lily as they mounted the stairs, Maya's hand still on Mickey's arm. The girl was wailing, ear splitting cries as something heavy crashed against a wall upstairs. Kelly and Crystal were waiting outside the door as they approached, and both bowed their heads briefly to Maya before disappearing back downstairs.

Together, Maya and Mickey stared at the bedroom door. Beyond it, Lily raged and grieved, tearing Mickey's room apart piece by piece. Maya relinquished her hold on Mickey, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand and taking a deep breath.

"Ready?" she asked quietly. "I'll try to restrain her if she tries to hurt you."

Mickey straightened, squaring his shoulders. "Just let 'er."

Maya pushed the door open.

Mickey hadn't had many possessions, but Lily had somehow managed to find them all and throw them around the small room. The camp bed was up against the far wall, boxes overturned and contents spilling out.

Lily herself was curled up in the far corner. She didn't look up as they entered.

"I hate you," she said weakly, voice thick with tears. "I hate you all."

Maya stood over her, not knowing what to say. Where could she even begin? Lily's brother had been taken from her in the worst possible way, and Maya had… _rewarded_ his killer.

Mickey went to the corner of the room, grabbing an old shirt. He started rubbing his hands and arms, his chest and belly. His movements steadily became more frantic as the blood refused to budge, staining his skin.

Lily moaned, rolling over to jam her head under a blanket. "Just go away. Leave me alone."

"I can't," Maya said softly. "Lily I…"

"I want my Dad!" Lily wailed, thrashing. Maya didn't go to her, let her fight and rage. "I want Jacob, I want…I want to go _home!_ "

Tugging the blanket from her head, she looked over at Mickey. Her face twisted into something Maya hoped never again to see on her young face.

"He's a _murderer,_ " she spat, hatred radiating out of every pore. "And you…you let him _touch you._ "

Maya didn't shy away from her rage. Let her hate, let her _feel._ Maya couldn't, herself. Couldn't let those emotions threaten their safety. "Lily it's not tha-"

"You're disgusting!" Lily shouted, twisting in the blanket like it could shield her from everyone. "I'd rather _die_ than let him touch me! I hate him! And I hate _you._ "

She tucked herself away from Maya, burying herself in the blanket, sobs shaking her body. Maya backed away, knowing there was nothing she could say or do. Her back hit the opposite wall, and she breathed out shakily, trying to keep it together. Mickey righted the rickety chair, sinking down into it like an old man.

They all sat like that, Lily curled in the corner, Maya against the wall, and Mickey staring into the distance on the chair for what felt like hours.

Eventually Lily's cries became quieter, her breathing more even as she fell into an exhausted grief-fueled sleep. Maya didn't have a single emotion left in her to feel, she felt hollowed out, empty like the sky. She'd rather be up there, something weightless and thoughtless, floating high above the earth without any of these painful earthly worries.

And for a while, that's what she was. Maya slipped somewhere quiet in her mind, somewhere far away from Wilkersons and sobbing girls, far away from pain, from grief.

She was nothing. Blissful, quiet, nothing.

It was Mickey who brought her back to Earth. The chair creaked, drawing her attention, and in the moonlight streaming in through the window, she could make out his slumped form. His head was in his hands, elbows on his thighs, and his shoulders were shaking.

Maya's legs had gone to sleep, and she winced as she struggled to stand, feet buzzing with static. She awkwardly hobbled over, moving to stand in front of him.

"Mickey?" she asked softly. "Are you okay?"

He chuckled bitterly, the sound wet, and she realized he was crying. Not the way Lily cried, or even Maya cried, but a quiet, devastated sort of grieving Maya didn't quite understand.

"You shouldn't be askin' me that," he muttered. "I don't deserve none o' your concern."

Maya blinked down at his bowed shoulders. Her skin was itchy were Jacob's blood had begun to dry. On automatic, she stooped to pick up the shirt Mickey had been using, rubbing at her own arms with a detached sense of disgust.

"Are you okay?" she repeated.

Mickey raised his head to look at her. He looked like he had aged several years.  "Are you?"

Maya didn't shy away from his blood splattered face. Mickey wasn't her enemy. He had proven that to her, once and for all. There were no barriers between them now, no point in lying or hiding the truth.

It was…liberating, in a twisted way.

"You just beat one of my friends to death," she said bluntly. "And Marcus had to do that to Maggie. No. I can't say I am okay."

Mickey's eyes were unfocused. "Eli used to talk 'bout 'im, though never in front of Job. I…I didn't understand it but Eli was so goddamn happy, he loved 'im, I…I just oh Jesus, he was just a _kid._ "

Maya let him wrestle with himself. He needed to come to terms with it if he was to accept it. "You volunteered to do it."

Mickey looked down at his hands. "Wasn't like the other was gonna get it done. That boy deserved better, deserved somethin' quick. I…I thought it'd be a mercy but-"

He trailed off. Lily's uneasy breathing was loud in the quiet. Even outside the party had died down, not even the glow of embers visible outside the dark room.

Mickey breathed out shakily. "I…I had to. I _had to_."

"No," Maya said, voice almost harsh, and he looked at her then, snapped out of it enough to really _look_ at her. "No you didn't have to. You _chose_ to, just like you chose not to fuck me in front of everyone. There's always a choice, you said. Why?"

Mickey was silent. Maya reached out, grabbing his chin and forcing him to look at her. She shook him a little, wanting him to be with her, not letting him slip back into a place of self-pity. She wanted him to _feel_. "Answer me. _Why?_ Why are you doing all this, Mickey?"

He looked wrecked, but met her gaze, rose to her challenge.

"You," he said quietly. "I'm doin' it for you."

Maya stilled, but she didn't release him, didn't shy away. "You think I'm going to fall madly in love with you for being so selfless? That we'll live happily ever after, is that it?"

"No," he shook his head, and Maya finally released him, dropping her arm awkwardly back to her side. "I _expect_ ya to hate my guts. To spit and curse me 'till I go to a well-deserved death. But that don't matter none. I can do it. I can save _all_ of ya."

He sighed, slumping in the chair. "All those people Job's done in, all the women. The shit I've done 'cause he convinced me it was the only way…I didn't fight as hard as I shoulda.  Looked the other way when it suited. I coulda done more, _know_ I coulda done more-"

"So we're your redemption? You think that's what this is?"

Mickey's hands twitched like he wanted to reach out and touch her, but he kept them stubbornly at his side. "I'm past that. I'm as damned as damned can be, and tonight just proved I'm no goddamn better than my brother. But you, you're…she's…"

He glanced helplessly towards the pile of blankets. "You're good people, Maya. I knew that the moment you came for Doc. You don't deserve any o' this. I'll save ya, one way or another. I'll get you out, and that's a goddamn promise."

Just when Maya felt she understood who Mickey Wilkerson was, he did something to turn her on her head. Mickey swallowed.

"And I know you fuckin' hate me. Outside we gotta…we gotta still pretend. But I swear to God, Maya. I won't touch you 'ere."

He bowed his head, braced himself, shoulders tense. "So do it. Fight me, hurt me, do what you gotta and I'll take it. I won't stop ya."

She could, Maya realized. She could tear at him, dig bloody scars into his arms and chest, make him suffer for taking Jacob's life, and he wouldn't stop her. He thought he deserved it, would bear whatever punishment she thought fit.

But how could she ever do that? By his own admission, he had done it for her. To save her, to possess her, the lines blurred in this hell, but the outcome was the same. For selfish, or selfless reasons, Mickey was her jailor and savior rolled into one.

She couldn't hate him. Didn't want to. They had been brought together under terrible circumstances, but they were together. They would weather whatever was to come. Together.

_Together._ Maybe she was changing too, into something hardened and different, because the thought excited her. Made her feel like she could bear whatever shit Job had in store, as long as Mickey was there with her.

"Mickey, no," Maya sighed , reaching out to him and touching his bowed head tentatively. "I don't hate you. None of us have much choice in any of this. You killed Jacob. It was the lesser of the two evils, and you made that choice. Not many people would have been as brave."

She paused, choosing her words carefully. "You could have been like all the others. But you weren't. You _aren't._ I don't know how the hell we're going to get out of here, if we even can. But…I'm with you."

Mickey looked up, expression hopeful. "I don't know how, but I'll get ya out. Or die tryin'."

"Please don't," Maya cracked a weak smile. "I've gotten used to you being around. We'll figure something out, _together,_ Mickey."

She took a step towards him, close enough so his forehead bumped against her stomach. Her hand curved down his skull, petting him as her mother had once soothed her through nights of illness and nightmares.

She didn't really know why she did it. Just that it seemed the right thing to do, that she had meant every word, and wanted him to know it, to believe her.

He breathed out shakily, and Maya didn't step away as he wrapped his arms around her waist, burrowing his face into her belly. His hands splayed on her back, and her skin warmed at his touch, pulse fluttering.

"I'm so sorry," he muttered. "So goddamn sorry. I killed that kid and…I can't…"

"I forgive you," Maya said suddenly, the words just tumbling out. And she did, she realized. She didn't blame Mickey for Jacob's death, though he had been the one to deal it. That blame lay squarely at Job's feet, for orchestrating the whole fucked up display of dominance.

Mickey shuddered against her, arms tightening, fingers digging in as if to anchor himself to her. Maya let him grieve against her, silently petting his hair, the gears in her head grinding into action. One thing she knew sure.

Job Wilkerson had to die.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At last, another chapter! Smut to come next chapter, finally I've gotten some FEELINGS out of the way ;) Thanks so much for the comments and kudos, really tickles me to know there are people reading this and enjoying :)

 

* * *

 

 An owl called, lonely and shrill.

Maya listened to its muted cries echoing across the fields, the sound seeping through the cracks in the window. In all the drama of fighting and surviving she hadn't given much thought to how nature must be reacting to the zombies, maybe struggling just as hard as she was.

The owl had kept her company, as sleep hadn't come to Maya. She could feel it pressing behind her eyes, making her shoulders slump with exhaustion, but still she kept her eyes open, watching instead as the dark shadows of the room slowly faded, becoming lighter with each passing hour.

She sat with her back to the wall, camping mat cushioning her against the hard wood floor and Mickey sprawled between her knees, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. Occasionally he would murmur, nuzzling his face past the gaping shirt into Maya's bare stomach, beard tickling.

But Maya didn't laugh. Idly, she ran her fingers through his hair, and he settled, slipping back into his dead sleep.

The owl called again, and distantly a screamer answered it, making Maya's heart jolt. It was enough to make her drooping head lift, for her eyes to blink awake again. Her eyelids felt like sandpaper, scratching with every blink, but she ignored the discomfort, keeping her eyes firmly trained on the swaddled form in the corner.

Maya was waiting.

In the army, she hadn't been very patient. Had always been a character flaw of hers that countless CO's used to comment on. But here, at the end of the world, she found she had it in abundance. Ironic. What was there to wait for after the end? It had already ended. Now was just a slow drag towards the inevitable, surely.

But the world kept turning. Outside, the owl hooted, undeterred by its screamer competitor. The sun would rise, and the sun would set, and life would continue. It always found a way.

And Maya would too. The fear that had flooded her veins had eased, replaced with a grim determination to survive. Things were clearer now; any trepidation or uncertainty she had once harbored was gone, obliterated with the final blow that had killed Jacob.

She knew what she'd have to do to survive this. She knew what she'd have to do to save the others.

In the corner, Lily moved. The sleeping bag she had nestled in dropped away, Lily's head pushing free to stare blankly towards Maya. Even in the dim light of early morning, Maya could see the girl's swollen eyes, the bloodshot veins that narrowed on Mickey's sprawled form. She sniffed, a heartbreaking sound to Maya's ears, and dropped to a crouch, tossing the sleeping bag aside.

She searched the floor, casting around in the mess of Mickey's belongings.

Maya was careful not to jostle Mickey as she curled her arms protectively around his shoulders, hugging him against her stomach.

"No, Lil."

Her voice barely sounded like her own, raspy and quiet. Lily stilled, hands still braced on the floorboards. Maya knew what she was doing, what she was looking for. She knew, because it's what she would have done. In her lap, Mickey muttered unhappily, pressing closer to her, still asleep.

Lily said nothing, and Maya didn't expect her to. Lily had clawed her hair out of her usual pony tail in her grief, and it hung in greasy lines against her sticky cheeks, gave her the appearance of something wild, feral.

There was little to nothing Maya could say to help her, to make things better.

So she didn't. Maya said nothing of apologies, or condolences. Let Lily turn her grief and rage on Maya, if she needed to. The alternative would get them all killed.

"You won't find anything in here to use as a weapon," Maya continued, keeping her voice low. "Even if you did, I wouldn't let you use it. It'd be suicide and you know it."

Lily's fingers curled into claws against the floorboards, fingernails scraping wood.

"He killed my brother," she croaked. "He killed him, and you just…you…"

Lily stared down at her hands as if only just noticing them. "You gave yourself to him like it was a fucking _reward."_

Maya winced, unused to hearing the girl curse. "Is that what you think I did?"

Lily's head snapped up, bloodshot eyes intense as she stared Maya down. "You didn't stop him. You didn't do _anything_. You let Jacob die."         

One life to save many, wasn't that the saying? Hollow words spoken from hollow men.

Maya felt herself tensing; a flow of adrenaline starting to make her heart pound and her vision sharpen. She couldn't afford to coddle Lily, though she desperately wanted to. Old Maya wanted to just wrap her in comforting arms, let her cry and mourn with her. Maybe would have let her pound retribution into Mickey's unprotected back.

New Maya understood that wasn't possible. Long-term survival was more important than letting rage or grief take over, she knew that now. If Lily raised a hand to Mickey, Job would do something awful. She had seen what the man thought 'entertainment' was. The stakes were high, but how could she explain that to Lily? That Jacob was one of the lucky ones, he had escaped whatever fate they would now face. That if Maya didn't do this, if she wasn't strong enough, then they'd never escape.

Maya would protect her family, even if they didn't understand that she was doing it.

"I did."

The owl no longer sang. The room was quiet, but for Lily's harsh breathing. Maya felt like metal, hard to the eye but brittle inside.

"I let your brother die." Maya felt detached from her own mouth, watching clinically as anger flushed Lily's face, made her previously glassy eyes come alive with anger. "I watched him die and I was glad."

Lily was shaking, and Maya let her arms drop from Mickey's shoulders, sensing the girl might spring at any moment. Good. Push her; make her blind to rest of her feelings. Maya could handle it.

She had to.

"I let Mickey fuck me with your brother's blood still on his hands." There it was, there was the tipping point. Lily's eyes were wild, mouth stretched in a snarl. Maya went in for the kill.

"And I liked it."  

Lily lunged with a yell, and Maya surged up to meet her, dislodging Mickey around her waist. It was a clumsy attack, Maya catching Lily's failing fists easily enough as they grappled in the dark, Maya on her knees and Lily bearing down.

Lily twisted, and Maya rolled with her, pulling the girl down to the floor. It was easy enough to wrap herself around Lily's smaller body, to pin her in place so she didn't hurt anyone or worse, herself. Random sharp angles dug into Maya's back, but she ignored the pain, cinching her legs around Lily's thrashing ones.

"Let me go!" Lily was shouting and crying, desperately trying to get away. "Don't touch me you…you… _whore!_ "

The word was like a physical slap. Wordlessly Maya let go, and Lily retreated back to her bed, shaking and crying.

"I…I trusted you," Lily said thickly, wrapping the sleeping bag around her shuddering body. "I thought…"

She sat down, back to Maya, staring at the wall. "I _hate you._ "

Mickey was awake now, lying on the floor where Maya had rolled him, looking at her with confusion. Maya picked herself up, dusting her bare legs down absently.

"You go right ahead, Lil," Maya murmured, padding back to Mickey. She settled herself back in her original position, eyes straight ahead and back rigid. "You go ahead and hate me."

_I can take it._

* * *

 

The water was cool, goosebumps pebbling her skin as Maya sluiced it over her arms, splashed it on her face.

The stream was swollen after the rains, the water murkier than it would have otherwise been, but it would do, and for the first time in what felt like forever, Maya could _bathe._ All the women had been permitted to come to the stream and scrub away the dirt on their skin, even Sam, though she was under the watch of two sentries as she crouched in the slow flowing water, scrubbing her arms clean with a worn washcloth.

Lily was further upstream, surrounded by Kelly, Crystal and Penny. Lily had stripped down to her underwear and a stained vest top, washing herself with slow jerky movements, eyes downcast. The other women had rallied to her but didn't speak much, each concentrating on washing themselves and studiously ignoring Maya.

Maya was only a few meters away, but it felt like miles. There was a distance between her and the others now, unspoken but certainly there. Maya hadn't expected it from the other women, but she accepted it, setting up her own spot further down to wash alone. Lily needed them more than Maya did.

She felt no embarrassment in taking her top off, in wading out into the middle of the stream until it lapped above her knees to dunk herself into the cold water. She washed her hair best she could, ran her fingers through it to get the worst of the tangles out. The overcast sky threatened more rain, but for now it was dry, the forest drab and grey around them.

On the bank, Mickey sat, going through his own washing routine.

He was shirtless; rubbing himself down much like Sam was, though seemed more preoccupied with watching Maya and glaring at anyone who dared look over. To the two sheepish sentries and other women, it was an act of possession, a warning to stay clear. To Maya, his presence was more of a comfort, knowing that he wouldn't let anyone try and take a shot at any of them in their state of vulnerability like Jake had done.

Maya stared down at her shimmering reflection, frowning at the pale face that stared back. Even in the water she could see the dark discoloration around her throat, around her eyes. Anyone who looked over at her would see the damage; see the bruises along her back, hips, the purple fingerprints down the back of her thighs.

"The fuck you lookin' at?" Mickey growled, bristling on the bank. Maya glanced out of the corner of her eye to see one of the sentries hurriedly look the other way, gripping his rifle for dear life. The other women ducked their heads further, tightening their triangle around Lily.

Maybe that was really why they were avoiding her. Maya looked like a walking testament to Mickey's temper, a canvas that they had assumed he had beaten his frustrations into.

Maya kicked the surface of the water angrily, sending her reflection skittering.

Mickey zeroed in on the movement, getting to his feet worriedly. Maya shook her head at him, stooping to cup water with her hands to splash over her face again.

She hadn't had a chance to talk to him. She wasn't sure what she'd say, if there was anything else _to_ say. Lily had eventually gone back to sleep, and Maya had snatched an hours sleep herself, draping herself across Mickey's chest so if Lily tried anything, she'd have to get through Maya first. But the teen hadn't done anything; it seemed Maya's attempts at getting the girl to switch her anger had worked, and now, Maya bathed alone.

She could feel Lily's absence like a hole in her side, but Maya knew it was safer this way. She had seen Marcus and Ed that morning at breakfast, both men silent and withdrawn, but alive. Marcus had met her eyes but Ed had stared at the table blankly. For now, that was enough for Maya. They had played their parts, and as long as they continued to do so, they just might survive. Even despite the fact Ed hadn't been able to carry through on Jacob's execution, it seemed Job was pleased enough. Though both men were under guard, they were allowed out of their shed to work.

Maya had helped ensure the survival of her friends. So why did she feel so empty?

A minnow darted around her feet, swimming in to curiously mouth her toe. Maya shifted, the bottom of her foot sinking into the muddy bed of the stream. Another minnow followed suit, until Maya had a small shoal milling around her ankles, eating whatever debris she kicked up in her movements. A tiny reminder that life continued, despite all odds.

A zombie shifted somewhere in the trees. With a loud crack, one of the sentries put it down. Maya didn't pay it any attention, watching the minnows. One was larger than the rest, fat and shiny. It darted in towards her the most, eager for insects and mulch in the murky water.

"Well howdy-do ladies. Lovely day, 'aint it?"

Job's voice interrupted the tense silence, and Maya looked up as the other women huddled together amidst loud splashes. Sam stilled her movements, keeping her eyes firmly on the washcloth in her hands.

Job grinned at them, the stream lapping at his boots. Doc was at his side, a small brown bag held to his chest.

"Now I know it 'aint a man's place to interrupt a woman's beauty routine," Job continued, eyes crawling over Maya's naked chest and soaked, translucent, underwear. "But Maya, be a dear and come over 'ere will ya?"

Maya hesitated, glancing towards Mickey. The action seemed to anger Job, making his eyes darken and the smile drop from his mouth.

"I said get over 'ere," he snarled. "Don't make me ask twice."

Mickey glanced sharply at his brother, but motioned with one hand for Maya to approach.

Obediently, Maya waded over, water sloshing around her calves. She didn't bother covering her chest with her hands, instead pulling her drenched hair over her shoulders to drape over her breasts to give her some semblance of cover.

She didn't go to Job. She waded to Mickey's side, the mud pulling at the soles of her feet. The sentries were watching, curious at what was happening as Mickey offered her a hand. She accepted, wrapping her cold water slick fingers around his, grunting as he pulled her up out of the mud onto the bank, her sore body twinging.

Only then did she turn to Job, Mickey at her side.

If Maya had any hope of turning the tide of power away from Job, she needed to turn it towards Mickey. And the only way she could do that, was to defer to him over Job in front of the men.

And Job certainly didn't like it, judging by his stormy expression. Maya dropped her gaze to look at his boots, hiding a private vindictive smile.

"What's this about?" Mickey asked, impatient as always. He had scrubbed his skin hard, trying to wash away all traces of blood, and his arms and chest were a bright sore pink. His hair was wet like Maya's, trailing into his eyes, dripping down his cheeks.

Job motioned to Doc. The doctor was looking unhappily at the bag in his hands.

"Thought it 'bout time we start testin' her like we do the others. Picked up some more from town on the last run, so we got plenty."

Maya concentrated on breathing in through her nose, and exhaling slowly out her mouth. It helped the fear from pooling in her belly, the adrenaline from spiking in her veins.

"What fuckin' test?" Mickey demanded. "She 'aint in no shape to be fiddlin' with, Job."

Job chuckled, and Maya forced her hands to relax, to not form the fists they so desperately wanted to.

"Well I hope you're doin' _some_ fiddlin', Mickey. That's the whole point, remember?"

Job nudged Doc with his elbow. "And ol' Doc here is to make sure she don't try to get out of it, or use someone else's. Show him, Doc."

The brown bag crinkled as the old doctor reached inside, pulling out a box with bright colors printed on its packaging.

And God help her, Maya knew what it was.

_A fucking pregnancy test,_ she laughed hysterically to herself, lips clamped shut so no sound would escape her. _He's going to make me take a fucking pregnancy test, here? Now?_

Job was smiling again. Maya wanted nothing more than to bury her fist in his smug face.

"I gave you a month, Mickey. She's gonna take a test every four days like them others."

Maya couldn't help it; a snort broke through, drawing all three men's attention. Job scowled.

"Somethin' funny?"

Well she didn't have much else to lose. Maya raised her head.

"You don't just _zap,_ pregnant! It takes time, and a test won't pick up on if you even are until past ten days at the earliest."

Or, so she remembered from the kindly woman working at the family planning clinic when Maya had gone there as a panicked teenager.

"Well then you better get a move on, yeah?" Job said, obviously unhappy with her voicing an opinion. "For ol' Mickey's sake. If you 'aint by the end of the month, I'll have my go. Bet you'd love that, wouldn't ya?"

He took a step towards her, and Maya shrank away, letting him think he had that sort of power of her. Truthfully, Maya would rather find her rifle and eat the barrel before letting Job touch her. Better yet, make _Job_ eat that bullet.

Mickey wasn't any happier at her side. "Fine. Give it to me-"

"Naw," Job waved his hand, interrupting his brother. "Doc here is gonna make sure she 'aint gonna tamper with it, and _I'm_ 'ere to make sure _he_ 'aint gonna mess with it. That right, Doc?"

Doc nodded miserably. Mickey looked ready to protest more, but Maya had had enough. If Job wanted to watch her pee on a damn stick, fine. She hoped he enjoyed the view, the fucker.

"I'll take it, Doc." Maya plucked the box from Doc's shaking fingers, opening it and tilting the smooth white plastic stick into the palm of her hand. "I know how it works."

She turned towards Job. "Can I at least do this over in the trees?"

"Why?" Job sneered. "You shy?"

Maya ruthlessly quashed the surge of anger that rushed through her veins. "Yeah. I get stage fright when having to pee in front of people."

"Tough shit," Job smiled, crossing his arms. "Crouch and deliver, Torres."

_You don't get to call me that,_ Maya snarled silently, uncapping the pregnancy test. _You don't get to call me anything._

She walked a few paces away, barely a few yards really, but enough to fool herself into believing she had some sort of privacy. The tall grass along the banks would have to be good enough cover, though it would barely do any good. Cheeks flaming, but resolve determined, Maya crouched amongst them, sliding her sodden underwear down around her knees.

It was awkward, trying to keep her bare ass covered by the grass, and get the little stick in the appropriate position, but she managed after some shifting around. Luckily for her audience, she hadn't had a chance to relieve herself that morning, so the stage-fright didn't materialize.

To try and get her mind off what she was doing, she stared out at the stream, listening to the burbling of the water. She wondered if out there in the forest other animals had survived. Like the minnows, or the owl she had listened to last night, was nature out there, surviving?

Because that was all any of them could do at this point. Survive.

Finally finishing her task, Maya slid the stick out from between her legs, shimmying back into her cold wet underwear. Turning back towards the men, she snorted to see Mickey staring at the ground, Doc studying the sky.

Only Job had watched her, and he clucked his tongue at her as she walked back over, handing the stick to Doc.

"Now that weren't so bad, was it?"

Maya didn't deign him with a reply. She resumed her spot at Mickey's side.

Doc was looking at the test, his watch held in front of him. He wouldn't look at Maya, or at any of the other women.

_Not the first time he's done this,_ Maya thought sadly. _He's as much a prisoner as the rest of us._

"Sleep well, Mickey?" Job asked. There was that stupid grin again. "Can't imagine that lil' spitfire givin' you much rest after the show."

A show was all it was to him. Maya struggled to remain still and expressionless.

"Fine," Mickey said stiffly. "I slept fine."

"And you?" Job was all teeth as he turned to her, calculating eyes that traced her bare skin. "How'd you sleep, Maya?"

She hated it when he used her name. Like he had some sort of right to it, to her.

"Fine," she parroted. 

Job made a curious noise in his throat. "Interesting. Surprised that girl 'aint tried it on with you, brother. 'Course you know how to handle her if she does somethin'."

Doc cleared his throat, offering the test to Job. "It's negative."

Job sighed, but didn't take the test. "Well 'aint that just a damn shame. Expected somethin' better from you, Mickey."

Mickey just shrugged, a tick in his jaw betraying his true emotion. "Guess we'll just have to keep tryin'."

Apparently satisfied, Job whistled to Doc, turning and heading back to the house. Doc finally glanced sadly at Maya before following, slipping the test back into the brown paper bag.

Both Maya and Mickey watched them until they disappeared into the house. Only then did Mickey seem to breathe, exhaling forcefully. He turned towards her, reaching to touch her elbow.

"Maya-"

"Not here," she said quickly, glancing over her shoulder at the sentries and other women. Eyes hurriedly looked away from hers. "Further up."

Without waiting for him to acknowledge, she hurried along the bank, further down the stream and away from listeners. She picked a shallow spot, and waded back in, the cool water extinguishing the embarrassment that had flushed her skin. She kneeled in the water, knees digging into the soft mud. Her reflection was a mess of moving shapes, scattering as she flicked the water's surface.

Mickey sat down on the bank, cross-legged as he watched her. His boots and socks were back with his discarded shirt. There was a dark crimson spill on the shin of his jeans, and Maya resolutely did not look at it, didn't think about whose it was.

"'M sorry," he murmured. "Just when I think there 'aint nothin' else he could force on ya, he does."

The minnows had found her again, swarming around her. Maya tried to touch one, but they were quick, darting away from her.

She breathed out slowly. "He's serious about it. I mean tests every four days? Jesus. Mickey, we're going to have to-"

"No."

She looked up at him. Mickey's face was fierce, eyes glittering. The bruising around his eyes was healing slowly; it would probably be a few more days until it started to fade. Jeez, what a pair they made, battered and bruised. "With everythin' you've been through, don't you even think 'bout it."

Maya couldn't help it, she laughed. She kept it soft, not loud enough for the others to hear, but it still slipped out, causing Mickey's frown to deepen as water sloshed around her vibrating body.

"I'm sorry it's just…out of everything that's happened, _this_ is probably the easiest to think about."

Maya swept her hand through the water, watching as the water muddied further, the fish swooping in, wriggling past her fingers. "Some of my friends are dead, Mickey. A man tried to kill _me_. I think now is the perfect time to think about this. About…about us."

"And I said no!" Mickey's back was up like a hissing tomcat, prickly and unyielding. "No, I won't. I fuckin' won't."

"You told me that I had a choice," Maya reminded him, and she could see the moment he remembered, the shudder in his shoulders as he relived their charade from the night before.

"You do." He composed himself, expression serious, jaw clenched and pale eyes hard as flint. "I meant it. 'Aint no-one gonna force you."

"And what if this is my choice?" Maya asked, slapping the water in frustration. The minnows fled. "You don't think I've thought of every outcome, every possibility? I have. Last night, waiting for Lily to try and _kill you,_ I thought. I came up with a dozen escape plans and not a single one will work. This is it. If I don't do this, I can't keep anyone safe."

Mickey looked at her helplessly. "But-"

"Job will take me away, Mickey." She stared him down, _willed_ him to understand. She could do a lot, could survive a lot, but she wouldn't survive that. "You know he will. He'll fuck me himself and I can't…don't do that to me. Please, don't do that to me."

Mickey ran a hand through his wet hair, frustrated. "I'll…we'll take one o' the trucks. All of us, somehow we'll just…just go-"

"And get how far?" Maya demanded. "He'll chase us down, you said it yourself. He has contacts. And out there isn't much safer."

"Then, what?" Mickey erupted, hands fisting in the damp grass along the stream bank. "What, Maya? We do this and then what? How the hell are we…what am I-"

He bit off his words, staring down at the water angrily.

"I don't know," Maya said truthfully. "But I guess we'll have nine months to figure it out, won't we?"

The words settled between them like something tangible. Mickey shuddered, curling in on himself like the night before. He looked vulnerable, so unlike the usual explosive Wilkerson he was supposed to be.

"A baby, Maya," he said quietly. "You…me… _ours."_

Maya awkwardly moved towards him on her knees, reaching out to rest a hand on his leg. "I know what I'm asking. I know it's awful but-"

"Awful?" he laughed bitterly, surprisingly her. "Jesus, woman it's probably the only thing I've ever wanted with a woman like you, and never thought I'd have."

Momentarily struck dumb by his honesty, Maya stumbled for words. He took her silence for judgement, twisting away from her, ready to get up and flee. "Never mind. Weren't noth-"

" _Sit down_."  

It was her army voice, and Mickey immediately obeyed, falling silent and still. Maya collected her thoughts, choosing her words carefully. This wasn't exactly the best place to have this conversation, her seated in cold water mostly naked, but here it was. If they didn't tackle this now, they probably never would.

And as Job had so helpfully insinuated, time was a-ticking.

"Mickey, you heard what Job said," she said.

Mickey's face twisted. " _Fuck_ , Job."

Despite the heavy topic, a smile curled on Maya's lips. "That's what I'm trying to avoid actually. Thing is, I finally get it. We're not going to escape this tomorrow, or next week, or next month even. We need to give ourselves some time to figure something out. Even if that means…well, this."

Mickey was at least looking at her again, searching her face intently.

"Do you even like me?"

Maya squinted at him, wondering if she wasn't the only one who had been concussed. "The hell kind of question is that?"

"A damn good one," Mickey said seriously. "I…I need to know that I'm not…forcin' this on you. Though…fuck, I know its forced it's just-"

Again, he trailed off, lost for words. Maya let the silence settle, both of them thinking their own thoughts.

"Mickey," she finally said, drawing his attention. She reached for his hand, hesitating for only a moment before interlocking their fingers, squeezing.  "If I didn't like you, I would have killed you in your sleep long before now."

He snorted, but returned the gesture, reaching for her other free hand. Boldly, Maya continued as he ran his fingers over her knuckles, warming her cold skin.

"There aren't many men who would have done what you've done for me. For us. I consider myself lucky enough to have known several good men in my life, and I consider you one."

He opened his mouth to argue and she glared at him sternly. "When I said together, I meant it. And it's not because I feel grateful to you, or I feel like I owe you, though I probably really do."

She made a sound of irritation. "I'm not…I'm not the best at words, but I guess what I'm trying to say is,  I don't know what's in store, and I can't lie and say I ever wanted to be a mother but…"

She squeezed his hands again with a shy smile, heart suddenly thumping nervously. It made a welcome change from the emptiness that had consumed her all night. "As far as baby daddies go, you're my first choice."

He stared at her. "I think that's the most romantic shit anyone's ever said to me."

"Oh _you_ -" Maya tugged her hands free to punch his arm. "I'm serious!"

Mickey laughed, eyes crinkling, catching her half-hearted blows easily. It made something warm unfurl in her chest, small and hopeful. She had missed seeing him smile. "Put damn Shakespeare to shame."

"Yeah?" Maya tapped his arm one last time. "Well smartass, there you have it."

Mickey glanced back towards the others. The grasses hid them from view, probably only the tops of their heads were visible. He pulled on Maya's hands, wrapping her in a hug as she hauled herself up into his lap, cold skin on warm. Water soaked his jeans, but neither cared. It was easy to fit her soft curves against his harder angles, to tangle her fingers into his beard and tug playfully as if they were lovers brought together by choice.

"I killed Jacob," Mickey murmured against her wet hair.

Maya shivered. "Yes you did."

"You don't hate me."

"No. I never did."

Mickey watched the stream move by over the top of her head. "If we do this, if I…if I get you… _pregnant…"_

He swallowed as if the words hurt physically to say. "There's no goin' back. No matter what happens, if you get away, there's a kid. I won't…I won't be able to let you go."

Maya shifted in his arms, arranging herself more comfortably. "I'm not asking you to."

"You'd have me?" he asked, surprised. He pulled away enough to look at her, to search her face. "Even if you got away with all them others?"

She met his gaze with her own. "Even then."

She meant it. This wasn't something she would go into lightly, and she knew he wouldn't either. It wasn't perfect, nothing about the situation was, but they could make it work somehow.

They had to.

His grey eyes were soft as he bent to kiss her, his hands gentle where he held her bruised flesh. A promise whispered between them, a pact that only they would know about. To the rest of the world they would only be doing what was expected, but this...this was  _theirs._

_It_ would be theirs.

Maya wrapped her arms around his neck, yielding beneath the light press of his lips.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warings: Sex! Unprotected sex! And overlong chapter jeeeez. Longest sex scene I've ever written.*hides*

* * *

 

 

The weather held, so it was outside that lunch was served, another gamey broth made with old rice and slices of stale bread. Kelly took over the role Sarah left behind, ordering the women into various tasks. Lily was kept by the fire again, helping ladle the lumpy brown liquid into bowls. Maya helped Penny and Crystal serve it, and this time no man tried to grab her. Sam was absent, most likely with Doc in the basement, and Maya just tried not to think about why.

The men were in high spirits after the spectacle the night before, talking in loud voices and laughing. Job was surrounded like a king, laughing as loudly as the rest of the men. Even though they had lost some of their own in the attack, Job had managed to preoccupy them. It was a good tactic, Maya had to begrudgingly acknowledge, keeping your soldiers satisfied and distracted.

Maya ducked her head and hurried from table to table, dealing out bread and refilling water from an old bent plastic bottle. She avoided Job, and tried to keep her mind off _why_ the men were so happy.

She saw Marcus and Ed again, under the watchful eye of three beefy looking men. They were fed separately from the others, under suspicion still, but they were okay. Marcus tried to catch her eye, but Maya didn't dare try and communicate anything with Job nearby, so she kept her head down and continued her work.

She saw them go towards the barn after they were done, no doubt to do more repairs.

Only after all the men had eaten, were the women permitted to do so as well. They all gathered around the fire, cross-legged and quiet as they ate. Maya didn't bother trying to join them. She took her own bowl a little ways away to perch on a bench, but still able to watch over the group.

Crystal was speaking in low tones to Lily, who just stared into the depths of her bowl blankly as Penny sat beside her, now and then rubbing Lily's arm comfortingly.

Maya watched them, forcing herself to eat. The food was tasteless in her mouth, her stomach too twisted into knots to enjoy it.

After, they cleaned up all the bowls and glasses, piling it into an old tub by the outhouse. It had filled with rainwater which made the task easier, and Maya accepted the task, plunging her hands into the chilled water. They had some liquid soap liberated from the town, and she had squirted a generous amount, suds dribbling down her forearms when she pulled them free.

A sudden touch against the nape of her neck made her jump, water splashing as she twisted.

"Woah, just me," Mickey murmured, not moving his hand. Maya huffed, turning back to her work. She had rolled up the sleeves of her shirt but still manage to get everything soaked.

"I should get you a bell," she muttered, looking up through her eyelashes towards the other women. Crystal had taken note, watching the two of them worriedly. The others just kept their eyes down on scrubbing tables. "Worse than a damn cat."

Mickey chuckled, but the sound was strained. His knee bumped the back of her arm and she nudged him back with her elbow.

"Where were you at lunch? You missed a truly terrible meal."

Mickey sighed. "Those bastards did a number on our defenses that we gotta fix. Cut fences, destroyed some o' the traps we set up. Job thinks we gotta a mole in the group that tipped 'em off."

Maya forced herself not to react, keeping her movements steady as she dunked another bowl. "Great. So we can expect more attacks soon?"

"Could be. Job made noises 'bout doin' a recruitment run."

"Kidnapping, you mean," Maya said, knuckles white where she gripped the bowl. "Just men or…?"

Mickey's fingers squeezed the back of neck lightly. "Both."

"Dammit," Maya sagged, the bowl slipping deeper into the water as she breathed out. Her hands were shaking. "God- _dammit_."

She felt Mickey crouch down beside her, hand still on her neck. "I dunno what his plans for rootin' the mole out are, but knowin' my brother, it 'aint gonna be pretty."

"But of course. The bloodier, the better right?"

Mickey reached into the tub as if to check her work. Under the suds his fingers brushed the back of her hand. "He's got more to worry 'bout than you and the girl now."

"Hopefully," Maya sighed, taking his hand under the water. That morning crouching in the grass hadn't left her, embarrassment still crawling up her cheeks any time she thought of it. "He seemed pretty interested in me this morning."

Mickey grunted, giving her hand one last squeeze before releasing and sliding free of the water. He wiped his wet hand down the thigh of his jeans.

"Thought you should know. Maybe talk to the girl, let her-"

"That's not going to happen." Maya stared down into the murky water. "She's not…we're…not on speaking terms."

"'Cause o' me."

"Because of a lot of things. It's for the best right now."

Maya flicked her hands, disturbing the dishwater and sloshing it against the tub sides. "Where can she sleep tonight that's safe?"

Mickey frowned at her, getting back to his feet. Maya looked up at him, squinting slightly against the bright sky.

"Why she gotta sleep someplace else?"

Maya bit down on the laugh trying to force its way out of her throat. If she started now, she wasn't sure she'd ever stop, just laugh herself into broken pieces that would never fit together again.

"Well I like to think myself adventurous but not like _that._ I'd rather not have an audience while we do it."

Mickey stared down at her, perplexed. "It bein'-"

"Sex," Maya said bluntly, not batting an eye. "Thought we agreed on that earlier."

Mickey looked like she had sucker-punched him, inhaling sharply. "Jesus, I didn't think you meant _right away_ -"

Maya did let a light chuckle out at that, but reined herself in quickly. "Not like we have a lot of time, Mickey. Pregnancy is all about timing, and what with the end of the world and being kidnapped, its not like I've been keeping track of my cycles."

"Cycles," Mickey said weakly, looking pale. "Right."

She took pity on him, patting his knee with a soapy hand. "Just get Lily somewhere safe for the night and I'll do the rest."

She turned back to the tub, where cutlery winked at her from the dirty water, uncaring of her earthly problems. Mickey nodded, dazed.

"Sure. Yeah. I'll…go do that," he managed faintly. "I'll uh…just…go then."

Maya glanced over towards where Lily. The girl was helping Penny wipe down the last of the tables. She would occasionally look up, towards Maya, but quickly looked down again.  

Mickey touched her shoulder, curling his fingers around the curve of her joint. "I'll…see you tonight."

Maya picked up the dropped bowl, resuming her scrubbing with nerveless fingers.

"Tonight."

 

* * *

 

The evening found Maya scrubbing the kitchen floor, hands cramping and knees creaking against the hard floor. Somewhere in the afternoon her head had begun hurting again, a grim reminder that up until yesterday she had been knocked out cold, and she battled with the pain pulsing behind her eyes.

She had managed to not think about it too much, but with night finally falling, she couldn't shy away from what she was going to do.

She was going to go up those stairs, lie down on that uncomfortable floor, and let Mickey Wilkerson try to impregnate her.

_Well it sounds so sexy when you put it that way._

She sighed, sitting back on her heels, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. A battery-powered lantern flooded the small room with yellow light, and spots danced in front of her eyes if Maya stared at it too long.

She was scared, could feel her heart's nervous shudders, the weakness in her muscles that seemed to constantly threaten to send her sprawling. She knew this was the best solution but…still…

A baby? She might have a _baby?_

With a growl Maya tackled the floor again, practically grinding the already sparse bristles into dust.

She couldn't think that far ahead. Thinking that far ahead meant that she'd _be_ here that long. No, Maya had every intention of leaving this place, baby or no. And hadn't she just that morning said to Mickey that she wanted him to come with her?

Maya threw the brush down. God she was all over the place. The minute something started making sense, something else fucked up. She just needed to concentrate on one thing at a time. That was easier.

"Maya?"

Maya turned, still on her knees. Crystal hovered on the porch wreathed in shadow, peering in through the screen door.

"Lily?" Maya asked, alarmed, struggling to stand up. "Is she-"

"She's fine," Crystal said quickly, opening the screeching door and stepping inside. "I…I came to see you."

Maya breathed out slowly. "You sure she's safe without you?"

Crystal smiled. "She's okay. But are you?"

Maya shrugged, looking down at her hands. "Better than her I bet."

Crystal looked around the clean kitchen. "You've done a good job. Sarah…she would have been proud."

Maya felt a twinge of guilt. In all the chaos, she hadn't spared much of a thought for the lost women.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "About Janet, Sarah…I'm sorry I couldn’t do anything."

Crystal shook her head. Her long brown hair was tied up in a ponytail, made her look like a teenager. She was so much younger than Maya, yet had dealt with horrors Maya hadn't. "They're in a better place now. And hopefully that bastard Jake isn't. Lily told us what happened with him out there. I'm…I'm glad you stopped him."

Maya's throat tingled at the memory. "I'm not so sure I did much good. The zombie that got him did most of it I bet."

Crystal looked at her curiously. "The zombs didn't get him. Mickey did."

Maya froze. "What?"

Crystal hopped up to sit on one of the counters, almost sending the lantern clattering to the floor. Her jeans were even more torn than Maya's, sagging in the hips and gaping in the knees. "Job said he was bit, but I helped bury the bodies and I couldn't see no bite. But I saw the marks 'round his neck. Mickey near popped the bastard's eyes out he squeezed so hard."

Maya touched her throat, mouth dry. Crystal watched her reaction, legs swinging slowly.

"He's a dangerous man, Maya. Possessive. But I guess you already knew that. Geez, look at you. I can barely look at you and _not_ wince."

Maya swallowed. "Thanks."

Crystal huffed a laugh. "I'm not saying all this to make you feel bad. I was wrong about you, Maya. You're a strong woman, you pulled through. And I know what you're doing to Lily, _why_ you're distancing yourself."

"And why's that?" Maya bit out. If Crystal was catching on, then God, what if Job was too? What if-

"'Cause you love her. You wanna protect her. Mickey's on you like a bee on honey, and you wanna keep it that way. If Lily gets it into her head to try and get back at him for her brother, then all bets are off. He'll beat her like he beats you."

Maya relaxed a fraction. Their ruse wasn't up.

Crystal sighed. "We're rallyin' to her 'cause she needs us. But not one of us hates you and I wanted you to know that. We understand."

She slid off the counter. "And you don't need to worry about Lily tonight. She'll be sleeping with us in the basement."

"Is that safe?" Maya asked sharply. The thought of Lily down there where Job could so easily creep…

Crystal smiled reassuringly, sensing Maya's thoughts. "Job doesn't come creeping when Penny's up with him. Plus Doc'll be there and Job knows better than to mess with him when there's women down there."

Maya was surprised. By everything she'd seen, Doc was as docile a slave as the rest of them. Maybe all of them were playing various roles, appearing a certain way to certain people. A masquerade, all of them hiding behind subservient masks.

The thought actually made her feel a bit better.

"Thanks, then." Maya offered her hand, and with a chuckle, Crystal took it. "I…I really appreciate it Crystal."

The young brunette clasped Maya's hand between her own. "I just…you'll be alright, Maya. Mickey's a brute, but you've got him hooked. Just do what he wants, and you'll be okay. I'm just surprised he's doing Lily a kindness and not making her watch."

Maya's face flushed. So everyone knew what was going to go on in Mickey's room tonight. Wonderful.

"He's…he's not all bad."

Crystal snorted, letting Maya go. "You only got to lie to yourself, not me."

Maya watched the other woman leave, the screen door banging behind her as she was swallowed up by the night. Maya stood in the silent kitchen, taking deep breaths.

Outside, the humming of insects had started. The rains had brought with it a new hatching of bug life, and though many of the men had complained bitterly all day, Maya found it comforting. As a kid she had listened to the crickets outside her window and watched fireflies before falling asleep. Now it was just one small measure of comfort, a nostalgic memory that gave her scattered thoughts some calm.

She retrieved her brush, setting it beside the lantern on the counter. The light dimmed beneath her fingers, clicking off and plunging her into darkness. Maya didn't need it to find her way, her feet traced the path to Mickey's room easily, the stairs greeting her with familiar creaks and groans.

At the top of the stairs she paused, letting her eyes adjust to the dark. Mickey's room as at the end of the peeling corridor, two other doors closed tightly. One was Job's, the other…she'd rather not know.

Maya moved forward, reaching out to rest her sweaty palm on Mickey's door knob.

She counted to ten, until her heart felt like it wasn't trying to leap through her throat, then twisted and pushed.

The room had been tidied up during the day, Mickey's doing probably. Lily's bed lay in the corner untouched, but everything else had been carefully re-boxed, tucked away. Maya didn't bother turning the small lantern on, instead padding over to the camping mat she and Mickey had been sharing. She stared down at it, a flurry of emotions all conflicting for dominance.

So it was here, she was going to give up her freedom. Here, she was going to willingly bind herself to a man she knew had murdered at least two people.

Maya unbuttoned her shirt. Her fingers were sure, no hint of shaking. Stripping it off, she dropped it onto the mat. She had gone bra-less, and couldn't find it in her to be embarrassed about it. She stooped to unlace her boots, toeing them off and kicking them into the corner. The jeans went next, discarded beside the wooden chair. Clad only in underwear, Maya went hunting for the extra blanket, picking up a few of Mickey's shirts as well.

She set to work, positioning the blanket over the mat, arranging some of Mickey's shirts around it to create a more comfortable -

"Love nest," Maya mused out-loud, pushing the shirts into a more pleasing shape. "I'm making a fucking love nest."

After some re-arranging, Maya was happy. Gingerly she lowered herself onto her creation, wriggling to get more comfortable. She combed her fingers through her hair, letting it hang long and down her back.

Then, she waited.

She breathed in the darkness, counted the beats of her heart, the rise and fall of each breath. She focused inward until every nerve was soothed, every worried thought was eased. She listened to the singing of the insects outside, and lulled herself into a state of peace where nothing existed beyond the room. No zombies. No Lily. No _Job._ In here, she was just a woman, and Mickey would just be a man.

Boots echoed on the stairs. Maya's heart lurched, and she shifted where she was sat. Moonlight splashed across her legs, seeping in through the window. It made the room light enough to see by and Maya wanted that.

She didn't want to hide from this, she wanted to see and _feel_.

The boots paused outside the door, the room heavy with expectation. Maya found she was holding her breath, and forced herself to exhale, to breathe normally.

Slowly, the door creaked open, Maya's heart shuddering against her ribs.

"Maya?"

Mickey's voice was pitched low, unsure. He pushed into the room, halting as he noticed Maya in her nest, the long lines of her bare legs in the moonlight.

"I'm here," she said softly. Her voice sounded sure, unwavering. Not at all like her insides, her quivering stomach and pounding heart.

Mickey stepped into the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. It clicked shut, sealing them inside.

He stared down at her, his pale eyes almost luminous in the dim light. Maya stared back at him with her own dark ones. She wondered what he thought when he looked at her like this. Did she look like a victim through his eyes, or a woman willing?

"You uh-" he cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously. "You're serious 'bout this."

Maya rose, much more graceful and fluid-like than she had thought herself capable of. "I am."

She stepped over the blankets, reaching for him. He stayed perfectly still, didn't move as she went for the buttons on his flannel shirt, undoing them one by one. She remembered how she had torn his shirt the night before, sending buttons scattering in all directions, and took her time now, running her fingertips over each smooth circle.

"Not nervous, are you?" she murmured, unbuttoning the final one and sliding the shirt from his broad shoulders. He helped her, shrugging as she pulled.

"Terrified," he admitted as she tossed the shirt, smoothing her hands down his now bare arms. His skin was warm, and she dragged her palms along his forearms, against the coarse hair that covered them.

Maya hummed, changing direction to caress his shoulders, his chest. Muscles jumped beneath her palms, but still he didn't move, just let her touch him as she pleased. How many women had touched him like this? How many hands had traced the same paths she now followed?

Maya pressed herself close, nudging her nose into the hollow of this throat. He smelled like the stream, like grass just after a rain and she kissed his pulse point, relishing the nervous swallow that made his throat bob beneath her lips. But he tasted like a man, and Maya bit lightly at his skin, trailing her hands up his sides.

He shuddered, finally placing his hands lightly on her hips, thumbs gently caressing the divots beneath her hip bones. Maya was a tall woman, but Mickey was taller still, and he seemed to eclipse her, bending down to find her lips in the dark. The kiss was chaste; a simple press of lips but Maya felt it down to her toes. She loved how gentle he could be, how at odds it was with his hot-tempered persona. It made a jagged spike of arousal pierce her belly, made her thighs quiver.

Mickey pulled away, and with his hands still on her hips, encouraged her backwards. Maya went where he directed her, feet sinking into the blankets she had arranged, the window sill pressing just into the tender skin at the back of her thighs.

"Can I?" he asked, beard whispering against her neck as he kissed her jaw.

She didn't know what he meant, but nodded all the same, senses sharpening as he dropped to his knees in front of her. He placed a light kiss below her belly button and Maya chuckled, resting her hands on his shoulders as his hands slid to gently grasp her thighs.

Maya shifted her weight to lean more on the window sill as Mickey pulled her thighs apart, his mouth hot where he mouthed one hip bone.

She felt the wet drag of his tongue, and Maya jolted with a squeak, one hand sliding to cup the back of his neck. She could feel him smile against her as he moved to her other hip, lavishing it with the same. He pressed a line of kisses down to the strip of skin above the waist of her panties, then stopped, warm breath washing over her.

Maya pinched the skin at his neck.

"Never took you for a tease, Wilkerson."

Mickey slid his hands up the back of her thighs, leaning up on his knees. He looked concerned, watching her face for any hints of discomfort.

"I'm just…are you sure? 'Cause it's alright-"

"Mickey," Maya said impatiently, nudging his chest with a knee. "I appreciate the gallant gentleman side of you very much, but I think I'm in need of something a bit more primal."

His eyes were laughing at her, even as he dropped another kiss on her belly.

"As my lady commands."

Maya yelped, knocked off balance as he pulled one of her legs over his shoulder, hands firm as he held her steady. Maya leaned heavily on the window sill, watching with hooded eyes as Mickey bit down on the elastic band of her underwear, dragging it away from her skin.

She bit her lip and grunted as he released it, letting the elastic snap back against her. The sting made her skin redden, and he soothed it with his tongue.

Maya shifted her hips, curling towards him. She could feel her body responding, the heat gathering in her belly and radiating from her skin.

Mickey made a noise of appreciation, and Maya struggled to keep still as he kissed her through the underwear, tongue flicking against her. She felt oversensitive, even with the layer between them and hissed, sweeping her hands up the sides of his neck and into his hair.

His hands kept her still, spread along the back of her thighs as he buried his nose into her, lips moving restlessly along the shape of her beneath the fabric.

Maya let him, sighing as she surrendered, tightening her hold on his hair when he released her with one hand to pull her underwear to the side, tongue licking one long hot strip against naked flesh.

She convulsed at the sensation, groaning as he pressed closer, burying himself into her welcoming warmth. Her fingernails scratched lightly at his scalp, encouraged him on, as he worked at devouring her completely.

She vocalized her appreciation when he curled his tongue actually _inside her_ , thigh trembling where it pressed against his ear. She didn't know what to do with her hands, restlessly combing and pulling at his hair as he coaxed a litany of random words out of her. She barely noticed the bite of the window sill against her ass, was only aware of the hot slide of his tongue.

 _I could come just from this,_ she realized with a contented sigh.

But there was something she wanted more. Smiling she pulled him away from her by his hair, extracting her thigh from his shoulder. He looked up at her confused, and Maya felt her lower belly throb at the sight of his slick lips.

"Wha-"

She bent down, cutting him off with a kiss. She could taste herself on his tongue, a musk that was uniquely hers and he groaned into her mouth, fingers digging into the tender skin of her thighs.

She managed to cajole him to his feet, shifting until they had reversed their positions, Mickey now leaning against the sill. Maya reached down to cup him through his jeans, traced the rigid interested line of him. He shuddered, tangling his hand into her hair.

"Darlin' you drive me fuckin' crazy."

Maya smiled, fingers deftly undoing the button on his jeans. "Just you wait."

She was glad for the soft nest she had made as she kneeled, the blanket cushioning her tired joints. She copied what he had done to her, kissing his belly, rubbing her cheek on the coarse hair that trailed down beneath his navel. There was a silvery scar just above one hipbone, a knife slash by the look of it, and Maya pressed her lips to it, mouthed along its raised lines.

She wrestled his jeans down his thighs, surprised to find he was boxer-less.

"Huh. Thought you'd get lucky?" she arched an eyebrow up at him, even as she curled a hand around his burning flesh.

Mickey choked, hips thrusting into the tight circle of her fist.

"Fuck!"

"That's the idea."

Maya leaned in, pressing a kiss to the tip of him. She almost laughed at the garbled mess of words that were choked out above her, opting instead to return the favor paid to her, flattening her tongue and exploring the full length of him.

She felt inexperienced, but went at it with enthusiasm, sliding her lips over him and hollowing her cheeks. It was an awkward angle, but Maya forgot about the discomfort, palming the twitching muscles of his ass as she buried her nose into the rough curls at the base of him, relaxing her throat to fit him all inside her mouth.

It felt good, the heavy weight of him against her tongue. He tasted of _Mickey_ , and Maya's cheeks flushed, the fabric between her legs uncomfortably slick.

She looked up at him through her lashes to find him watching her intently, lips parted and chest heaving. He shuddered as he noticed her gaze, fingers tightening on her hair.

"God Maya, you look-"

Maya swirled her tongue and his head fell back with a grunt. Her hands roamed, moved over his hips, to his flat stomach as she worked her mouth over him.

Eventually he stopped her, and she pulled off him with a pop, Mickey hissing as she licked her lips.

"If you do that anymore, this'll be a damn short evenin'," he muttered, dragging her up his body to kiss her. He tried to toe off his boots, and both of them nearly went tripping to the floor. With a growl he released her long enough to angrily pull his boots off, throwing them. The socks went flying after them, and the jeans after that. Maya stifled a giggle, shimmying out of her underwear. She pinged it somewhere in the direction of Mickey's boots, and then there they were, fully naked in front of each other.

Maya fought the urge to cover herself. Mickey had seen her breasts of course but this…this felt more intimate.

"You're so fuckin' gorgeous," Mickey said huskily as he stepped towards her. Maya sighed happily as he pressed up against her, a kiss landing on her temple.

"You are too, you know," she informed him as he led her back to the nest she had made. "You're one _very_ nice all round package."

Mickey smiled smugly as he lay her down, hovering above her. "I've got a package all right."

Maya laughed, loud and joyful. Pleased, Mickey watched her, stroking her flank.

He had a dimple when he smiled, Maya realized. Just a small divot on one cheek you could barely see through the coarseness of his beard. But it was there, and Maya claimed it as her own, leaning up to kiss him, to push herself into his mouth as surely as he had pushed himself into her thoughts.

Her legs parted eagerly as he touched her, stroking gently. He broke the seal of their lips, eyes wicked as he took in her flushed face and heaving breasts. He shuffled on his knees, Maya's legs dropping open around his thighs.

"You gonna spread open, for me darlin'?" he purred, fingers dipping lower. "You're so wet for me, Jesus."

And she was. Maya arched her back, pushing her chest up as he slid a finger inside her, barely relieving the ache that was insistently opening up within her. Mickey inhaled sharply, finger thrusting into her, and Maya hauled herself up to kiss his jaw, letting her teeth scrape against his skin. Her hands held onto his biceps, anchoring herself as he spread her open with another finger, thumb flicking against her clit and sparking fireworks  under her skin.

He pushed her down onto her back, dropping his head to mouth at her breasts, tongue flicking her nipple. The marks Jake had left on her had mostly healed to light bruises, and Mickey kissed each mark that peppered her chest. Maya shifted her hips restlessly, the stimulation almost too much. She raised her legs, squeezing him.

"Now," she moaned, head tossed back. Mickey bit down lightly on her nipple, sending her body into a spasm." Mickey, _now."_

He reared up, sinking back on his heels. His fingers slid out of her, leaving her empty and Maya growled. Mickey just laughed, captured her wrists in one hand and pinning her arms above her head, the bones of her wrists as fragile as a bird's under his coarse grip. To her shame, Maya felt her arousal spike at the show of strength, at the thought that he could overpower her if he wanted. That right now, she would let him.

"Last chance," Mickey's words were strained, his own control slipping as Maya pulled her legs up, knees hugging his ribs. Wantonly she rubbed herself against him, circling her hips. "'Cause there won't be no stoppin' if we do this."

Maya wiggled under him, eyes glittering. "What part of get inside me and _fuck me,_ are you not getting?"

Above her, Mickey _snarled,_ thrusting his hips against her. Maya surged to meet him in a punishing kiss, shuddering at the heavy weight of him pressing up against her.  

God she wanted him. He was powerful, dangerous. He had _killed_ for her, but in her hands, under her mouth he was _hers._ Hers to do with, what she pleased.

And she very much _pleased_ to fuck, now.

Keeping her wrists pinned with one hand, Mickey spread her open with the other, nudging her thighs further apart with his hips.

The first press of him into her burned and Maya bit her lip, tilting her hips to alleviate the pain. He slowed, pushing in slow, slow, a steady invasion that left Maya gasping, tears pearling at the corners of her eyes. It had been a while, but her body eventually adjusted, opening up as he stilled, hips flush against hers, all the way inside. She could feel his heart beating against her chest, the hot pants of his breath against her hair. He released her wrists, hands going to her hipbones.

"You okay?" he asked, voice strangled. "You're so fuckin' tight, am I hurtin-"

Experimentally, Maya thrust her pelvis.

Both of them moaned, the pain dissolving into a slick slide of pleasure. She felt full, filled to bursting, and she clung to his shoulders as he slowly pulled out, then pushed back into her.

"Fuck," she breathed, digging her heels into the back of his thighs. "Fuck me, please. _Please."_

That seemed to unravel the last weak threads of Mickey's self-control, and he thrust into her hard, making Maya keen, fingernails digging red indents into his skin. Mickey set the pace and all Maya could do was hold on, squeezing him tight with her arms and legs. The steady slaps of flesh on flesh in the room only inflamed her further, made her gasp up into his mouth, the sweet fire between her legs growing with each thrust.

His hand toyed with her where they were joined, rough calluses dragging over her over-sensitive skin. Maya bore down on him, eyes screwed shut and mouth open in a silent scream as her orgasm sideswiped her in a sudden wave of pleasure, muscles clamping down him. Mickey shouted, jerking against her only a few more times before coming himself, liquid heat splashing against her insides.

Maya shuddered, riding out the waves with small undulations of her hips, milking him dry. Above her Mickey was breathing like he'd run a mile, dropping his head to her shoulder as he rocked with her movements.

She could feel the warmth inside of her, and she throbbed in time with him, too elated to care about embarrassment.

Maya blew out a shaky breath, turning to kiss the shell of Mickey's ear.

"I…I can't feel my legs," she announced.

Mickey chuckled, easing out of her with a hiss. He rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling, dazed.

"I can't feel _anythin'._ "

Exhausted, Maya slapped her hand down beside her, grabbing a mound of shirts, raising her hips to jam them under her. The angle forced her pelvis to tilt upwards, and Mickey watched her curiously, chest heaving.

"What's that for?"

Maya sluggishly wiggled into a comfortable position, feet flat on the floor. "Saw it on an episode on TV once. Gravity helps with…you know."

He looked amused. "That so?"

He rolled, slinging an arm across her belly to pin her down. He shifted closer, pressing his cheek against her lower abdomen and Maya groaned, tired but still stupidly turned on as he touched her, fingers sliding in their combined fluids.

"What are you- _Mickey!_ "

He looked unaffected, rubbing his cheek against her belly as he pushed two fingers into her.

"Better make sure it all gets in there then," he rumbled, and all Maya could do was writhe, biting down on the palm of her hand to stifle her cries.

He dragged another orgasm out of her, working her patiently until she lit up from the inside, muscles spasming around his fingers and a shout rattling in her dry throat.

He slid into her with no resistance at all after that, and Maya felt boneless, body absorbing each thrust, greedy for more, always more. She wrapped her arms around him, biting desperate love marks into his neck and shoulders.

"In the mornin'," Mickey grunted, taking and taking, and Maya just _gave_.  The room was filled with the obscene noises of sex, and Maya knew the room would smell of them, knew she'd smell of _him_ tomorrow. "I'm gonna fuck you from behind. Mount you like a bitch in heat, breed you till you can't walk."

God it was filthy and horrible and…Maya loved it, riding another wave of pleasure as she came again, head thudding against the mat.

He kissed the offered line of her throat, shoving hard inside her as he came as well, filling her up for the second time.

Maya couldn't do anything but take it, groaning, barely able to lift her head. He kissed her closed eyes, pulling out and grabbing one of the shirts. He wiped the both of them down, Maya merely grunting when he gave her a quick wipe between the legs.

"No fair," she muttered. "You're still moving."

Mickey flopped down with a contented stretch, tossing the shirt away. "Not for long. _Fuck_."

Maya sloppily rolled, and Mickey made room for her, raising his arm so she could cuddle up beside him.

"We're doing that again," Maya yawned, not caring that Mickey's skin was sweaty beneath her cheek. "Multiple times. Forever."

"Amen to that," Mickey grunted, pulling her close. "Forever sounds pretty damn good to me. God, Maya. I…just, _fuck._ There's no way in hell I'll ever be able to let ya go."

Maya didn't hear him, she had already slipped into an exhausted sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Started a new job so finding time to write is hard. Sigh.

* * *

 

 

Mickey wondered if this is what heaven felt like.

Thighs slick with sweat squeezed around his hips, Maya's lips on his, demanding she be allowed to drink her fill. The friction of their (fourth? fifth? He'd lost count) coupling bordering on painful. Her heels dug into the back of his thighs, spurring him on and Mickey's arms shook as he held himself over her, in her.

In the cool grey light of morning Mickey had expected her to shy from him like a spooked horse. To push him away and call it a job done. But she had tugged him on her instead, eyes bright and skin hot.

Like the night before, Mickey touched her. He still imagined blood on his hands, sticky globules that would stain her like it stained him. He half expected her bones to splinter under his palms like Jacob's had, could still hear the cracks echoing in his ears.

Didn't she know better? Anyone who tried to love a Wilkerson got ripped to fucking pieces. His mama had paid that price. Jacob had. Maya would too, he'd break her like he broke the boy and if she had a damn brain her in her pretty head she'd run hard and fast for the hills.

But she didn't. She came to his bed like it was a choice, like she had decided for herself. And Mickey…he was too much a damn coward to make her leave it. He was weak, always was when it came to her. He shoulda said no, that something as heavy as what they were doing was a shit plan as any but…he didn't. She'd suffer one way or another cause of him, and still he took her, still fucked himself into her like he belonged there, like he could make her his.

And she came alive under him. His fingers didn't smear blood, her bones strong as he wrapped too hard hands around her wrists. There was just them, her hot gaze and sweet cries. Her arms around his neck when he let her go, and her mouth whispering things that made his toes curl and hips stutter.

God help a piece of shit like him, but he loved it.

Mickey snuck a hand down to cup his palm against her belly, tried to imagine what she might look like months from now, swollen with a babe that might have his eyes, might have her hair.

_A baby._

He groaned against her cheek. What sorta world was it to bring a kid into? A fucking _kid._ The thought should stop him, should scare him enough to put a stop to everything and run.

But it weren't. His blood didn't run any colder, didn't make his movements any weaker. Mickey fucked her on the floor in his shitty room, in his shitty house, at the end of the shitty world, her mouth on his and his heart screaming like a freight train.

She had asked him for this. And Mickey was realizing pretty damn quick that there weren't much he'd ever deny her.

After, she lay on her back, breasts heaving and Mickey couldn't resist but put his mouth on them, rubbing his bristly chin over her sensitive skin just to watch it redden.

Maya laughed, arching herself into his kisses, black hair tangled in a messy nest around her head as she wound her fingers into Mickey's own ruffled hair, and Mickey thought he could die like this and be happy. Fuck the rest of the world, just let him have this for eternity.

She still had marks on her from Jake, and Mickey mouthed them all with possessive brushes of his lips, but there were others that he hadn't noticed before. He traced a silvery scar on her calf, and she told him about trying to jump over a barbed wire fence at boot camp and failing. Mickey told her about the knife wound at his hip, a wicked scar that would have cost him his life had Eli not found him bleeding in a dirty alley and dragged his ass to hospital.

Eli. Poor baby Eli.

She distracted him with a story about the bullet scar on her bicep, a souvenir from Afghanistan. By the time morning had fully dawned, she had told him about her brother, Paul, killed in action. He had told her about raising his own kid brothers, that he had tried the best he could but things had never really come together like he hoped. That they had been the only family he'd had, broken as it had been.

That he hoped he'd do better. With her. With…theirs.

_Theirs. Their own family._

 

* * *

 

"You gonna be okay?"

Maya paused, halfway dressed. Mickey hated seeing all that flesh disappear, wanted to just pull her down and tear it all off again, but there was shit that needed doing. The privacy of night had passed, he could hear people moving around downstairs, knew that they had to get up and act normal.

She was smiling, her lips still a little swollen and chin irritated from his beard. "Why wouldn’t I be? Are _you_ okay?"

Mickey snorted, tugging a clean shirt over his head. There was a pleasant burn in his arms and thighs, and he grinned, shooting her a wink. "'M fine. Just…think you should take it easy, s'all."

Maya rolled her eyes at him, pulling her borrowed jeans all the way up to her waist, buttoning them closed. They were a bit loose on her, hanging low on her hips and Mickey preened as he saw his own love marks still on her skin.

 "I'm not some fragile maiden you just deflowered, Wilkerson."

Mickey swaggered over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her up. She kicked her bare feet in protest, dangling in his arms but the press of her body said she didn't mind none.

"That so?" he drawled, making sure to rumble the words against her ear where she was ticklish. "Maybe I need to do some more _deflowerin'_ then."

God but he loved her laugh. The corners of her eyes crinkled, her lips stretched in a wide smile that made his chest hurt. She squirmed around to face him, his arms trapping her.

"Promises, promises," she tutted, pecking his lips. "I certainly wouldn't mind but I've got stuff to do. Like make breakfast."

Reluctantly he put her down. She straightened her shirt, another one of Mickey's. He'd worn it as a younger man, the blue flannel now faded, practically grey. He liked her wearing his things, and gave the sleeve a tweak as she fussed with it.

"Looks good on ya."

The smile she gave him made him flush a little, still unused to looks like that being directed his way.

Together they laced up their boots, Mickey giving her ass a pinch as she straightened. She scolded him half-heartedly as he tugged the bedroom door open with an unrepentant grin, but he felt an answering pinch as he led the way down the stairs.

A fair few of the men were already up, back to finishing repairs and re-stocking. Mickey knew there was gonna be a supply run today, another run into town to scavenge what they could.

The back door was open, the smells of a cooking fire already seeping in. Mickey paused, glancing out. He didn't want to leave Maya, not after everything.

"You holler if there's trouble, yeah?" he murmured. "Promise me you won't go wanderin' off again."

"But wandering into trouble is my best superpower!" At his sharp glare, Maya bit back a laugh, soothing him with a quick kiss, leaning up on her toes. "Alright, alright. I promise."

Mickey watched her join the other women, shooting the sentries on duty the angriest stare he could muster. The two straightened nervously, looking anywhere but Maya as she joined the women at the cooking pot.

Satisfied the two wouldn't dare try something, Mickey turned on his heel and went to look for Job.

He didn't have to go far; Job was out front, directing some of the men to fill up one of the trucks. Mickey recognized the two from Maya's group helping, the skinny one struggling to heft up a heavy looking pack, arms shaking. The bigger one, Marcus, was still favoring his left arm but loaded some of the smaller bags.

"Mickey!" Job greeted him, smile sharp and cutting. "Thought you'd never get your lazy ass up."

Mickey grunted, casting a critical eye over the truck. "You preparin' for a trip into town?"

Job shrugged, scratching his chin. "Gotta new group set up by the fast food joint. Tough ones, from what Mark says. Thought I'd extend 'em an invitation."

"That such a smart move?"

Last thing Mickey wanted was _more_ meat headed idiots in the crew. Tensions were high enough.

Job crossed his arms. "Course it is. We need more men after losin' so many. No thanks to _you."_

Mickey didn't react. Job had already tore him a new one for abandoning his post to help Maya. "Thought you said you weren't gonna hold that over me."

"'M just sayin', we need more hands. That group that got us good is still out there and I 'aint sittin' round with my thumbs up my ass waitin' for 'em to come back. Which they will."

Job rocked on his heels, looking smug. "And we'll be fuckin' _ready_."

The sky was clear, visibility across the fields good. Mickey stared out across them, watching the sentries patrolling the edge of the property. "So what you want me to do while you're off sweet-talkin' the locals?"

Job shrugged. "Not gettin' my men killed maybe?  'Aint that a thought."

Mickey felt his temper raising its ugly head. "Weren't my fault the men you got were too stupid to handle their own damn guns!"

Job tutted at him. "Now don't you go getting' your panties in a goddamn bunch, I'm just havin' fun."

He winked. "Kinda like you were havin' _fun_ last night. Thought you were stabbin' her the way she was wailing. Well, a _different_ sorta stabbin' I mean."

By the truck, Marcus nearly dropped the box he had jammed under his armpit. The smaller one nervously helped him load it onto the truck, head down.

Job swayed close to sling his arm across Mickey's shoulders. "One day brother, Wilkerson is gonna _mean_ somethin'."

"That so?" Mickey watched Marcus recover, stooping to grab something else. "Like what?"

Job gestured with his hand. "Power. _Fear._ We're gonna rule this whole fuckin' county, and 'aint no-one gonna dare do what those sneaky fuckers tried to do."

Job's hand squeezed his shoulder. "I'm proud of you for steppin' up, Mickey. I had my doubts 'bout lettin' you have the woman but…you done good."

Disgust curled in his belly, hot and heavy.

"Job-"

"And soon," his brother interrupted him, pulling away. "She's gonna give you a son like my woman's givin' me one. We'll rebuild."

"And if she don’t?" Mickey said bluntly, needing to know. "If she can't-"

"Then I'll give you one who can," Job said cheerily, slapping him lightly on the cheek. "Now go make yourself useful helpin' by the barn. I got shit to see to 'fore I head out."

Mickey bit back words. Job's trust in him had been restored, he couldn't ruin it all now.

"Fine. Just don't go playin' with those big ones. Don't need any more of those big fuckers comin' round here again."

Job waved him away. "Yeah, yeah."

Mickey reluctantly headed to the barn, uneasy. He'd never been good at reading his brother, but there weren't much he could do. Best plan was to keep his head down, stay on Job's good side until he could figure something out. 

Didn't mean he liked it though.

Marcus' eyes followed him. Mickey could practically feel the hatred burning into his back.


End file.
